Having Trouble With My “New” Body – - ThinnerTimes

Baron Patrick · 09-26-2007, 09:19 AM

We all know one of the “side affects” of having WLS is our self-confidence increases exponentially as we lose weight. I’m no different. I love the attention I get from family and friends, and I love the way I look (sheesh, if there’s a mirror around, I’m checking myself out!)

HOWEVER

My family has informed my confidence has taken on a dark side. I’m more aggressive than ever, and don’t know when to quit when there is a disagreement. After some inner-focus, I can see they are right. My assertiveness is out of control. I can’t seem to find the balance. It used to be the little things would roll of my back, now, I make issue of it. Instead of “going with the flow”, I want to go against it, and do it my way (which always results in more problems for me.)

I’m having trouble accepting the “new” physical me, and it’s affecting my personality. Like I said, I love the attention, but I’m not used to it, and I have to admit, the attention does make me feel uncomfortable. Does that make sense?

I don’t have my fat to hide behind anymore!

It’s a weird feeling - people now notice me whereas before, I felt invisible. Quite an oxymoron - a big fat guy is invisible, but when he loses a significant amount of weight he becomes noticed!

Can anyone offer suggestions / advise on how I can get a handle on this?

Toony · 09-26-2007, 09:39 AM

I think your "aggressiveness" is due to years of pent-up invisibility and letting things roll off your back!

: )

I'm older than you... the world better watch out for me post-op! LOL!

Love ya Pat... you'll get a grip on this!!!!

katie

LisaBoston · 09-26-2007, 10:38 AM

We still see ourselves as the same person. Others see us different, because they see the outside and maybe they didn't get close to us enough before to really see the inside. That being said, we do become more confident and regardless of how much we don't want to change on the inside - we do. We finally fit in with others, although in many ways I don't see myself fitting into their world...I still live in my world.

I guess my only advice is to look at how you are behaving, has it changed? Is it the person you want to be...if it is, don't let others tell you how you are "supposed" to be. If there are things that you don't like, well its up to you to make the change.

In our life we examine what we eat, how we eat so this is no different....

J & D · 09-26-2007, 07:02 PM

Pat:
You know you are going through a major transformation right now and it may take some guidance from a good councelor. Dorene and I went to a psychologist just before we had the surgery with our out of control daughter. We were helped more than our daughter at the time. I now reflect back at what he said and I make changes as I go. Dorene and I had surgery the same day as you and we are adjusting things as we go. We are differant now and that in it self takes time to get use too. Don't let it affect your marriage or any other part of your life Pat. If you need it get some outside help.

Take Care Pat
We will lift you up in prayer!!!

lealphachienne · 09-26-2007, 07:59 PM

It can also be simpler than a personality change....your fat cells are releasing pent up testosterone at a high rate. Men can become aggressive or overly assertive during the initial rapid weigh loss phase...women get depressed as a result of the extra estrogen...or get pregnant!

rgbmom1 · 09-27-2007, 12:00 AM

Outside help. See a councilor they arent too expensive and if you find one you like they can really add to this experience.
Good luck, health and happiness

SDeRossett · 09-27-2007, 02:19 AM

Here's a suggestion. In response to your aggresiveness, ask your wife to be your mentor. My husband and I went through several months of marriage counseling with our pastor prior to our marriage. One of the things he said was to pick your fights. You've recognized the fact that you are taking things too far, so have your wife give you the "look" and head shake or a finger to the lips as a visual sign that that's enough. After all, losing friends and family over trivial things is just not worth it. Agree to disagree and let it go. Then later if it's still bothering you discuss it with your wife. Afterall, everyone has a right to their own opinions, right wrong or indifferent. Anyway, just a thought. Hope you have a great day! Oh yeah, congratulations on your weight loss so far.

Sharon

Squishy · 09-27-2007, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lealphachienne

It can also be simpler than a personality change....your fat cells are releasing pent up testosterone at a high rate. Men can become aggressive or overly assertive during the initial rapid weigh loss phase...women get depressed as a result of the extra estrogen...or get pregnant!

Marie,
I'm puzzled by this. Two different doctors have told me that all fat cells produce estrogen, so the more fat you have, the more estrogen is in your body (whether you are male or female). Your first statement makes a lot of sense. If a man's body produces more testosterone after rapid weight loss and having less fat means he is producing less estrogen, then he is bound to be more aggressive. It really seems that you identified a probable cause of Pat's new found aggressive behavior.

The part that I am confused about is the effect on women. When women lose a lot of fat, according to my doctors, they produce less estrogen, not more. Obviously, I don't own the equipment so I am not an expert. I'm just repeating what the doctors said.

Any thoughts on this?

Thanks,
-Mike-

Debz · 09-27-2007, 05:28 AM

Women may produce less estrogen after losing weight, but all that estrogen that has been stored in the fat cells is released...

lealphachienne · 09-27-2007, 07:32 AM

Both sexes have both hormones in varying amounts. It's not a change in production of the hormones. It's the storage and release of hormones from the cells with weight loss. Excess hormones are stored in the fat cells. When the fat cells release their energy into he blood stream, the hormones go there too. Can you imagine how much extra hormones we have stored up when your MO?

That's my biochemistry lesson for the day

On the mental note......we all go through this crazy emotional phase. Mine lasted a good months....then again.....I also had a ton of crap to wade through. It's a balance between the body, mind, and soul to overcome these challenges. We are literally transforming ourselves. If your not ready for a transformation, you will end up back where you started.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squishy

Marie,
I'm puzzled by this. Two different doctors have told me that all fat cells produce estrogen, so the more fat you have, the more estrogen is in your body (whether you are male or female). Your first statement makes a lot of sense. If a man's body produces more testosterone after rapid weight loss and having less fat means he is producing less estrogen, then he is bound to be more aggressive. It really seems that you identified a probable cause of Pat's new found aggressive behavior.

The part that I am confused about is the effect on women. When women lose a lot of fat, according to my doctors, they produce less estrogen, not more. Obviously, I don't own the equipment so I am not an expert. I'm just repeating what the doctors said.

Any thoughts on this?

Thanks,
-Mike-