Has this happened to you? - ThinnerTimes

SoCalFashionista · 06-19-2008, 11:38 AM

So I'm fairly conflicted with something that happened to me last night. I had a get together with some coworkers to celebrate the going away of one of the gals that I work with. Normally I'm extremely good about not snacking when I see things at the buffet table, or even having more than a glass of red wine, but I don't know what came over me last night. I hadn't really eaten much other than a salad with some grilled chicken at about 10 that morning so maybe that's what it was but when I had a piece of chicken at the going away somehow it turned into 2 pieces... and potatoes... and a soda. Sans the soda you wouldn't normally think grilled chicken and skinless potatoes doesn't sound too bad. Well before I continue know that everything I ate WAS FRIED!

I am PreOp so sadly I can get away with more because my body doesn't make me feel like I want to die if I eat the wrong thing but when I got home last night and I looked at how the perfectly fitted black dress pants I wore out of the house were now digging into me, I felt like I failed. I broke down. My husband told me that I don't need to be too hard on myself because I can take this mistake and use it to better my life. I love my husband, I do with my entire heart, but far be it for me to be a little cynical every now and again because he doesn't understand what being fat is. I married the man that no one thought I deserved. Extremely fit and gorgeous, with only one visible flaw... an overweight wife. I hear what he says but didn't really pay attention to it. Again cynical not because I think he's crazy.

Here's my dilema, I felt like I lost my will power completely last night. I weighed myself when I woke up this morning and hadn't even gained an ounce so I shouldn't be too upset. But at the same time, I'm worried that that may be something that carries over after I have my surgery. I know we all have our moments of weakness, but it's my weakness that got me to the weight I am now. Does anyone who has had the surgery have moments like this? I really need advice about this becasue I don't want this to be something that constantly weighs on my mind. Any thoughts would be great.

armywife456 · 06-19-2008, 01:39 PM

I haven't had my surgery yet but I personally know someone who has and after being active here on TT I have noticed a trend. Anyone who over does it after surgery ends up throwing up! Also, most of the cravings are no longer there for the first few months, I think by then you would be used to watching carefully not to over do it so that you don't get sick.
I myself am in LOVE with food, today is my second day on my pre-op protien diet and I feel like I am losing my mind without any food. I am allowed a liquid protien shake in the morning and for dinner, for lunch only a dinner sized salad. Don't get discouraged, you are gonna do just fine. You're lucky to have a wonderful encouraging husband. I think thats whats helping me through this torture. Just keep your head up and know that everyday is a new day, a new beginning.
I read a book just recently that I thought was very helpful with all the struggles of WLS. Its called "It ain't over till the skinny lady sings", I don't remember who is it by but I picked it up at the local library.
And to answer your title line, YES what happened to you has happened to me!

SoCalFashionista · 06-19-2008, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by armywife456

I haven't had my surgery yet but I personally know someone who has and after being active here on TT I have noticed a trend. Anyone who over does it after surgery ends up throwing up! Also, most of the cravings are no longer there for the first few months, I think by then you would be used to watching carefully not to over do it so that you don't get sick.
I myself am in LOVE with food, today is my second day on my pre-op protien diet and I feel like I am losing my mind without any food. I am allowed a liquid protien shake in the morning and for dinner, for lunch only a dinner sized salad. Don't get discouraged, you are gonna do just fine. You're lucky to have a wonderful encouraging husband. I think thats whats helping me through this torture. Just keep your head up and know that everyday is a new day, a new beginning.
I read a book just recently that I thought was very helpful with all the struggles of WLS. Its called "It ain't over till the skinny lady sings", I don't remember who is it by but I picked it up at the local library.
And to answer your title line, YES what happened to you has happened to me!

Your Surgery date is coming up so fast!! I'm so excited for you. You have to keep me posted how you do! Good luck and thank you so much for the words of encouragement.

blisandt · 06-19-2008, 01:51 PM

Dear Sol -

I too am Pre-op and it's hard... not to feel "this might be my last supper" syndrome.. and they do call it a syndrome... We "know" we are about to be unable to eat "anything ever again" (false)... and that is an unnatural mindset.

for people like me: prone to overeating, it makes it tough... I keep thinking "when I get x done, I will really start the diet to prep my health" (for the operation)...

Oh: and I don't weigh myself the SECOND day after, um, indulging... that's when it "shows" for me.

ITM, forgive yourself and get back on the horse. Post op it's all going to be VERY different... that much I can tell!

CeeCee · 06-19-2008, 02:17 PM

Well, I'm more than a year post-op. You'll be okay, it will be all right, so on and so forth. And you know something? It's true! One piece of fried chicken before OR after surgery is not going to kill you. Of course, after surgery you may think it's killing you. Many of us dump on sugar, many on fat, many or most on both. Fried foods will go through you like no tomorrow, and you'll feel like poop- when you're not pooping your life out. Do we all try it? At least a smidge? Sure- I don't think there is a halo or blue, madonna-like glow anywhere on the forum. We need to learn our limits. The big difference after surgery is that while you may or may not dump on something like that, you will most times not even want to try. You've had major surgery, spent thousands of dollars, worried your family, and this is your so-called last chance. You won't WANT to screw up.
Oh, and a person who has "completely lost ... will power" would not be on the scale the next morning. You'd be pulling out of the drive-thru with a dozun donuts on the seat next to you!

