6 Days Pre-Op and Reconsidering - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

WAITING80 · 04-09-2008, 12:44 PM

Hello everyone my name is Kay and I am 6 days pre-op and seriously wondering if I am making the right decison mainly because I have 3 small children all under 3 years old (twins and a single birth) and I want to be around for them. I have been doing a lot of research and studying on risks and benefits of gastric bypass surgery and I thought I was so ready but the closer I get to my date the more worried I get. I am 27 years old with no real health problems other than the fact that I am 374 lbs and having mild edema. My children are also one of the main reasons i decided to have the surgery so that I will be around for them, it's just that the risks are starting to scare me. Did everyone else feel like this closer to surgery date or is it just me. What kind of complications have you all experienced if any, and what has been your overall opinion of the surgery and if you had to would you do it again? I'm just looking for a bit of support and encouragement. I love the TT Forum, it is very enlightening and very informative, thanks guys.

Bat Masterson · 04-09-2008, 01:00 PM

The closer I got the more nervous I got. And there were times when the "stubborn me" would say "why are you doing this, you can do it yourself". But that would pass, and now being a little over 2 weeks post op, even with the HUGE life change, I would make the same decision again. Especially with how young we are. Not only would you be doing this for your kids, but as they get older, and they see a slimmer you, they will be less likely to develop a weight problem as well. The only "complication" if you want to call it that, was I couldnt pass gas after surgery, and they kept me longer than usual. They gave me a suppository and everything was ok. Yes, there is pain, but there is also pain meds. And good ones at that. I would make the same decision again. The rest of our lifes are going to be so much better. Why do you think every calls it a second birthday?

SueRN · 04-09-2008, 01:15 PM

I never really second guessed myself until that morning of the surgery. It did cross my mind if I was doing the right thing. It's normal to feel this way. I don't regret it for a minute and just wish I had done it sooner. It is a whole new way of life. Just think about how much running around you will be able to do with those precious children of yours! It's always ok to change your mind. There is no wrong or right here. But it's very normal to get scared just before the big day! Sue

CiCi · 04-09-2008, 01:16 PM

Kay, this is such a HUGELY personal decision. I will say that most all of us went through the same kind of worry you are pre-op. If you haven't already, may I suggest that you look through the "Pre-Op" thread and read all the entries. So many of them apply to the concerns about what to expect and whether or not to go through with the surgery. I hope it helps you, one way or the other!

Best of luck to you!

paige52 · 04-09-2008, 02:42 PM

You will find 95% of the people are happy with their decision. Since i've been coming here there has been 5 of us looking for a doc to do a reversal and 2 actaully had a reversal. I'd have one if I wasn't afraid of making things worse than they already are. It's been 18 months for me.... if I had it to do over I'd run screaming to WW and apply myself ...really apply myself.. and make some fundamental life changes to my health/eating/excersize habits. It's been 14 month of pure hell and 4 months of discomfort and general unhealthy.

Chance are you will lose a lot of weight quickly, and you have an equally better than average chance of being a lucky one that has few complictaions.... I wasn't. There's more than 5 of us on the board that have complications.... we are just the 5 that are fairly verbal about it.

The general consensus on this board is that even with a few complications it's worth it. I dont' share that opinion personally and I'd give pretty much anything to have a do over. Btu that's not possible so I"m doing the best I can with the hand that I was dealt....for now.

Understand a few things clearly...
1. you are taking a healthy digestive system and making it unhealthy.
2. You will need to take vitamins, calcium, B vits, Iron and many others faithly for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Even then, you could still possibly end up deficent in many areas requiring injection, IV and ultimately suffer from osteo, anemia and a myrid of other malabsorptive stemming problems.
3. You run a 30% chance or better of gaining more than 50% of your lost weight back after 5 years. But the change to your disgestive track is forever! That means you can get to a point that you can eat, gain weight and STILL have issues with the vitamin deficent stuff listed above.
4. Your body's ability to absorb effects more than vitamins... many medications will nto be absorbed by your body effeciently and you will need to have a liquid version... My last bladder infection took 3 rounds of Cipro pills before we finally figure out that I need a liquid. Cleared up in 7 days after 21 days of pills.

you could end up like this lady....

Posted by: "Jennifer" Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:12 pm (PDT) Hi there,

Let me introduce myself officially...I'm Jennifer, a 36 yr old married step mom to one 14 yr old son, been married 10 yrs this July and I had a lap-RNY Nov 2005. A little of my history...

