Sad to hear ..... - ThinnerTimes

Blueyz · 03-20-2005, 05:18 PM

I am so sad....so many people are telling me to STOP losing weight. They say "JUST STOP" now. My family members are saying I look too skinny and are thinking I am turining anorexic, but I eat. I am trying to concentrate on not thinking about eating because I LOVE to eat. I do exercise and get out and about, so I don't sit home and do nothing. People are telling me that I don't need to go to the gym and that I am crazy. Well, they haven't walked in my shoes and they haven't seen me naked, so there. I know I am am doing good and I just don't understand why people are so darn rude. One minute, I am too fat; now I am too skinny. I just am having a bad weekend. Thanks for listening.

By the way my co-workers tell me I am like Mary Kate Olsen with a coffee in hand......I am twice her size and that is just not fair to compare me to her.

Kelly · 03-20-2005, 07:10 PM

Oh Dale...I am sorry to hear you sad & frustrated. You look wonderful & healthy. Just ignor them. As long as you feel good. If your comfortable loosing more weight I say GO FOR IT! Whatever...no one who has not been obese before will EVER understand! Hope you feel better later today or tomorrow.

Lori K · 03-20-2005, 07:19 PM

Dale,
I hear the same thing from many people. When I asked my PCP about it he said that I need to realize that I am at a normal weight and people aren't used to seeing me that way.
I just tell them that I am now at a normal weight and it may or may not stop the comments but the bottom line is....I'm very happy with my weight loss and being able to wear small clothes. It's fun!!!!
Enjoy and be happy with your success. You are a normal weight...(assuming you are not 6 ft. tall)
Take care,
Lori
5/10/04 Dr. C
259/133/130

Lynne38 · 03-20-2005, 07:33 PM

Dale,
I know exactly what you are saying. I find it hard to find family and friends that actually support weight loss by GBP surgery. I found it hard pre-op and definitely post-op. Forget about it if anyone has never been overweight. I am only 4 weeks post-op but I rally know what you are saying. You are not too skinny you are different than people are use to and maybe they just don't want you to look better than they do! hahaha

Blueyz · 03-20-2005, 08:14 PM

Thanks for the support. I really needed to hear it from my wls friends. I am only 5' 2", so 125 is normal for me. You all made me smile knowing I have people on my side.

Meaghan · 03-20-2005, 08:20 PM

Oh Dale,

Having just met you I can't make a real comparison... but you are absolutely beautiful - inside and out! Just take what they say in stride. People say the most idiotci things.. you know what is right for you and you have to feel so much better, so just remember that. I'm sorry people are making you feel bad - you deserve only the best compliments and well wishes!

lealphachienne · 03-21-2005, 08:41 AM

Michelle Qwan is 5'2 and weighs 109 lbs. I don't think any one thinks she's too skinny. She is gorgeous and muscular. I'm an inch taller and I've been getting the same comments since I hit 150 lbs! Depends on who comments, but I generally tell them that I'm healthy and that's all that matters. My husband doesn't mind that I'm a tiny, little thing

watergirl · 03-21-2005, 08:43 AM

Being with you on Saturday, you look great! Do what you feel is right for you and try to ignore those people that say things like that. You are no way anorexic sp? You look healthy! You radiate sunshine!

Do what's right by you and no one else!

Christina · 03-21-2005, 08:54 AM

I am sorry you had a bad weekend. You have to realize that your family and friends are just concerned about you. They love you and have to adjust to the "new you" as much as you do. I think sometimes it is hard for those who haven't been there to truly understand the process. They see you melting away and just don't realize that one day the weight loss will stop and you will be just fine. Just give them some time too. Others may be jealous.. so that is their monkey not yours.

Keep your chin up.. you look amazing.. I love ya girl..

JohnsWife4Life · 03-21-2005, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lealphachienne

Michelle Qwan is 5'2 and weighs 109 lbs. I don't think any one thinks she's too skinny. She is gorgeous and muscular. I'm an inch taller and I've been getting the same comments since I hit 150 lbs! Depends on who comments, but I generally tell them that I'm healthy and that's all that matters. My husband doesn't mind that I'm a tiny, little thing

One thing we have to remember though. If we weigh 120 pounds, and at 5 feet one or two that is a normal weight. Here is the thing though. I learned this because at 108 pounds I never wore a size 4. In fact at 108 pounds I wore a size 7. Today I can wear a size 4, 6, and 7. My favorite pants are size 9 and I cannot fasten them yet. My family and friends also thought I needed to stop losing weight. I also thought that. Here is why. 120 pounds is normal okay, but if you take away my pannus, would I be underweight. I think so yes. I think when we stop losing weight just above our goal, that is the reason. We no longer have weight to lose, just skin. People dont see the pannus, unless you are one that doesn't care if your flab hangs over your pants. I myself find that disgusting and wont do it. When people say stop losing weight they see something we don't. They see a thin person but they don't see the pannus. We see the pannus, and we see the scale is still more than we want. But how much is the pannus. If the pannus was gone, would you still be wanting to lose more weight?

I gained 10 pounds and everyone told me how great I looked at this weight, and not too thin. Of course I want to go back down to 120 pounds, but I still have a 20 pound pannus. Where would I be without it? That is why they think you are too skinny Dale. My doctor told me I was too skinny, and he was worried now. He told me not to lose any more weight. He sees me skinny and doesnt see the hidden pannus.

I am having a problem in my marriage right now, and I don't know if we can work it out. I love my husband with all my heart, but I am not willing to crawl back into that same life that got me here to begin with. I cannot do that, I will not do that. I don't expect or want to live to be one hundred, but I do want to live while I am alive. I LIVE! I want to live a life I once thought was impossible. I want John by my side, but I am still going with or without him. He can jump on or jump off. I told him yesterday, if he wants to keep us alive he better start wooing me. I made a decision. I am going out and about, if he wants to keep me he better work, because someone is gonna want me, if I find someone that makes me want to get naked with them, it is over for John. John told me he liked the weight on. I wasn't sure if he meant the ten pounds or the total weight from before. I really didn't want to know. I know my husband loves me and would do anything for me, I just don't think he understands that the chair no longer has my name on it. I had to threaten divorce just to get him out of the house over the weekend. I don't want to live like that anymore. He isn't fat at all, but he has spinal stenosis, I know it is very painful, but life in pain or no life and still have pain. I couldn't take the activity because I couldn't breathe, but the pain never stops me.

Okay well I guess I am done here. Sorry.

Hugs,

Traci