My first friend that has decided to hate me... - ThinnerTimes

Chubbola · 02-10-2008, 06:15 PM

well, i officially have a friend (thought was best friend) that has decided to call me and tell me that she no longer wants to be my friend because i'm losing weight. wow-pretty much took the wind right out of me! i just sat there and couldn't even respond...all these thoughts came rushing through me like 'she likes me better fat', 'she doesn't want to be the fatter one', 'maybe i should eat half of a cake', and 'you bitch'... but of course i just sat there! i'm still wondering why she said it. i asked a different friend (one who is thin) and she said that i don't treat anyone else differently but i treat myself with more respect. so then i just kind of decided that the pre op psychiatrists were right-people may be threatened by my change. i didn't believe that this would happen, but now that it has, it has. any suggestions? has this ever happened to any of you? looking forward to some insight!

Andie · 02-10-2008, 06:58 PM

I'm so sorry....I haven't had this happen yet...so I don't have any words of widsom...but she doesn't sound like a good friend to have. (((Hugs)))

jerseygrl684 · 02-10-2008, 07:01 PM

i've been called cocky and i laugh because i am far from it, just more confident.

i find it kind of amusing... screw em all.

True friends stay there through... thick & thin.. all pun intended !!

kittens4 · 02-10-2008, 07:29 PM

It's weird that someone wouldn't be your friend anymore because you are losing weight!?! What is that about??? I just don't get it. Me, I still have the same friends as always. Nothing has changed for me since surgery. I feel better, I have more energy, but am still just the same as before. Relationships are all in tact. Maybe because I'm older, or just have nice relationships?? I dunno!!! I'm sorry you are going through that though...and I'm grateful that my "peeps" aren't having issues with my weight loss!

Linds0514 · 02-10-2008, 07:33 PM

ya my best friend refuses to comment on my weight loss, she has been overweight her whole life as well ( and it just so happens she had gained about 40 plus lbs pretty much during the same time i lost my 60 lbs) so i kinda see the dirty looks, but you just have to see it as them being jealous, they will get over it, and if they dont, then they werent your true friend to begin with.

Toony · 02-10-2008, 07:38 PM

My friend Jane was here tonight... she's so cute, she brought me a gift bag with a romance novel, two romance dvd's, a funky sipping glass, fun yarn, yummy soap and hand lotion... she said that I'm inspiring her to eat better too...

No losing that friend....

I'm just blown away that someone would actually say that to you ... was she sober? Well, good riddance then... she isn't the type of person you need to have in your life!!! Just plop my name in her place on your list of BFF's!

Katie

Debri85 · 02-10-2008, 08:41 PM

The only thing I can say is pretty much what the others have said, she wasn't a true friend...try not to let it get you down, I know it's hard but I think if you can remember that her behavior isn't really about you but about her that might help. Life is too short and she has made a choice to be mean. You WILL find other better friends.

Deb

katzz87 · 02-10-2008, 10:40 PM

My take on what your friend was really trying to say...is that SHE feels like a failure since she is still over-weight. It really has nothing to do with you...but how insecure she feels now that you are losing and she isn't able to.

If you feel like it...I'd talk to her about what really is going on! That is if you want to try to preserve the friendship.

Good luck!

coptergirl · 02-11-2008, 04:52 AM

Wow - I am really sorry to hear that - very hurtful. people are strange and say the darndest things when you don't expect it.

She is jealous of your success, and with that who needs her as a friend? Friends don;t treat friends that way! You deserve the love and support like what Katie got from her friend. Now is the time to figure out what you want in people in your life and surround yourself with them....

Chubbola · 02-11-2008, 05:06 AM

i'm kinda teetering on the whole idea that she's having a hard time accepting that i've lost and she's still morbidly obese. she made the comment that i 'forgot' what it's like to be fat......HeLLLOOOOO-i'm still obese-DUH! and secondly, i would NEVER forget what it's like to be so sad and lonely and isolated due to my body. i just try to focus on how far i've come and not have pity parties because of my former weight-there's no time for that!
toony-you're already on my BFF list you dork! :-)
thank you everyone for your insight-i'm so glad that a lot of you haven't experienced this!