I've been overweight my entire life. I did ever diet that you can think of starting as early as 11 yrs old. I was overweight as a child, but only by about 30lbs or so until my Sr. yr in high school when I put my knee cap "behind" my knee during a volleyball tournament. I was also involved in cheerleading, but after 4 yrs of being sports I was suddenly stalled with a ankle to groin leg immobilizer and side-lined for about a yr with months of being in the brace, then physical therapy etc...During that time I gained probably about 70lbs or so. I got married in 93 at about 240lbs. I got divorced in 96, and lost some weight...felt great, but as you know you don't lose weight as it always seems to "find" you along with it's friends. I remarried in 98 and got into the comfort phase and slowly by about 2003 I hit 300lbs and realized I couldn't do this alone. I started researching WLS on my own (just from the media and such by this point), and felt it might be something to consider. In 2004 I asked my PCP about it (he happens to be my cousin as well), but he said if it's something I wanted to consider he thought it might do well for me and he'd get me a referral. Some up's and down's and surgeon retiring..finding a new surgeon and fast forward to 2005 and I was approved for the RNY. I had no co-morbidites really, just mild acid reflux, and sore joints from being overweight. I chose the RNY because I felt this was the best in my case...Quite a few of my friends had had this procedure, as well as my sister, and all had wonderful resultss..No complications. My surgeon was a dream, and still is to this day.

Fast forward to 11/15/2005 I had my surgery. No problems during. Next day the only problem was soreness. I was up walking, and was released 2 days after the surgery. Came home and did very well. I was only on pain meds during the hospital stay and maybe 1 or 2x after that at home did I take the Loritab elixir they sent me home with. The rest as they say is the beginning of the end. The "best" thing we can come up with is that 2 weeks after my surgery I got violently ill. Massive diarreha (to the point of soiling myself), vomitting, severe stomach cramping to tears..Went to ER where they did some testing, and was found to have severe dehydration, but SOMEHOW I'd contracted salmonella poisoning...They think that poisoning set off the rest of these events...

I recovered after about a week, and was still on track with soft foods, but maybe 1 or 2 bites, IF that, but then a few weeks go by, and I start being unable to keep anything down...then it starts with fluids as well. I end up in the ER almost every other day for 2 weeks for dehydration and severe stomach pain They found nothing in X-ray's or the CT of my abdomen...so my surgeon sends me to an Gastroenterologist. Upon seeing him, he suggests that it sounds like my pouch opening now that completely healed has healed too tightly, so he suggests going in via an endoscopy to "stretch" me out. We schedule it for the next morn, and while in there he finds something much worse. At least 90% of my new pouch is covered with a horrid bleeding peptic ulcer, that when touched even by my own gastric secretions is causing me to vomit. He prescribes carafate and prevacid sublingual. I can't keep the liquid down, and usually even vomit once I swallow the sublingual...the weight keeps coming off too fast. My surgeon, and gastro are speaking almost every other day at this point.

I went from 328lbs before surgery to 94lbs in 7 months. They knew something had to give soon or they said I wouldn't make it another 6 months as my body was starting to eat itself...I was having heart problems, muscular problems, etc. They said a surgery to remove the infected ulcer wasn't an option because there's a 70% chance it'll come back..PLUS it covers 90% of my pouch. 2nd option is a feeding tube in my side into my old stomach, and 3rd was a feeding tube inserted in my nose, down "past" my new stomach, or a PICC line. They felt surgery was way too risky with my body fading so fast...PICC line was dangerous because it goes to your heart and they were afraid it would cause a major cardiac episode and get infected, as was the tube down my nose...So they chose tube inmy side to old stomach. I went in for that procedure, and before they were able to do it, they ran some more tests, and found my old stomach had shriveled up to a raisin and wasn't viable for use any longer. So back to the drawing board, and they opted for a PICC line with 24/7 TPN's with an at home nurse. I was on that for 4 months...gained about 10 lbs and felt much better becasue I was able to keep the meds down now for the ulcer. I eventually ended up with a blood clot though that almost killed me....and the list continued...to make it short I now suffer from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, osteo-arthritis, osteo-parosis, low immune system so I'm sick constantly. I have a severely low white blood count. Low vitamin levels. Swollen lymph nodes, beginnings of rheumatoid arthritis...still have the raging ulcer, but now it's expanded from my stomach and is making it's way up my esophagus.

I see 6 specialists that all keep in contact with each other, along with my surgeon still, and his staff that checks on me periodically. I wear pain patch, plus have to crush any meds I take, and even that doesn't mean they'll still stay down. 4 out of 7 days I usually can't get out of bed. I see Dr's weekly.. I still can't eat most solids as they make me violently ill. I don't get enough protein, and the only thing that keeps my weight up seems to be my ability to eat cookies, and chips occassionally. My surgeon, and gastro both agree that's not something I "should" be eating, BUT if I can eat it, and it stays down. Eat whatever I want. I tried stopping the sweets, and have attempted to make myself eat other things, but I just end up losing about 6-10lbs in less than a week and can't stop vomitting. My ulcer hates most any an everything. Nothing "creamy", or "thick" which is awful because I would love to eat something like that. I also have IBS so I can't eat veggies or I swell up horribly, and hurt so badly. It just never seems to end....

