Another crap shoot day.... - ThinnerTimes

lealphachienne · 05-03-2005, 06:15 PM

Guess what this time? Yeah, dummy here got drunk at work and his boss drove him to the train and told him to go home. Don't know if he's still employed. Anyway, I'm getting him into an inpatient treatment program tonight. Hoepefully he'll stay and complete the 30 days and maybe get to keep his job and his wife.......

HAMPTON5555 · 05-03-2005, 06:31 PM

Marie,

You are so strong and can handle this!! You and the hubby are in my thoughts and prayers. He needs help and is lucky to have you!!

I feel like I know you even though we have'nt actually met.

Rain

katlover66 · 05-03-2005, 06:34 PM

Marie,
You have lots of support here. I do want to express that what you decide to do needs to be what you need and want. Not what others want. My first husband was a drunk who screwed around on me while I worked 2 jobs and he bounced checks. It took me 5 years to walk out. I have been with my husband now for 13 years and I prefer a nice man who works hard and drinks in moderation.

Dara · 05-03-2005, 06:34 PM

Marie:

First of all, I'm so sorry you're having to endure this. There has to be a deeper meaning to all the self-destructive behavior your hubby is exhibiting with the alcohol abuse. He's choosing alcohol over his job, his marriage, and his health.

Seriously, I know you must have at least tried to talk with him about this. What does he say? Or, should I say, does he say anything? I agree that, at this point, inpatient treatment and counseling are probably the only ways he's going to dig his way out.

Believe me, I have demons that I wrangle all the time. The only difference is that my demons don't physically harm me, potentially kill someone else, cost me my job, or cost me my marriage.

Good luck with your plans. I hope the best for you. You deserve it, friend.

Blueyz · 05-03-2005, 07:59 PM

Marie~

I am sorry you have to deal with this. You are one tough cookie!!

I lived with an alcoholic / heroin addict (my ex-husband) for 7 years and it was very difficult for me. I finally got the strength to walk away and change my life. I was sick of trying to make him change.

I don't know what will happen in your situation, but you have to do what is best for you. Whatever you decide, we are here for you.

lealphachienne · 05-03-2005, 10:50 PM

It was hard leaving him there, but at least I know he's safe. We shall see what each day brings.

katlover66 · 05-04-2005, 06:09 AM

Marie,

all you can do it take it one day at a time.

watergirl · 05-04-2005, 06:11 AM

Exactly - deal with it one day at a time. I've got you both in my prayers.

Barbarajo · 05-04-2005, 06:36 AM

Marie,

The best things in life are worth fighting for. A sober healthy husband and a sober relationship is one of those things.

My only advise to you is this: Set clear boundries with yourself. Like if he doesn't stay in treatment then say he must be attending a group once or more times a week. Or something like that. If he refuses to stay within the boundaries than you have to decide what to with your life from there. Drug, alcohol and other destructive addictions are harmful to others and to yourself. That's why you have to protect yourself from someone else's destruction.

Boundaries are the most important thing you can do for yourself. Love yourself enought to set them.

If you need to talk more. Let me know. I help run and Recovery ministry at my church, we have about 100 people that come every week. We have a group for the spouses as well as the addicts.

lealphachienne · 05-04-2005, 07:02 AM

This is it for me. There's no way to continue life as is if he's unemployed. The loss of his income means moving out of state so I can support myself, go to school and still have a decent lifestyle.

I don't particularly want to leave CA just yet. I have a good job and more support here from the locals than I would anywhere else. So, one day at a time, but I do have a plan for an alternative life if and when that time may arise.