nightmare - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

janine · 09-14-2007, 02:28 PM

I have about a month before my surgery and it is waying heavily on my mind. It's the second surgery date this year because as some of you know the first was cancelled by my surgeon. In any Event, I'm having a problem with my dreams.. for the past week I've been really tired... I don't know why but I'm feeling a bit depressed or just very tired in the morning. So, I've been going back to bed after I drive my Son to school and after my husband leaves for work. I don't usually do this but I just feel like I can, so I do... Weird but It's been 4 days of this and I've got to get out of this new routine. I'm rambling so I'll cut to the chase...

I've been having this dream about taking care of someone elses child... (My kids are 16, 19, 23) The child is about 7 and a boy, quiet and withdrawn, he appears and disapears in the dream...Anyway, My husband and I go on a vacation and we end up very high in elevation by elevator (kind of like a tower) and when we get to the top... I look over the railing and my knees get very weak... I don't fall but the back of my knees are stinging with pain. My husband takes me by the hand and sais, "We're just getting started, You wanted to do this!, The walk has just begun." I look down and in my hand is a pamphlet that shows a narrow bridge we will have to walk out on to take an awsome picture of some beautifull water fall and scenary... So, I begin the walk but as I enter the bridge... My knees buckle and As I'm looking at the pamphlet I faint... I wake up to feeling like such a fool... People looking at me... My husband is so embarrased and I feel so ashamed. I emagine to myself that I am still obese and and have a hard time getting on my feet and my back begins to hurt. Then, next thing I know I'm on my hands and knees crawling so I can make it to the scenary where I can take a picture... all the people disapear along with my husband and I am totally on my own but I have to struggle to stand up... and when I finally stand up... the little boy is there again holding my hand and says, "It's time to go down..." I see a tunnel and I know I'll never fit in the tube... It's a slide with water, like a slip and slide but I am assured by the guard that I will stretch if I get stuck... I'm terrrified but I sit with the boy in front of me and begin my decent... as I glide down the tube I shrink.. untill finally the tube narrows and I shrink down to fit. and then... splash... The boy disapears and I am left alone on yet another bride stairing out at the tube and the old bridge above... watching others splash... My knees and back don't hurt anymore... But I'm alone... I'm thin and alone...

I guess this means I have some fears about what will happen after the surgery and my life will change. I also fear loosing my husband in the process. The swap -- being healthy for a new life... I know my life will change but I hope I don't end up alone...

I wander if anyone else had this feeling or am I the only one.

(my spelling's probably horrible but I can't run the spell check, lol!)

MiladyB · 09-14-2007, 07:05 PM

Well what I can tell you is that I am having plastic surgery next week and I've been having weird dreams of my own and they haven't been pleasant ones. I think it is all part of our anxiety about surgery and it is coming out in our dreams.

OsoDelDesierto · 09-14-2007, 10:40 PM

Hi Janine, I'm glad to see you here on Thinner Times - it's a great forum with a lot of wonderful, supportive, informative people!

I'm sorry you've been having nightmares, but it sounds like you've got a pretty good explanation for the reason. This can be a scary, anxious time for our conscious minds, let alone our subconscious ones, so the dreams are probably common for many pre-ops. I hope they let up soon for you...

For those TTers who don't know, Janine and I are both in Tucson and we not only share our present surgeon, Dr. Hilario Juarez, but also our former surgeon, Dr. Monte Schwartz, who cancelled our surgeries at different times, for different reasons...

janine · 09-15-2007, 12:19 AM

I talked the dream out with my husband... He assured me that I won't be alone... He will be there and doesn't plan on going anywhere. It was nice to hear that... thank you for all the encouragement. I am anxious and scared of the unknown, But who really knows what will happen in life, I just have to make the choices that I can honestly say, "It will matter five years from now" my health and well being is important and I should do the right thing.

thanks again...
Janine

LyndasRoom · 09-15-2007, 11:35 PM

Janine,
I just wanted to welcome you. I am amazed at this vivid dream, and that you remember it! I think it's very symbolic of the journey you are about to take. It's great that you talked about it with your hubby, and that he's fully on board! It's perfectly normal to feel the anxiety you are feeling, on either the conscious or subconscious level. I didn't have weird dreams til I got the drugs AFTER the surgery!