Hi, just checking in... - ThinnerTimes

JennaM · 04-11-2005, 02:00 PM

Well, I started school last week, I am taking a surgical technology course, and I love it so far. It is going to alot of work. There is so much to learn. I was so anxious before I started because I haven't been to school in over a dozen years. But I feel as though I am going to do well. Now that I've actually started, and the anticipation is over, it's a relief.
That is the positive that is going on. Which is huge! I've taken a huge step and I am proud of myself.
The not so good that is going on is my relationship with my husband. Even before my surgery, we were having problems and had started couples therapy. Things improved for a while, but lately it's getting worse. Alot of the problems are my fault. I don't know if its the hormonal shifts that occur during weightloss or what but I've been extremely emotional. He hasn't expressed much affection or made any attempts to be intimate with me for months, which makes me feel horribly unlovable and unattractive. I feel like we are roommates. I hate him at times and want him to leave, then I can't imagine being alone, he was my best friend at one time. Now I don't know if we can ever get back what we once had. I never know what he is feeling. I sometimes get the feeling he is just staying out of duty and the fact that we can't afford to split up finacially, since he is the sole breadwinner right now. I know that is a major factor in me not leaving. My son senses things aren't ok and it breaks my heart. He's only 3. I hope and pray that things will get better, we continue to go to therapy together and I am going to start individual therapy also.
Thanks for listening. I needed to get this out, it has been weighing on my heart for so long. I don't want to become part of the statistic whose relationships fail after WLS. Neither do I want to stay in an unhappy marraige. Time will tell what will become of us. I intend to do my part to put the effort into making it work.

Americanwoman397 · 04-11-2005, 02:05 PM

Girl you know that has to be the hardest thing for us as woman and MO woman even more so. We need to feel that love at all times. I think you starting thearpy on your own as well is going to help a lot. Just take it one day at a time and I'll send you all my good thoughts and vibes. You guys are very good together from what I've seen and I think he really loves you. I know it is hard on them because they don't know what to say or do at times. I know Star and I went through that last week. One night he showed me a pic and I just started crying for no reason and I couldn't stop. All he could do is hold me and tell me he loves me which did help. Love you girl and I'm sure you guess will pull through this strong.

JennaM · 04-11-2005, 02:11 PM

Thanks for the encouraging words, I don't know what I would do without this forum. Even though I haven't been much of an active participant lately, I come here everyday and it helps me daily. I love ya girl and miss you, I hope to see you soon!

watergirl · 04-11-2005, 02:16 PM

Dear heart! You're doing the right thing by going to therapy. Working on ourselves and on our relationships is very important. Going to school and getting an education is a huge step to provide you with options. Congratulations for doing that, I'm very proud of you.

Stay strong!

Jeanie · 04-11-2005, 02:41 PM

I hope that everything works out for you. You are trying to make things better and that's all that matters. Keep fighting for yourself, and your marriage.
Hey are you going to the East County support meeting?

pambragg · 04-11-2005, 02:57 PM

Jenna Bean,
Oh sweet pea, I am sorry that things are not going so well with you guys now. I am really happy that you are going to do individual councelling. I need to get my flat butt in gear on that front myself. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Big hugs to you my dear. Love you to pieces.

Blueyz · 04-11-2005, 03:04 PM

Jenna~

I am so thrilled for you. I passed the entrance exam for the Glendale College Surgical Tech program and decided I couldn't do it. It was too much for me to do along with working 45 hours and raising 3 kids. I wanted to be home after work with my husband and kids. One day, I will go back to school. I am very proud of you and by the way you look great!!!

04-11-2005, 10:44 PM

Jenna,

Good to hear from you!!!

Am I counting right?? Are almost at the century club??? like 5.5 pounds to go!!!

WOW!!!

You are doing great!!!

We need to go out!!!

Rain

JennaM · 04-12-2005, 08:21 AM

Kim, Jeanie, Pam, and Dale. Thanks for the support. Rain, yeah I'm getting close. It doesn't seem real, I still feel like that 310# person. I'm off to school now. Check in with you all later.