Ever happy with results? - ThinnerTimes

botchy · 03-09-2005, 07:48 PM

Hi, I'm new here. 26 year old female and 6 months post op. I'm not a member of any support groups local or on-line and don't talk with anyone much about my results except my hubby, but here's one he can help with. I've hit my target and then 20 more. At the beginning of Jan. when I reached my target I set a new goal of 30 more lbs and joined the gym. I'm loving it btw! So now I have 10 more to go and I feel like I should be very satisfied, but I look in the mirror and think "Ten lbs isn't gonna do it!" My body is so different than it was in college, which is the last time I was wearing the pants I put on today. I look so much bigger now at 145 than I did then. I don't have unrealistic expectations. I know I'll never bee a size 2! I'm 5' 9"!, but I'm just not happy with the size ten that I was DREAMING about six months ago. Plus the skin on my tummy hips and bottom is so depressing. My husband doesn't understand how I can be dissatisfied at this point, and to be honest I wonder that too, but I can't seem to help it. Anyone else out there?

Dara · 03-09-2005, 08:01 PM

Oh my dear botchy, you have come to the right place. There's a plethora of extra skin on this site. When you have extra time, read all of the posts. Those of us who are either at goal or close to goal have lots of angst about our "melting candle" bodies. We can totally relate to your feelings. Basically, the choice for most of us is either melting candle syndrome or looking like a road map of PS scars. Please be assured you've come to the right place. There will be lots of responses to your post.

Welcome!

Americanwoman397 · 03-10-2005, 07:57 AM

Wow this is a very good post if I say so myself. This is something I'm dealing with in Therapy right now as we speak. I'm still about 50lbs from my goal. I have about 10lbs of skill I would say between my arms, tummy and thighs. You know something I figured out about me was that I'm not happy looking in the mirror because I think this is what everyone else see but that's not true. Ask yourself do you look good in clothes? I can honestly say I think I look very cute in clothes. That is what everyone else sees and for most of us we worry about what everyone else thinks. I promise you that skin looks a lot better now with nothing behind it than it did 6 months ago with all that fat pushing it out. I know this is the hardest part of it all when we start getting to our goals and are still not happy. I'm looking at it in a whole new light the only person who sees it all is the one who sees you in the nude and that person loved us at 300lbs so I'm sure they are going to eat us up at 160.

I hope this helps a little but remember you have to be happy with you.

bridgetgirl · 03-10-2005, 09:03 AM

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The advice I got was to " Quit looking/staring at myself in the mirror." Simple remedy huh? Just keep your head up and remember how phenomenal of a woman you are and how far you have come. Think of how healthy you are, how strong you are, how you have added years to your life, and will ultimately have a better quality of life.
Instead of thinking how things look bad, do positive reinforcement with positive thoughts! Your beautiful. I dont even know you to know that you are stunning, Im sure you keep hearing that, now its time for you to believe it!

Skin is just skin, its your shell. Is the skin just nasty looking in your eyes or is it uncomfortable and interfering with daily activities. If either are the fact, there are options available to have the extra stuff removed. But plastic surgery isnt always the answer we are looking fo either. I had a Tummy Tuck and Thigh Lift in October, the TT is okay, the thighs have the most gnarly scar, being on the beach with this scars for the next couple of years is going to embarassing.... I will be in board shorts for sure. So no matter what without all the extra leg skin, Im still having to cover up.

My suggestion is change your perspective. Do daily affirmation, tape them to the mirror in your bathroom (thats what I do) remember your strengths not your imperfections.

I am so glad to have you here on the board! great thing for you to talk about... keep it coming. Were here for you. BTW where do you live?

MaryClipper · 03-10-2005, 10:51 AM

Great post Bridget, I couldn't have said it better, the only thing I can add is...No you don't look like you did in college. None of us do or ever will. You are recovering from a disease (Morbid Obesity) that takes its toll on us both physically and mentally. None of us come out of it unscathed. We have extra skin, stretch marks, scars, and mental challanges. Many need reconstructive surgery. I hope that you didn't go into this thinking that you would reclaim the body from your youth. That is an unrealistic expectation.

What you were given is a second chance for health and life. List the things that you couldn't do before and can now. How has this made your life better. Keep going to the gym for your health and well being, but like Bridget said, take the focus off the mirror and put it on the woman you are.

We love ya.

lealphachienne · 03-10-2005, 03:26 PM

Hey, I like looking at my self in the mirror. I'm more amazed than disgusted with my body. Yes, it's not a supermodel body, but I still like it better than being morbidly fat. I caress that skin daily and feel how strong the muscle beneath it is. Granted, I don't have a whole lot of saggy skin that causes rashes and such. I would like a boob job, though

When I was thin in high school, I still hated myself. When I got fat, I had promised myself that whenever I got skinny again, I won't hate my body anymore. Now it's here. I flaunt it. I wear backless and strapless outfits. I wear low rise jeans. So what if my flab rolls out a bit. I'm proud of all the hard work that I've done to get me to where I'm at. Besides, it's dark in the nightclubs and everyone's drunk

bridgetgirl · 03-10-2005, 03:52 PM

Thats an awesome way of looking at things...

watergirl · 03-10-2005, 06:06 PM

I so aspire to become comfortable with my body. Thank you so much for providing a possible self-talk for me. I really appreciate it!

I know from past weight loss experiences, I was never happy with the finished product.

Anne · 03-10-2005, 08:00 PM

Marie, I love that attitude!!!!

Blueyz · 03-10-2005, 08:02 PM

I love the fact that I can go anywhere now and people treat me differently. What they don't realize is that I am a fat girl living inside a thin body. I will NEVER forget where I came from. Life is so great and I love my skin and bones. It sure beats being morbidly obese.