The biggest thing I want people to see and understand is that we're ALL different. What works for one of us, doesn't mean it will work for someone else. I see some people telling others that they "HAVE" to eat XX amount of protein or else!! Or else what is what I want to know? Why is someone else's way the right way? I feel lucky in that my Dr's are unbelievably helpful and wonderful and caring. But I see other's that get treated like crap by their Dr's, then they come on here saying what they are doing because it's the only thing they can do, and they are criticized because they aren't getting enough protein, or the right kind of protein, or the right vitamin, or the right kind of Vit D, or Iron, or the list goes on...Haven't we all learned yet that EVERY surgeon is different in their after-care? Haven't we all listened to each other and how our compications are different? I've had people tell me OMG you HAVE to have protein and you'll be fine!! Have they lived in my shoes? Do they know my exact medical problems? How come they're way is the "only" right way? Now granted some Dr's don't even give a crap on follow -up so I understand giving suggestions...I'll give them..but they are just that suggestions..what worked for me might not work for you in your case.

One thing I suggest is everyone needs to do their own research, and follow up with their own tests and such. It's your life, shouldn't you be more invovled in your care? I've lucked out because my Dr's all say the same thing...How refreshing it is to have a patient actually know what's going on and want details. I also don't take any crap. ER nurses, and or Dr's don't know your history...if they don't like what I say, then find me someone that will. I have no problem telling Dr's offices that either and I have. You are your own best advocate. I know sometimes it seems that it's not going to get better, but we're only given what we can handle. I'm going to live every day that I can as much as I can. I chose this surgery, and it chose to screw me over...But in the same breath, I'm CHOOSING not to let it kill me. I urge everyone to fight for their own health. Research everything. Keeps notes...keep test results. I have my own jump drive I carry with me that I give to each Dr to upload my latest info onto.

I'm sorry this is so long and maybe rambling..I tend to do that..LOL, but I do want everyone to take head and remember we're all different, so what works for me might not work for you. I can't drink soda, but to the woman that does. It's her choice, and reason why...It's not ours to judge her on how wrong that is. You don't live in her body to know why. Just like you don't live in my body to know why I seem to only be able to eat sweets normally, and I don't live in yours to know why only something else might work for you. We can't let our problems be the only ones, nor can we let our results be the "right" way. =) Take care of yourselves....and remember..RESEARCH...RESEARCH!!!! =)

*hugs*

Jenn

Is the story meant to scare you? Not really but be aware that this womans results are what they are....dismal. I was a "healthy" fat person.... I'd give anythign to have a chance to be that again. RNY is forever... Personally I think you are right to be afraid. The morning of my surgery I knew it was the wrong decision for me but because I'd spent so much money on travel and tests and told everyone I was going to do it... I went through with it. Now I'm sad that I didn't listen to myself. And worry only about disappointing myself because well based on results.... it hasn't worked out all that well for me.

To make it fair.... my huband had the same surgery 9 months after me and he was complication free for many months. He has had some depression to deal with, has only lost about 60% of his expected/recommended wieght loss becasue he can sorta eat sweets still without dumping and occsionally has a IBS now.... other than that..he's in the "totally worth it" camp.

I"m sure the polite thing would have been for me to say... "everyone goes through the doubt/fear...it will be okay" or that it's really just a personal decsion... but you asked for my opinion so I"m giving it... if you are not 120% sure that you are doing the right thing for yourself then step away for now. Most surgery approvals are good for a year, you can always reschedule if you feel more comfortable in your decisions later... you can always move forward but you can NEVER go back!

RebeccaNV · 04-09-2008, 03:15 PM

Dear Dear Kay,

I think back to when I was 29 and had three young children. At that time I "only" weighed in the 220's and if someone would have suggested WLS back then (I am now 43, 206 lbs. 5'4) I would have taken it.

My oldest child is now 20 and my youngest is 15. In all of this time the least I have ever weighed is 163 lbs, and that was for a very short time. Being overweight as your children grow up is not a fun nor it is an easy thing to do. There will be soccer, t-ball, swimming lessons and for you, being overweight, these will be difficult to attend. Later as they grow there will be class plays, band/choir concerts, dance recitals, high school football, basketball and baseball games. It isn't fun to find seating or climb up and down the stairs at these events. Even though I wasn't "huge" I never felt as though I fit in with the other mothers. I do think that my own children picked up on this.

