Handling the lookie loo's and the neverending questions at work? - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

mistymee · 03-25-2008, 08:48 PM

How did you handle it? At first it was okay, because everyone seemed genuinely happy to see me back after so long, but as the day went on, it was clear that every time I'd go to the ladies room or even worse, the cafeteria at work, people would stare.. and ask questions...

The worst were the ladies that speak a different language and would look me up and down and then start talking to each other about me where I haven't a clue as to what they're saying and I felt *so* incredibly uncomfortable.

And can I assume that people will get bored at watching me eat my 2 to 3 ounces of food at lunch and move on?

And when they ask how much you've lost, do you tell them?

I feel very uncomfortable telling people at work the amount of weight I've lost.. here, I don't mind.. I'm amongst people who know.. who either are or have been in my shoes.. it feels different to me to share..

Clearly whatever I've lost isn't 'enough' and I think people just had expectations (as did I, to be honest).. that I would have lost more by now.

UGH..this all just sucks.. makes me dread going back..

coptergirl · 03-25-2008, 09:01 PM

Hon...sweetie...who cares what they think? Six months from now as they are gagging down a HoHo after eating greasy cafeteria pizza wondering why they gasp for air as they climb the stairs, you will be eating your proper portions getting hotter by the second. Phhhht on them. And if they ask you how much you have lost, you have every right to say "I'll tell you how much I have lost if you tell me how much you have lost." That'll shut 'em up

splendifor · 03-25-2008, 10:56 PM

(gonna put pre-op in my signature, nah, but I should since I'm so damn opinionated and I haven't had surgery yet

)

Those people make me wanna bring my inner bitch out and slap them around <.<

I think it would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny to say to anyone saying anything, "I have a brochure if you're interested in the surgery?" REAL cheerful and helpful like... turn the spotlight back on them (whether they'd qualify or not grrrr I'd do it to the skinny chicks too

)

Chia · 03-25-2008, 11:05 PM

I wanted to avoid a lot of the stares and whispers so I didn't talk about it much with my co-workers pre-op. Those who do ask how I am doing or how much I've lost, I just reply with "Thank you, I feel great.'' or " I'm not sure. I don't really look at the scale that much, I'm just trying to be healthier." It's a nice way to not answer the question while still being polite. Though, to be fair, the way people comment isn't always polite, so sometimes you just gotta rise above and ignore it and know you are doing the right thing for you. =0)

Amandazon247 · 03-26-2008, 05:43 AM

Well my hubby is such s private person he doesnt tell anyone anything..sometimes not even me .... and he told me just dont tell anyone... just take vaction get it done and come back... and just pretend like you are dieting.......

UMMMMMMMM NO .... I am not a good pretender or lier .... I dont give a hot damn what people think of me .. I am not doing this for anyone other than ME ... not hubby .. not friends.. not co-workers.... ME .. MISS MANDA .. numero uno... "I" need to be healthier to have a better quality of life... So what other people think makes no difference what so ever... I would just tell them I lost this much and I am very pleased with my results.... its everything I expected and keep it moving.....

coptergirl · 03-26-2008, 05:51 AM

Ummm..I thought of another reply: "NONE-YA" as in its none of your business

Sorry...I am a little cynical about nosey folks. They do it out of ignorance and blatant curiosity. I was really open to answering questions because many of my friends could have been candidates for the surgery. I had no complications (thankfully), so they wouldn't be able to say something bad about the surgery. I have had a few pull me aside to ask me questions because they actually contemplated having it, but alas...no takers just yet

txchick1971 · 03-26-2008, 06:29 AM

i tell and answer questions all the time...i work in engineering & design with mostly guys and they are actually keeping track of certain milestones....it's cool to be close enough to people that they want to know more......of course i don't really interact with people outside work because i'm too busy running my kids around......my admin even has added sugar-free treats to our monthly birthday celebrations....but of course i'm an attention whore so it all doesn't bother me

soon2bthin · 03-26-2008, 06:57 AM

Personally I have had nothing but optimism since my surgery from most people. If they start with the negativity then I just stop them and let them know how misinformed they have been about weight loss surgery. Just this week my co worker was bragging to someone how I could have been a poster girl for wls. made me feel good. As far as those with the stares and the talking in another language. Much of that and my true inner bitch would come out. I would give them the finger, it is a universal language everyone understands. Don't be so down on yourself, be proud of what you have accomplished up to the point and the many wows that are waiting down the road.

Cassie

Zenomia · 03-26-2008, 07:20 AM

First of all....You JUST had surgery not that long ago...your only a month or so out. SHeese...this isn't a SNAP Fix. It took YEARS to put that weight on and you will be shedding it over the next two!! Give yourself a break, and take a deep breath!

Your doing amazing being so early out!! Don't look for miracles and don't rely on other peoples opinions of what 'should' and 'shouldn't' be...YOU know what's right and you my dear, are right on track.

As to handling everyone else....I love and I mean LOVE Whit's comment! I have used it...When asked how much you have LOST or Weigh now...you simply say..."I'm right on track"...then back it up with..."How about YOU?" THough you do it while looking directly into their eyes in the most innocent and easy going way you can. That not only shuts them up, it answers their question and keeps them from repeating it later on!!

To deal with the Lookie Loo's while eating....well...I'm a bit of a clown

, so I would simply make a HUGE production of my meal. I would savor it out loud, for as long as I could drag it out. I would make a complete and utter spectacle of myself and my meal...gushing on and on about the taste, texture, flavor, proper European portioning....I would OOhhh and Aahhh about how LARGE all the other portions are and how I honestly couldn't possibly eat those unhealthy things. So on and so forth!

As you can see...it's all in how YOU present and deal with things. If you make it clear your NOT going to answer questions...they will stop asking, if you make them NOTICE you eating...they will stop making a big deal of it. Most of it is pure curiosity on thier part...the rest...are just "nosey Neds" with nothing better to do than follow someone elses life!

Tonystark04 · 03-26-2008, 07:20 AM

I just told my Supervisor at work this week b/c I felt comfortable in explaining my situation with her, with me missing work for pre-op appointments and all. When I explained to her what I was doing, she quickly reached for her purse and pulled out a bottle of pills from a weight loss doctor. I was in shock...But I know how people at my job are ....you tell one person, next thing everyone is sending Emails thru Outlook talking trash about me "going the easy route" or "all he needs to do is stop eating"....but for right now they can kiss my @$$

b/c I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing this for ME and now one else.

So who cares what people think...the spotlight is on you...Take advantage = )