Irritated with a Friend - ThinnerTimes

I_love_Hello Kitty · 08-10-2007, 06:23 PM

My daughter seems to have inherited my gene for excess weight and food addiction...she's only 7...and only slightly overweight, but I fear she will fall into my life pattern with weight/eating issues. Now that I am having the gastric bypass, I am really focusing on making sure she is eating healthy and exercising more...so she will lose weight too. She plays soccer, does gymnastics etc. I want to give her food that will keep her satisfied for longer periods of time..I just want to try and teach her some good habits if I can...its so stressful!

Yesterday for lunch I made her 1/2 PB sandwhich with a little jelly on whole wheat toast, with madarin oranges (in juice), grapes and baby carrots. She enjoyed it. I was proud of making the effort and plan on continuing...eliminating fast food...and trying to incorporate as few processed foods as I can, and more fruits and veggies where I can (she doesn't like ANY vegetables but lettuce!).

When I told a good friend of mine what I made...she commented "just so you know...that's all sugar! " She does Atkins...and mentioned that those foods are all prohibited until "stage 2" or whatever...

I mean...my daughter is 7...what am I supposed to feed her? She is a child...not an adult who should be eating no sugar or carbs, right? Who ever got fat eating fruit and carrots...or a reasonable portion of a sandwhich on WW bread? It was so discouraging...sometimes I don't know what to do. I seriously panic over my daughter following in my footsteps...and each meal she eats I find myself worrying...I haven't mentioned being fat to her...I just tell her that I want us all to eat healthy and be strong...she gets that.

So is the revised food plan I gave my daughter for lunch really bad???? I felt like my friend was raining on my parade....it was discouraging.

Does anyone else have problems with weight issues with their children?

Gina in NY · 08-10-2007, 07:07 PM

My son is 12 and is terribly over weight. He is as tall as I am, but weighs more than I do at this point. He has gotten a lot of flack at school about it and we all know how that feels. I struggle to find a balance with him - I want to make him eat right, eat less, but I don't want to be weighing and controlling everything either - he's a smart kid and he's almost a teen. He will only rebel if I push, so I too talk about being healthy. I tell him about diabetes in his family - I tell him he is in control and on and on. (All these really positive things my mom never said to me) I insist on certain things - no soda when we go out - eat the dinner cooked before trying anything else.

But honestly - he's not losing an ounce. He wants to - he really wants to - but he just can't make himself do the right thing. I am so worried about him and don't really know what to do. I take him with me on bike rides, send him to vigorous camp, and he's going to start football this year. I just pray something works.

Now my almost 4 year old is a little bit heavy, but not so you'd call her a fat kid - just a little tummy. She's at gymnastics - runs around like crazy - it makes me nuts!

As you can imagine, we have NO junk in the house. I don't understand. Not one potato chip - not one cookie or anything even like that. I mean, if I let her steal my SF jello it is a total treat for her. I am so amazed that my kids could get heavy on nothing but whole grain pasta and lean meats!

Anyway - I think your lunch is great. Atkins people are weird and destined to fail anyway - I think we all know that. You'd never put a 7 year old on atkins!!

You're doing well - I hear your struggle and I'm impressed that you can get her to eat well. That is really good. I wish I'd started earlier with my son - but I'd done the damage by the time I had the surgery. I just hope my daughter will not suffer the same fate...

I_love_Hello Kitty · 08-10-2007, 09:47 PM

Thanks for that! (and for backing me up on the lunch I made) I know there are other people in the same boat. Its so hard.

Most kids eat a little and then they're done...no food issues...like my son who is 4 is very lean...but I feed them the same foods...only she enjoys them more...and is always asking for more! It certainly demonstrates to me the genetics aspect.

We used to have more junk in the house..but as I am getting closer to surgery I have been revising what we bring in the house....no sugary snacks...whole wheat bread...lower fat meats...1%milk...fruit...
I look at my daughter and I feel pain inside (totally projecting from my childhood)...and wish she could get slimmer.....well...I'm working on it....

2Bhealthy · 08-10-2007, 09:50 PM

I can really relate to this dilema. My 10 yr. old is 5' 3" and 109lbs. I find myself obsessing with HIS weight. It is summer and he has put on a few pounds. He is not technically overweight so I must keep myself from bugging him and giving him a complex. So I searched google to get better idea about how much he should be eating and found this neat tool, the portion plate! Check it out. They have one for kids and adults. Let me know what you think!

http://www.theportionplate.com/kidsplate.html

I_love_Hello Kitty · 08-10-2007, 10:06 PM

I like that...I might consider ordering one.

