Helpful thoughts on self image - ThinnerTimes

MiladyB · 04-09-2007, 10:09 AM

In preparing for my next support group meeting I ran across this article. I found it really helpful. Since this whole issue of self-image is something that I have been struggling with lately I guess this article spoke to me on a very real level. I just thought I would share:

Learn a Better Post-Surgery Body Image.

Jeffrey R. Wilbert, Ph.D.

Q: I had gastric bypass surgery over a year ago and am now at my goal weight. I know I should be happy, but when I look in the mirror all I see is my old fat self. What's going on?

A: Even though your body may undergo significant transformation after surgery, psychological change may not occur as quickly. This is especially true for those who have been overweight for many years, or who may have never had a thin day.

Scientifically speaking, a mirror is flat plane that reflects light. But what we see in the mirror is far from an objective impression of how the light is reflected off the contours of our body. Rather, it is an interpretation of a visual stimulus, a subjective appraisal that is greatly influenced by our emotional state, our preconceived notions about ourselves, and our self-defeating "fattitudes." We've all had the experience of looking at ourselves one day, then looking again the next and swearing we've gained twenty pounds. Right? You know it's a physical impossibility, but there it is, seemingly right in front of you. However, what has changed is not your weight, nor is it the outline of your body; what's out of kilter is something internal.

A better way to define what you see in the mirror is that it's not a reflection of your body as much as it is a reflection of your body image. What's in the mirror is your self-esteem. It's your current mood state. It's your stress load. It's how you feel about what just happened a few minutes ago. These psychological things can fluctuate from one moment to the next, but our bodies cannot---so the image in the mirror says more about your inner feelings than it does about what you weigh. Because most gastric bypass patients have been overweight a long, long time, it's understandable that the inner changes may not happen as quickly as do the outer ones.

What to do about this? The task is one of self-acceptance, of working on synchronizing your inner and outer selves. Talking with other surgery patients about your feelings is usually helpful. In addition, journaling can be a powerful tool for self-expression and healing. Try writing a letter to your inner self, to that person who may still be hiding inside because the rapid change has been frightening. Rest assured, you're not alone with this struggle. Give yourself some time to grow and change on an emotional level. If you find yourself stuck, or if you begin to sabotage your weight loss progress, seek professional help.

Dr. Wilbert is a Dayton-area Clinical Psychologist and co-author of Fattitudes: Beat Self-Defeat and Win Your War with Weight (St. Martin's Press, 2000).

JenBear7 · 04-09-2007, 12:21 PM

It almost seems cruel doesnt it? That we have to commit inner-self image suicide, in order to get past the Old us.. and get on with the new us. I have already spent alot of time thinking about this.. Worrying about the sags that are ALREADY happening since I have been losing weight for the surgery. Its scares the bejesus out of me actually... that Im picking that apart.. so now.. I hate looking in the mirror because I am fat.. AND because.. Im losing weight and sagging.. I really do refer to it as killing my old self... gonna suffocate the witch...

With a satin covered pillow!

CeeCee · 04-09-2007, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenBear7

It almost seems cruel doesnt it? That we have to commit inner-self image suicide, in order to get past the Old us.. and get on with the new us. I have already spent alot of time thinking about this.. Worrying about the sags that are ALREADY happening since I have been losing weight for the surgery. Its scares the bejesus out of me actually... that Im picking that apart.. so now.. I hate looking in the mirror because I am fat.. AND because.. Im losing weight and sagging.. I really do refer to it as killing my old self... gonna suffocate the witch...

With a satin covered pillow!

Suicide?

I prefer to think of it as the phoenix rising from the ashes...

MiladyB · 04-10-2007, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CeeCee

Suicide?

I prefer to think of it as the phoenix rising from the ashes...

Ohhhh...now that's an image I like, Cee Cee!

MiladyB · 04-10-2007, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenBear7

It almost seems cruel doesnt it? That we have to commit inner-self image suicide, in order to get past the Old us.. and get on with the new us. I have already spent alot of time thinking about this.. Worrying about the sags that are ALREADY happening since I have been losing weight for the surgery. Its scares the bejesus out of me actually... that Im picking that apart.. so now.. I hate looking in the mirror because I am fat.. AND because.. Im losing weight and sagging.. I really do refer to it as killing my old self... gonna suffocate the witch...

With a satin covered pillow!

As long as it is a satin pillow, Jen!! You know that "old witch" does have a good side...she at least deserves to go out in style.....