How Have You Overstepped Your Boundaries Today? - ThinnerTimes

brutherford · 01-18-2005, 06:44 PM

Read the post "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies" before trying to make sense of this one...

So, the idea that weight obsession comes from repeated attempts to knock ourselves down to where we are socially acceptable really resonates with me. Many of you know my childhood history and I realized a few years ago that some of the more destructive and abusive things my parents did were attempts to keep me down - they've both told me repeatedly about how I'm smarter than they are, I intimidate(d) them, they really didn't know what to do with me, etc. I now believe that I'm attempting to keep myself down because that's where I feel comfortable.

So, my idea is that instead of focusing on the ways in which we keep ourselves down, we need to celebrate one another's successes... you know, the things that make us “larger than any woman is supposed to be in a man’s world.” Here's a few things to help get us started:

Since April 2003, I've lost 150 lbs.
I left my old, toxic, abusive job and now have a wonderful, artistic, and satisfying job where people regularly acknowledge my contributions.
Art has been amazing - I've been asked to display my paintings for sale in one of our sister schools; tomorrow night is the auction of my Downtown Banner; and I've had 2 sales in the past month.
I ran two 5K's last year.
I did what I've known was the right thing for years and finally separated from my husband. I have a fantastic apartment in a great neighborhood and I love my new life.

I can just hear my old programming, in the voices of my grandmother, aunts, and mom: "Well, don't you just think that you're the cat's meow?" and "Don't get too ahead of yourself, Mrs. Smarty Pants." Well, I'm doing exactly what I should be doing - I'm living the life that I've been too afraid to live before now. The only person who can stop me now is me.

I would LOVE it if this became a regular posting ground for all of us - let's post here every time we push past our boundaries, give one another the support and praise that we all need and deserve, and keep the ball rolling!

TabFox · 01-18-2005, 08:11 PM

What a wonderful idea!!! I just love your posts! It's like our own cheering section.

Hmmmm, let's see...what have I done lately.

1. I've lost almost 130 lbs. in the past 7 1/2 months
2. I joined Curves.
3. I left a dead-end job for a wonderful teaching job that I love.
4. I've actually bought a few articles of clothing without feeling guilty.

Tabitha
Open 5/26/04
321/193/???

brutherford · 01-18-2005, 09:43 PM

Congratulations, Tabitha!

You've made tremendous changes in your life and you should definitely be tooting your own horn about them!

How do you feel about celebrating these successes? Is there one in particular that is difficult for you to discuss? The reason that I ask is that we may want to focus our cheerleading on the areas that we are most uncomfortable - so, tell us how we can help you!

Keep it up girlfriend!

pambragg · 01-19-2005, 07:18 AM

Barbara,

You ARE the cat's meow!! You are an awesome, enpowering woman and I am so happy things are going good for you. You are an inspiration to many of us and I am so proud to count you as a friend. Love you bunches

Americanwoman397 · 01-19-2005, 07:37 AM

Barbara this is a wonderful thing to do I think. You are an inspiration to us all and I dream of being as strong as you someday. For me I've done a few things in the last six months that I wouldn't have ever done for myself a year ago.

1. In my current realtionship I'm standing up for what I want. In the past I've always rolled over and given the person whatever they wanted.
2. I've stood up for myself at work and I'm now doing so much more and looks like I'm now going places with this company. I now love my job.
3. The thing I'm most proud of is losing 107lbs and dealing with issuses to make sure I'm never that girl again.

watergirl · 01-19-2005, 07:38 AM

ROCK ON SISTA! You are my inspiration! I so admire your strength to rise above it all. You've done good work on you my dear! I got chills running up and down my body when I read your successes.

When I stop and think about each one of your success, each one in itself would have drove me to eat. The good with the bad. I still have work to do on me.

I think a place to cheer on our brothers and sisters is a great idea!

brutherford · 01-19-2005, 09:26 AM

I miss you! Feels like I haven't seen you in ages!

Thank you so much for the support - even though we're all practicing saying "thank you" when we receive a compliment, it's still so weird for me to see myself the way that others see me. Being described as awesome, empowering, and inspirational is totally foreign to me and honestly makes me want to cry - partly because I don't feel like I deserve it and partly because kindness is still so unexpected. My sister tells this story about how an elderly man helped her in the grocery store parking lot while she was trying to unload groceries into her car and manage two children under the age of two - she started to cry because his kindness was unexpected. It breaks my heart that we've all been wronged in life to the point where kindness is unsettling and uncomfortable.

Thank you so much for the compliments and praise! I wish you had posted your own boundary-pushing accomplishments so that I return the favor. Whenever you're ready, I'll be waiting!

Love you back, B

brutherford · 01-19-2005, 09:33 AM

You, my little sista, ROCK!

Thank you so much for the compliments (you all are ruining my eye makeup today!), but YOU ARE STRONG. Look at all that you've accomplished!! You absolutely take my breath away - you're figuring out stuff at an age where most are content to be confused and numb. You're SO ahead of the curve and I'm so proud of you! I wasn't this self-assured and strong when I was your age - you don't need a role model, you just need to embrace how incredible that you are.

Love ya, B

brutherford · 01-19-2005, 09:40 AM

You have such a special place in my heart. This: "When I stop and think about each one of your success, each one in itself would have drove me to eat," was what I really needed to hear... that I'm not the freak that I am always sure that I am. I understand these things intellectually, but emotional understanding is not yet where it needs to be.

So, give me something to cheer you on about - I could list your accomplishments that I know about, but I want to hear it from you!

Love ya, B

bridgetgirl · 01-19-2005, 10:05 AM

Okay Barbara.. you asked for it ... you got it. The things I have accomplished, this is huge for me....

1. Stopped lying to myself and saying that I am okay with being single... after 7 years wothout romance I've had enough and Im going after it. I want to be married, have more family.
2. I decided to go back to school, after 8 years. I am terrified... afraid of failing, but I am putting my best foot forward and moving on and getting over it.. I have 54 units and nothing to show for it... I wanna be able to see and feel the fruits of my labor.
3. I declared a business major, I want to work for myself someday. I never declared a major before, just did general ed. classes.
4. I am signing up for a grant writing class, I want to be able to write grants to better help my sons school with raising funds.
5. I want to turn my idea of being a Philanthropist into a reality, with grant writing I will be able to get assistance to start a non profit organization to help others that need help and/or are faced with extraordinary circumstance that need some assistance.
6. All my life I have been telling myself and felt within my heart that I was not put on this earth to be ordinary, everyday people. I am supposed to different, and touch peoples lives. I want to make that feeling a reality.

Gosh B, that felt good. Thaks for the thread sugar pea! Rock on!