Feeling small - tirade ahead - ThinnerTimes

Gina in NY · 08-04-2007, 06:39 PM

You know, ladies, this feeling small and therefore weaker as we lose weight seems to be a theme I'm hearing a lot of lately. And you know what - it is driving me crazy. I feel like this is huge for us as a sisterhood.

Feeling safe is SO important. Why do we equate small with weak? Are we really weaker than we were heavy? I mean, I know I am not - that is for sure. But even I must admit, I have felt more vulnerable. The fear of being overpowered is a new issue for me. I guess there is a part of me that never imagined anyone would want to overpower me - but now somehow I'm worth it? That is perverse...

Every woman has to deal with the fear of attack and abuse - no matter what size. It is just that we may have lied to ourselves for so long, we only thought we were safe. We weren't. I feel like we need to really start this conversation. We need to dig around here and help eachother out. It is complex. It is scary - but our entire gender deals with it. Surely we, the recently MO, can learn a few coping skills too?

What do you think?

Zenomia · 08-04-2007, 07:24 PM

This sounds like what I was talking about. The creepy, weird feeling of volnerability where there once was none. False sense of security? I dunno? I am still trying to figure it out. I did follow the advice of many on here....(thanks Gina, Lisa, Beth, and Marie....) and took my class to face my fear of the motorcycle...and guess what. I did fine. I didn't lay the bike down and I did learn to overcome my fear of it. It was amazing and inspirational. I don't know why I feel this fear, I don't know what has caused it, but I do know NOW, that it is something that can be overcome. You were all right...facing it head on was the only way...it's damn hard...but sooooo worth it in the end.

I feel better knowing it's a feeling that happens to others, not just me!! At least I am not the odd one out!

JenBear7 · 08-05-2007, 05:59 PM

More vulnerable.. hmm.. Do you think, that as MO, we think we are MORE invisible, because MOST people in society, are looking for the beautiful people? I know this sounds bad... dont take it that way. I was MO my entire life, and I personally never had an issue finding men that were attracted to MO, but really... in my mind, I felt like I could disappear in a crowd, because of that. Does that make sense? Now that you are smaller, you are more noticable..because you feel more desirable to the general population? Just a thought.. BUT.. I know that personally.. that being MO, makes me feel invisible to most men.

J & D · 08-05-2007, 07:05 PM

Just a Dad's two Cents!
Our 19 year old daughter decide to move out on her own. She lives about 1 mile from her work and walks to work at 3:30AM every morning Her mom and I were worried sick but you don't tell a teenage girl anything if you want to stay in good standing with them when they go out on there own. Well I work with the County Sheriff's office purchasing equipment for there patrol rides. I asked one of my friends in the Sheriff's office if there was anything I could get her so she would be protected. He told me where to get spray mace and how to use it. I bought 4 spray mace two to train with and two for her and her roommate to carry as they are out and about. She feels more protected and so does her roommate. Plus her Dad and mom still worry but at least know she can protect her self.

Just a Dad's ramblings

Jim

Blueyz · 08-05-2007, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J & D

Just a Dad's two Cents!
Our 19 year old daughter decide to move out on her own. She lives about 1 mile from her work and walks to work at 3:30AM every morning Her mom and I were worried sick but you don't tell a teenage girl anything if you want to stay in good standing with them when they go out on there own. Well I work with the County Sheriff's office purchasing equipment for there patrol rides. I asked one of my friends in the Sheriff's office if there was anything I could get her so she would be protected. He told me where to get spray mace and how to use it. I bought 4 spray mace two to train with and two for her and her roommate to carry as they are out and about. She feels more protected and so does her roommate. Plus her Dad and mom still worry but at least know she can protect her self.

Just a Dad's ramblings

Jim

Do you need a permit to carry mace?

J & D · 08-05-2007, 07:13 PM

"Do you need a permit to carry mace"

Here in Nevada you do not need a permit. You can buy it at Harbor Freight even but I bought the girls at a police supply here. Check with you local Sheriff's office for a answer and explain your fear.

Jim

Blueyz · 08-05-2007, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J & D

"Do you need a permit to carry mace"

Here in Nevada you do not need a permit. You can buy it at Harbor Freight even but I bought the girls at a police supply here. Check with you local Sheriff's office for a answer and explain your fear.

Jim

Thanks. I always wished that I could carry mace when my ex-husband kept coming around threatening to kill me. I knew he was sure of it when he assaulted me with a knife in front of my Dad. The Court just slapped his hand and let him go and said don't break the restraining order again.

I was told that I could not carry a concealed weapon in my purse and always wondered about mace. I will ask my freind who is a police officer.

knitsouth · 08-08-2007, 02:00 PM

I worked third shift when I was (a lot) younger and my parents were worried about me walking out into a dark parking lot. We couldn't carry mace at that time. I called the police station to see if there was anything I could carry to protect myself. The policeman told me to carry roach spray. It would not permanently harm anyone, but would sure burn eyes and throat enough for me to get away.

veroniquetalk · 08-09-2007, 07:29 AM

We can carry mace in Minnesota - that is what I have to "protect" myself. But, it is only good if you get the chance to use it and use it in a way that doesn't also mace yourself. I, personally, moved to what appears to be a safer area with a garage where I can go right to my apartment from my garage. Of course, this is the first time I have lived alone so I probably would have taken these steps before I lost weight if I had been living on my own then.

This thread is interesting because I know I am not as strong at lifting things as I used to be. For work I used to have to carry this very big portable screen and put it up at times. I can hardly carry it now where before it wasn't a struggle at all. And I need help to put it up where before I could do it myself.

One time I wanted to know how hard it would be to get out of a man's hold if he wouldn't let me go. Just to see how hard it would be. I had my husband hold me down while I tried to get loose. I used all of my strength but couldn't get loose. He, on the other hand, said he had used about 1/4 of his. It was very eye opening and scary. Had it been a real situation I would have been much more aggressive and tried things that might hurt the other person but still think it would be very hard to get out of a situation like that.

electrichoney · 08-10-2007, 11:33 AM

I found it so interesting, Veronica, that you could carry the screen easier when you were heavier than at the size you are now. You would think it would be easier to carry now, since you aren't hauling around a lot of extra body weight. How ironic!