But does a 70 lb kid get the same portion as a 100lb kid? I guess its just a guideline...and gives you a visual idea of the ratios of the various types of food on your plate...i,e, fruit and veggies are 1/2 your meal.

Livin' La Vida Lori · 08-10-2007, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gina in NY

As you can imagine, we have NO junk in the house. I don't understand. Not one potato chip - not one cookie or anything even like that. I mean, if I let her steal my SF jello it is a total treat for her. I am so amazed that my kids could get heavy on nothing but whole grain pasta and lean meats!

I grew up in a house with vegeterian parents who were very health conscious. There was NEVER junk food in our house and it was VERY rare that we ever had dessert. We were very active (biking, hiking, rollerskating, etc). I grew up heavy, my younger brother grew up thin. Go figure.

porshh951 · 08-11-2007, 01:21 AM

just so you know atkins is a joke. Its never okay to eat tons of fat and care only about the carbs. Carbs are fine.

the meal you made her is just fine. Not one damn thing wrong with it. Trust your gut instincts they are serving you well.

Eseret · 08-11-2007, 05:50 AM

you're doing a great service to your kids by getting them on track eating healthy foods instead of junk food. They will learn by your example. That said, there was nothing wrong with what you served your daughter for lunch!

Your "friend" should not treat the Atkins diet as the Holy Grail. After all, didn't the founder die of a heart attack? (!)

There are many ways to serve kids delicious nutritious meals! If she likes salads, then shred a little carrot on top. Give her little bowls with some tiny veggies for her own salad bar. Let HER help you with cooking. Kids that age usually get a big kick out of helping.

You'll make it my friend and you're a wonderful Mom.

Teri

Gina in NY · 08-11-2007, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2Bhealthy

I can really relate to this dilema. My 10 yr. old is 5' 3" and 109lbs. I find myself obsessing with HIS weight. It is summer and he has put on a few pounds. He is not technically overweight so I must keep myself from bugging him and giving him a complex. So I searched google to get better idea about how much he should be eating and found this neat tool, the portion plate! Check it out. They have one for kids and adults. Let me know what you think!

http://www.theportionplate.com/kidsplate.html

That is one tall ten year old! But that weight sounds fine to me! I'm trying to get my son down to 120, but I have no idea how to get 50 pounds off a 12 year old other than some extreme boot camp thing...It may not be much, but he has stopped gaining for now. He gained about 15 pounds in the last year - I just don't know how he's doing it! and it REALLY freaks me out. I would do anything to help him. I bought a bike, send him to crazy fun camp, take him swimming.

The other thing I wanted to say was that when I was 7, I wasn't overweight. When I was 8 I was VERY overweight. Same exact thing happend to my son. Photos at 7 1/2 he was a model. By 8 - porker. Genetics means something, I know! I just hope and pray he doesn't end up needing the surgery I just had. I want him to conquer this on his own! Well - I'll help if I can, but you know what I mean.

BethBaugh · 08-11-2007, 06:16 AM

I think your friend is like one of my aunts. who means well but comes across as rude and hurtful. I am I guess one of those crazy people. I do live on low glycemic. Although the old Atkins is not what I adhere to. Nutrisystem, slimfast optima, suzanne somers, south beach and modified atkins are all based on the glycemic index. I basically use Suzanne somers rules. The point is that it takes insulin to store fat. Now...your child is in growing mode and does not need to be on a diet. But eating lots of sugar is not good for anyone as you know. Even natural sugars can overload the system and make your body produce lots of insulin. From my understanding this leads to insulin resistance and prediabetes. My daughters ped told me no juice. Studies show that even 100% fruit juice overloads the system.

I don't put kids on a diet but we all abide by the don't mix carbs (whole good carbs like whole fruits and whole grains) with fat or protein meals. So, if they have whole grain toast with no fat butter spray and no sugar added jam or fruit, it is as a separate snack at least 2 hours away from fats and protein. My youngest had started getting chunky looking when she broke her arm and had to quit gymnastics for awhile. She is now back looking normal for her just basically though not strictly following these rules and working out with me a few times a week. I am a Crazy Person according to most on here...but I think teaching my kids dietary guidelines is a good thing. I don't have to worry to much about bad fats because no transfat come into this house if I can help it and the daughter who needed the help is a vegetarian and actually eats "healthy" compared to most children anyway.

So...now you've heard from the Crazy People. Don't fret what other people think. It's about your sweetie. Learn and learn and live. There is nothing wrong with discussing this with your ped or a nutritionist but even they are not perfect. Do know that anything that is super restrictive is not for anyone especially for kids. MY kids eat fruit and whole grains just not with fats and protein.