Kay, I hope that you will decide to go through with the surgery. I have been researching the risks for several months and in your case I would say that advantages outweigh the risks. You already know what risks come from being overweight. I now have diabetes. Cardio disease runs in my family. I worry what will happen if I gain more weight. Things can happen and then what kind of quality of life does one have anyway?

Rebecca

SantanaRose · 04-09-2008, 05:47 PM

Hey Kay,

Im having my surgery on April 15th... I've been crying every single day and I wish I had some amazing words of wisdom to share with you... I just try to keep in mind that a life being as big as i am isn't really a life... I'm having surgery to start over so I can have kids one day and be able to run around with them and not be held back by my weight...

I think being scared is normal, it is surgery after all. Maybe imagine how awesome its gonna be to pick up your babies with more ease once you've lost some weight... its gonna be worth it and yes your kids are young BUT all the more reason to start on the road to better health now... you've got years and years of chasing them around in your future!

buttons08 · 04-09-2008, 06:10 PM

I understand how you are feeling. My surgery is the 25th of April. On the last long post that would scare anybody from having any surgery... But I have done so much research on this. With every surgery there are risk. When I had my gallbladder out 3 years I still experience dumping with that without having the weight loss surgery. I didn't know that until I went to see my surgeon. My reg doctor didn't understand why I was having so many movements in the morning. Will its what you eat....the gallbladder is where your fattie foods go out to your intestines. But there was a lot of pain with mine and wasn't functioning right to being with. So I had to have the surgery.... So my side effect from the surgery was if I eat something fattie then I had to run to the bathroom or it will hit me in the morning times. But I don't have the pain anymore..... Having another surgery wasn't easy for me to decide on...It took me while to make the decision and now its coming up in 2 wks...I understand how you are feeling. For I also have a small child who is counting on me....but she also counting on me to live a full and healthy life...I didn't understand at first how my weight has cause her pain. When I told my daughter that I was going to have this surgery and explain it to her...she was so excited for me....Her response was Once you lose the weight we can do more things together.....What can you say to that????HMmmmm Makes you think.....I have to trust in God and believe in him that things will be okay and if I have to walk down a dumpy road....then that his plan for me....I read something last night that help me.....it was Psalm 139 take the time to read it.....Sorry I went on to far....but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone......

Janelle · 04-09-2008, 06:23 PM

I think it is only natural to have some doubts about a surgery. Like you, my only problem was being overweight. I had NO comorbidities. But, I felt that it was better to have the surgery now than to wait to develop diabetes, high blood pressure, or any other problems. I don't have any children, but I agree with an earlier poster who said that being overweight during your kids' childhood isn't going to be easy. It isn't going to be easy to listen to your kids defend you because you are overweight. It isn't going to be easy to be physically involved with them...playing hoops, tossing a baseball, playing the random games of hide and seek. All of that will be exhausting because you carry extra weight. I see this all of the time with my sister. (And she has been referred to as Andrew's fat mom on more than one occasion and my nephew is only in kindergarten.)

Is surgery a risk? Sure, every surgery is. But I compared the life I would continue to have (worrying about fitting in restaurant booths, worrying about sitting in a sturdy chair, developing diabetes and high blood pressure, being called Andrew's fat "Kiki") and the life I would have after surgery. It was no contest for me. Like most people who battle with their weight, I have dieted before with initial good results, but I could never keep it off. I needed something to force me to eat better. This was a great choice for me. So far, I've lost 25 pounds in a bit over a month. I feel better. I have more energy. And every day, I worry a little less about finding a sturdy chair.

Dee Ruth · 04-09-2008, 06:27 PM

Hi Kay - I am celebrating my sixth year out from gastric bypass - I was 227 and had a lot of health issues. YES the closer I got to having the surgery the more I thought was it right or wrong. It is the right thing however please follow exactly what the Dr orders - I did not as I was 40 and head strong and I had some serious health issues and still do which is related to the bypass surgery. In the long run though I am happy being thinner and enjoy buying the cute clothes. You will be glad because you are so young and with three small children, the energy you will have - will totally surprise you. I will not lie at first it is tough especially when you want to gulp down a glass of water only to throw it up because you should of only had an ounce or so but you soon will learn what to eat and what not. I still find times when I eat wrong and still throw up. Sorry for being so up front but I wish that I would of had a better support group then what I had. I am hoping to get more information from others who are a few years out to see how their emotions are and to just compare notes - let me know if this has helped and if you want to continue to chat and ask more questions please do. IT IS WORTH IT in the long run :-) Dee in Colorad