I miss you all... - ThinnerTimes

JennaM · 03-04-2005, 01:36 PM

I still haven't gotten a keyboard for my comp. I still check in everyday, but I so miss being an active part of the board. I'm sad and depressed and I* don't know why. I'm crying and staying in bed way too much. I'ts easy to do since I don't work, Gavin can go to preschool, Don's at work. when they come home I try to act like I'm ok. I'm not. I'm registered to start school April 5. to be a surgical technologist. I am so scared. I haven't been to school in over 10 yrs, haven't worked but 4 months in the last 4 years. I was excited at first about going back to school, now all the self-doubt and shit is taking over. I hope that putting this out here will help, also I'm having a hard time eating. Just don't want to. I passed out Monday and twisted my knee pretty good. I'm tired of pretending I'm ok. I know this will pass, I've been here (sad) before. Thanks for listening.

watergirl · 03-04-2005, 01:39 PM

I've missed you too! Oh my gosh! I had no idea you were going through this. I'm so sorry! I hope school helps brings you out of this funk you're in.

I believe that getting things out is cleansing.

I've got you in my thoughts and prayers!

MaryClipper · 03-04-2005, 01:51 PM

Jenna,
Your weight loss is fantastic, you are doing great!

Now, here comes the mother speach.... don't suffer with depression, there is NO reason to. You have health insurance, get in to your PCP or therapist if you already have one and tell them the same thing you have told us. There is no reason to suffer and wait for this to pass. You should be enjoying your new life and newly emerging body. Go get the medical help you need. If you had any other medical problem you wouldn't wait, right?

Hang in there sweetie, I can't wait to see you again.
Mary

Christina · 03-04-2005, 02:07 PM

Jenna,

I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hoping your day gets brighter.. even as it rains..

What you are going through is totally normal. If you ever need to talk you can call me any time. I am not far from you.. if you want to get together and go to get frozen yogart with Rain or something let me know. That would be a lot of fun.

Like Mary said, you should see a therapist if you are able to. Hang in there kiddo you will be fine. As far as school goes, I understand how nervous you are. I am in school as well. Are you going to Glendale College for that? If so I went threre several years ago and wasn't able to finish because I was in a car accident and had to have surgery.. they wouldn't even let me post pone my internship for the future class which really ticked me off. However, I got through the classroom part and most of the OR training with a 4.0 so if you need help let me know. I will see if I can find my old books and paperwork if you want? It is a tough class but well worth it. I wish I could go back for it, but I am still paying that student loan off and I can't afford another 15 thousand dollars..

03-04-2005, 02:32 PM

Hi Jenna,

I am sorry for your blues!!! You know I am only a hop skip and a jump away!?!?

We can hang out and stuff. When the weather gets better we can go swimming in our new bodies and get them into better shape (I have a new pool, very private) For now, we can go with Christina for s/f yogurt. Lots of things to do to help you out.

One more thing. When I was about your age, (boy, I sound ancient) anyway, when my kids were young and I had zero life or self confidence among other physical ailments. I acquired a mental condition that included agoraphobia. That is the fear of leaving the house. It was mild but it affected me and I became depressed and stuff. I began college (nervously)and it took me 8 years to graduate witha degree in Interior Design. I learned I could do something valuable. It wasn't easy, I had to push through my fears and STUFF. I also had the help of a proffesional counselor who helped me to regain the life I had lost.

F.Y.I. I don't tell many people this story, I guess it is such a small part of who I am now and I almost feel embarrassed that I let myself get into such a slump. But, I share it with you, my friend, with the hopes you will see yourself in the near future with the life you desire for yourself.

Call me!!!

Rain

03-04-2005, 02:37 PM

Jenna,

If you still need a keyboard, I think I can get you one for $0.00 nada!!

you want??

R

bridgetgirl · 03-04-2005, 02:48 PM

I love you, I love you, I love you. You need some girlfreind time... we gotta hook up!

pambragg · 03-04-2005, 03:37 PM

Jenna bean,
I am sorry that you are depressed, it really sucks. I've been thru a couple bouts since WLS and it's not pleasant. Just know that it will pass soon and focus on how far you have come. I love you bunches and if you need to talk give me a call. Big hugs

Jeanie · 03-04-2005, 04:00 PM

I'm sorry that you are so down lately. I think once you get back to school you will be happy. I hope that things turn around for you soon. Maybe we all need another night out in good ole downtown!!

JohnsWife4Life · 03-04-2005, 04:23 PM

Yeah Jenna,

It sucks, but just remember this, you are about to jump into a new life, even different from the new life you began at surgery. You are going to be with people that never knew you before, you will begin to look forward to getting up and getting back into a life you almost thought was over. It will be grand! I waited til my kids were older, my first three kids anyway. When I went to Bryman College for the Medical Assistant course, I began to realize how smart I was, and how long it had been since I had used my brain. I aced every test, 100% through the whole course. I missed one point on a mispelled word, not a termonology word, but a word in my definition. Separate, I spelled it seperate. I know that going back to school gave me great joy, and a feeling of success. I became obese during my last pregnancy, and so by the time I hit the RN program, I already felt like I was dying before I ever hit the hospital doors. But I did it, and tried to enjoy my nursing degree that was totally hampered by my obesity.

You are going to be opposite. I am so excited for you. You will on your journey, and living life! I can't express to you the joy that is just around the corner, and SUCCESS too, all that with a new body? Yipee!

Get busy doing medical stuff. Getting your supplies. Maybe pick up your books, maybe a quick termonology book. I know that Bryman ripped me off by making me believe that I would be the same thing as a nurse, and by being a CNA, and EMT already, I knew everything in the program, I did learn a few new things. Giving injections, drawing blood, and doing an EKG, I knew everyting else. But the termonology was intense there. I had to learn 20 words a night, 4 nights a week for six months. Once I learned the basics, I was able to break down most medical words and at least know what it meant. It gave me the courage to proceed to the next level, to allow myself to be recognized as an intelligent human being, not just a wife and mother. However, wife and mother is My job, my first job, the most important job I have ever had, being a nurse is my second job, but it sure is nice to have a second job sometimes.

Hugs,

Traci