You didn't do that, did you?

fisher1000 · 06-19-2008, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blisandt

ITM, forgive yourself and get back on the horse. Post op it's all going to be VERY different... that much I can tell!

This quote sums it up. This is one of the most important things that you can do--move on!

After the surgery, you won't physically be able to do what you did at the party, but as time goes on, your body may be able to tolerate those foods. Your demons are still going to be there, your addiction to food is still going to be there, the only difference will be that you'll have your pouch on your side this time. You'll be in a much better place to make better choices because you'll know exactly what individual foods will do to you and how they'll make you feel.

This is another example of how we all (pre-ops and post-ops) need to do away with the MYTH of bad foods/good foods. There are certainly better choices we can make, and our tool will help us make those decisions. We can't fall off of a wagon that we're not riding. We are living, and you can't fall out of life just because you made a bad decision--you keep living. Understand that what happened to you at the party was a singular event, and you will choose do better the next time, because you are aware of how you felt. Then let it go. Beating yourself up is going to lead to associated behaviors to soothe your psyche--most notably eating for comfort. You don't want one event to turn into two, then three, and then snowball from there.

Skinny people don't think this way, why should we? This tool is about control, it's about moderation, and it's about life in the midst of becoming who we truly are (what Miss Claire calls our "authentic selves."). You are NOT going to be undone by a piece of fried chicken.

In fact, let me tell you that at 9 months out, I enjoy fried potatoes at our local restaurant for breakfast. Do I eat them everyday? No. Maybe once or twice a month. Taco Bell? Had it last night--but instead of 7 or 8 items, I had 1 1/2 soft tacos. I'm in charge now. I make the decisions about my healthy lifestyle and I can't feel guilty when I feed my machine. Sometimes the fuel is exactly what I need, sometimes it's on the fringe, but I can no longer spend my days concerned with the past that won't be back to let me change it. I must be vigilant and future minded. This is where you will be post-op. Your decisions will be clearer and your relationship with food WILL change, but those old feelings will never really leave. We just have to make friends with those feelings and know that while we may win the war on weight, there will likely still be occasional battles.

What you're feeling is totally normal, but nothing to feel bad about. You are on a path of success, whether you detoured last night or not. You are still on the journey--and you're still awesome. Go look in the mirror and remind yourself of that.

-Mike

fisher1000 · 06-19-2008, 02:31 PM

Hmmmm...CeeCee said the same thing I said, just shorter!

Am I getting long winded in my old age?

-Mike

SoCalFashionista · 06-19-2008, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CeeCee

Well, I'm more than a year post-op. You'll be okay, it will be all right, so on and so forth. And you know something? It's true! One piece of fried chicken before OR after surgery is not going to kill you. Of course, after surgery you may think it's killing you. Many of us dump on sugar, many on fat, many or most on both. Fried foods will go through you like no tomorrow, and you'll feel like poop- when you're not pooping your life out. Do we all try it? At least a smidge? Sure- I don't think there is a halo or blue, madonna-like glow anywhere on the forum. We need to learn our limits. The big difference after surgery is that while you may or may not dump on something like that, you will most times not even want to try. You've had major surgery, spent thousands of dollars, worried your family, and this is your so-called last chance. You won't WANT to screw up.
Oh, and a person who has "completely lost ... will power" would not be on the scale the next morning. You'd be pulling out of the drive-thru with a dozun donuts on the seat next to you!

You didn't do that, did you?

Oh goodness no! No doughnuts. as much as we would all love to do that without suffering and consequences. I sike myself out too mcuh when it comes down to stuff like that. I constantly have to know my weight. I actually had a thought this morning while I was looking through some old pictures of myself. I honestly can't tell you what day or sometimes even what year some of my pictures were taken but for some reason I can tell you exactly what I weighed. That in itself is is enough to stop me from becoming a drive-thru diva.

JuliaGulia · 06-19-2008, 03:58 PM

I am very newly post op and I can say IT ALL CHANGES. (atleast for me)
Example: I went to outback steak house pre-op with intentions of having fish and veggies(this was not "last supper" I ate like this all the time!!)...I got overwhelmed when I actually got into the restaurant (which is not uncommon for me) and ended up having 3 margaritas, wings with ranch AND blue cheese, a chopped salad, a new york strip with a loaded baked potato...you may think I was done but NOOOO I had to have a cinammon apple oblivion (don't ask--to die for!!)

anyway.. my point is that the difference for me NOW is that overeating like this is COMPLETELY OFF THE TABLE..it's not an option so for me hasnt been an issue.
there was a post awhile ago that I think about all the time: he said what this tool has done for him is free his mind up enough to deal with the issues as to why he is overweight. BECAUSE OVEREATING IS'NT AN OPTION!
People say that this changes (doctors included so I believe it!) so the advice that I was given is to use the "honeymoon" time wisely!! Use it to learn a completely new lifestyle and you too will be successful.

frantastic_one · 06-19-2008, 04:08 PM

Great words of wisdom posted above! Please try to stop beating yourself up--the past is history. What you did was out of habit and head hunger--something you'll be working on over the next months/years. You tripped and you recognized it and you'll learn from it. What was the trigger that made you do it? For me it is having access to it when I am still craving carbs and sugar--for you it could be another trigger. Think about it so you'll be aware the next time the situation pops up again.

You're going to do great!