Life is so freaking good... - ThinnerTimes

brutherford · 02-07-2005, 10:54 AM

Okay, here's my emotional rant for the week - I'll be travelling for work and won't have access to a computer, so I've got to purge all of this now!

I've dropped 14 lbs in the past two weeks!! OMG! I actually gained 5 during the 3 weeks that I attempted to quit smoking - PMS and lots of stress got me back on the cigarettes and the pounds have been dropping like crazy. I know it's because I'm not near as food-obsessed as I was without the cigarettes... of course I feel bad about starting again, but I'm trying not to beat myself up and thinking that I can try to quit again in another month or so... we'll see.
I wore my first size 9 jeans! OMG!! (Yes, there's going to be a lot of OMG's in this post!) Even though I feel like I still weigh a lot I've been getting SO many "skinny" comments from everyone at work. Unlike the comments that came a few months ago, I know that these are sincere and it feels SO COOL! One of the instructors here is about 6'1" and skinny as a rail - she came in last week, looked at me, and said, "You bi***! You're skinnier than me now!" I laughed and told her she was crazy, and only after I told her how much I weigh did she believe me. I'm about 20 lbs heavier than her, but I know that it doesn't look that way... How fantastic is this?!
I can't even believe it - I'm only 6 lbs from my goal... What the heck am I going to do with myself when I hit goal? It's weird because I've been fixated on my weight for my entire life - what do I do with myself when I have to put on the breaks and eat more to not go under weight? I'm going to do my best to not turn this into another thing to obsess about - I want to enjoy being at my goal and loving my new life!
BOYS - oh yeah! Short ones, tall ones, young ones, old ones... they're all good! It's very surreal to be the object of affection, but of course I'm loving it. The weird thing is that they're not asking me out... what's up with that? I understand the ones at work being hesitant - there's lots of rules to be aware of and it can get complicated. But outside of that? I know they're interested, I know that we have chemistry and connection - so why aren't they making any moves? Am I intimidating? Do I throw "don't talk to me" vibes out there? I don't know what the story is... however, I am grateful for the additional time to get my head straight because I feel so good and so darn randy that I could probably get myself into a lot of trouble! But seriously - those of you who've spent time with me: do you have any observations?

Okay - that should do me for the next few days. One final note - I LOVE you guys and gals! You all mean so much to me... It's hard to express in words.

Can't wait to party like rock stars after the meeting on 2/17 - I have the day after off too! YEEHAW!

MaryClipper · 02-07-2005, 11:19 AM

Barbara,
Most boys are chicken, if you are not sending CLEAR signals that you are interested in them they usually won't risk it. So if you are interested start practicing flirting

, if that doesn't work ask them out. I did with my husband, and we just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. Good luck and remember the flirting thing takes practice, just have fun with it.

Mary

brutherford · 02-07-2005, 11:37 AM

Thanks for the feedback! I think that part of the problem may be that I'm a BIG flirt - I just can't help it! I was before the weight loss and now that I can actually work it, I do.

So, I'm wondering if the guys think that I'm just like that with everyone, and if so, maybe I need to start just saying what it is that I want...

Guys: Would you be put off if a girl told you, "So, I like you, why don't you ask me out?"

brutherford · 02-07-2005, 11:45 AM

Yes, I could start asking guys out - I'm getting pretty close to that. However, the thing that's holding me back is the fact that I'm still getting used to the new me and I'm insecure. I'm afraid of rejection for every reason under the sun. It's actually working against me now with the guy thing - I've always made more male friends than female, and when I hang out with a male friend that I'm interested in and he doesn't make any moves I'm left with all the bad thoughts: "he doesn't like me because: I'm fat", "my face looks like Skeletor", "I wear glasses", "I have gray hair", "he can see the rolls of skin around my waist", blah blah blah...

Yes, I know it's ridiculous, but it's automatic.

Jeanie · 02-07-2005, 11:56 AM

Boys are scared by smart good looking women, and since you are both of those things they're afraid of you. If you REALLY REALLY like one special one ask him out. What the worst he can say?? (no)

, but then that would be his loss not yours. I know easy for me to say huh.

Dara · 02-07-2005, 11:57 AM

Barb:

Six friggin' pounds from GOAL??!?!!

How awesome is that?!? I'm so proud of you...you've done a wonderful job!

Just let the boys happen, dear. Remember, patience is a virtue. When you least expect it, good things are bound to happen.

Have fun on your working trip!

Americanwoman397 · 02-07-2005, 12:10 PM

Barbara

Girl let me start off by saying you are so pretty. You have such a warm and postive vibe around you. You are the most wonderful friend a person could ask for. I mean you let me vent off and on last week about everything and thanks to you I'm back to the forum and posting again.

Congrats on the weight loss I know its a wonderful thing. I'm having my Dr put me on a water pill because we thing the Paxil Cr is making my retain water like crazy.

On the smoking thing girl don't beat yourself up because I had one yesterday because of all the stress. I only had one but I don't like it either it just felt so relaxing and calmed me down. The way I look at it I'm working on all my issuses that I have and that's one I can work on later. I'm not eating bad things and I'm not drinking which makes me so happy.

Love you girl

watergirl · 02-07-2005, 12:27 PM

What Jeanie said! That's my observation!

bridgetgirl · 02-07-2005, 02:31 PM

Ive hung around your fine behind a few times... here's my take on it and then we can banter... cool beans! Now Im a screwball so dont take my advice as gospel! This is only my opinion!

First thing: asking a guy out... dont do it. I use to do it, Nothing good comes from it. I read a couple of books, first of one being "He's just not that into you." The long and short of it, if a man wants to know you, there is nothing he wont do to make that happen! I truly believe it, and I have let go of trying to "control" relations with men.. if they want me, come and get me. Im still friends with guys I have asked out, dont get me wrong it can work (frindships)... nothing ever "blossomed" for me I guess....However there are ways to make a man ask you out without you actually having to ask.... get the book from Jeanette.. or I have it, well I let Jeanie borrow it last... its awesome! You'll love it!

Okay now my take a guys and there reaction to you.. I use to think the same thing... "Im not ugly, I dont look broke, I dont look like a fool... I look strong, man are intimidated by that, blah, blah, blah..." crap.. all crap. You have been out with me a bunch of times and I dont have any problem meeting guys at all... and the difference is I TALK TO PEOPLE. I say hello all the time to everybody! Open up and say hi... ask a man YOU DONT KNOW to dance, ask if you can sit down next to someone... believe me my beautiful soul sister you would never be rejected (unless that mans women was sitting there and she's in the bathroom!) Take a chance... I think the only thing missing is courage. You know you are hot, now believe it... have the state of mind that any man would be honored just to have you as a friend, never mind as a lover. It's all in the attitude. I posted an article on here under emotional suppot regarding relationships... read it please. I did.. I printed a copy too..... chicken we are a work in progress.... unsatisfied without instant gratification... start talking to strangers, its not as bad as our mothers told us it was. (No matter what Gerry thinks

)

bridgetgirl · 02-07-2005, 02:34 PM

By the way chicken, congrats on losing those nasty 14 pounds.... and Im doing the happy dance for you in your size 9 jeans! Woo hoo! i cant believe until 6 more pounds until goal... thats amazing!