At one year post-op, I have come to the conclusion that sh** happens. Every now and then, I'm just going to eat something I shouldn't. Maybe it'll make me sick, maybe it won't. Maybe (tonight just happened to be one of those nights) I'll just have a major battle with head hunger. And maybe I'll lose.
But a lifestyle isn't something you never deviate from. It's the sum of ALL of your choices. So if once every few weeks I blow it, I'm just not going to get worked up about it.
Once you have your surgery, you'll have the tool you need. But the point of all this is to live a healthier, happier life, right? Beating yourself up is not healthy or happy. If you stay this worked up over every morsel you put in your mouth, you may lose weight but you won't enjoy it. Don't take this wrong, but I'd rather be fat and relaxed than skinny and miserably accounting for every morsel I put in my mouth.
Most thin people don't think this way. Food isn't an obsession for them. They enjoy it, and they stop when they're full. My idea of success with this surgery is to be like them. I eat when I'm hungry, I stop when I'm full. Most of the time I eat healthy, occasionally I blow it.
I guess what I'm trying to say (gosh it's late - am I even making sense?) is that you need to cut yourself some slack. And that part of the work to having this surgery is developing a better attitude toward food. A more healthy attitude.
It will come, but you do have to work toward it. Just don't let surgery become an excuse to get even more uptight - because who wants to live that way?
I recently read a book I'd recommend - "The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide To Life After Bariatric Surgery" by Cynthia Alexander. It deals with all the emotional stuff you're likely to go through. I really wish I'd had it beforehand!
Best of luck!
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