Venting the struggle - ThinnerTimes

LisaM · 09-21-2007, 07:35 AM

I am really struggling this morning with despair. My clothes are tight... I'm gaining weight. I'm dealing with depression. I started the Lexapro two weeks ago, and I know it hasn't had time to work yet... but I'm afraid it's part of why I'm gaining. And I hate feeling fat again... I hate my clothes feeling tight again. I hate the part of me that can't seem to stop grazing. I hate the way I feel. I hate the fact that the Lexapro isn't helping me feel better yet, even though I know I haven't given it time. I hate the "it's darkest before the dawn," thing, because that's where I feel like I'm stuck. Like a fly in a spiderweb, struggling forever in the dark. I know I'm being overdramatic, and I don't freaking care. I am NOT having a good day today. Sorry.

porshh951 · 09-21-2007, 07:48 AM

Im sorry to hear you are struggling. We've all been there and had our bad days. I don't know what else to say otherthan you are one of the people on this board I hold in high regard and try and keep tabs on.

Try and find something or someone uplifting and get your mind off of what its on now. Shock it with fun or something drastic to help you thinking about positive things and a new way to go about your day tomorrow.

Tomorrow is always ALWAYS a new day.

(hugs)

Teenieleenie · 09-21-2007, 08:25 AM

Lisa I know I'm new to the board, but I have to tell you that you are one of the people that I have admired from the get go. You've been a positive influence on this forum and have helped many, many people with their weight loss journey.

You know what it's like to be so overweight, that it's hard to function. You made a huge decision with the WLS and it paid off. Now you just have to get your mind set back to the basics to start feeling good about it again. (I know, easier said than done)

I'm rooting for you and if there is anything I can do, just pick up the phone and call me. As for Lexapro, I was on it for a long time and it worked miracles for me. Hang in there, we're all here for you.

OsoDelDesierto · 09-21-2007, 09:22 AM

Lisa, I'm not in a position to give any advice or make helpful suggestions, but I am sending you love and support as you deal with this. You are an inspiration to many of us and your struggles also help us learn to deal with our own - I know it sucks to go through them, but thank you for posting this for us. You are in my good thoughts and prayers.

In recovery groups, one often hears "this too shall pass", which is incredibly irritating when one hears it (sorry to be the irritant!), but always true in retrospect...

LyndasRoom · 09-21-2007, 09:25 AM

You're on the precipice of climbing out of the dark. Hang in there...{{{{LISA}}}}

rainrain · 09-21-2007, 09:35 AM

Lisa,
The best advice I can give you is to ease up on your self a bit and let go of the stress you are putting upon your self.

The grazing happens to all of us.
If you are gonna eat than choose healthy foods like nuts, celery, carrots, jerky...at least take care of your body with nutriton....it happens to all of us...we need to accept this as part of the journey!!
much love and hugs going out to m sistah!!!

Claire-in-Texas · 09-21-2007, 09:54 AM

Lisa,

Depression is serious and crippling. I have had serious bouts with depression in my life, and it totally paralyzed me from taking action to get out of my despair. So I understand how you feel more than I can ever explain here.

Do I have any answers? No. I just want you to know that you are not alone, and that you don't have to be perfect all the time to be loved and respected and appreciated.

I am glad you felt safe enough here to vent. I hope you are comforted and validated by the loving responses you are receiving.

LisaBoston · 09-21-2007, 10:05 AM

((hugs))) Lisa. Gosh this is a tough one. Our bodies go through so many struggles and changes. I too say, you are not alone. The last few weeks I feel that I can eat almost anything and want to graze. I just had to kick myself and get back on track..its SO hard, but you can do it too. You are going through a lot at home and taking new meds doesn't help any either. Hand in there sweetie...coming here is the best step.

Jeri · 09-21-2007, 10:34 AM

((((Lisa)))) Hang in there with the Lexapro. It takes time to work but it will be worth it once it kicks in. I live with depression so I do understand the feelings you are expressing. It is horrible and I wish I could fix it for you and me. I'm glad you have a safe place to come to so you can talk about it.

Jeri

Gladitsme · 09-21-2007, 11:24 AM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lisa}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} It's not surprising that you're struggling with depression. Honey, you've gone thru massive changes in your life. It's ok to be where you are, and be as dramatic as you need to! SSRI's cause carb cravings for me, and Lexapro is one. But it works really well. Just don't take any extended release formula -- they go thru your body before you can metabolize it. (Learned that one the hard way!!) We're all here for you.