Just met a person I went to school with - ThinnerTimes

Baron Patrick · 03-09-2007, 04:33 PM

Oh, man. I can’t believe what I’ve just been through! A person I had not seen since high school recognized me in the hallway. I have to admit, I didn’t recognize her, her appearance had changed so much.

I had a wild crush on her in school. When I found out her boyfriend broke up with her, I tried to strike up a friendship and asked her out. She didn’t just say no, she said “hell no.” She was an absolute knockout, and a potential Olympic diver. She had diving training all week after school, so her blonde hair always had an interesting tint of green from the pool chlorine. I never knew what her problem with me was, she and her friends made sure everyone in school knew I tried to “pick her up,” and how much out of her league I was. I never thought the teasing (fat guy picking up on a thin girl), and other S&*t would end, it seemed to last forever. Whenever we passed, she had this smirk on her face and would just kind of stare at me, and of course, her friends would whisper to her, and laugh while looking at me and other tricks teens pull.

Well, it’s hard to describe how she looked today without sounding mean. She has a weight problem herself, and it’s all at her thighs and butt. Please forgive me for saying, but she has a “huge” butt, almost deformed because it’s so wide. We sat and talked for a while, seemed like she wanted to get something off her conscience.

She told me she always did like me, but she was in a clique that wouldn’t allow her to be friends with me, much less go out. She told me she had a “reputation” to keep. She was also told to make my life miserable for having the audacity to ask her out. She said she was smiling on the outside, but crying on the inside because that’s not the person she really was.

I asked her the million dollar question – what happened?

She told me she began to believe the BS in the clique, and decided she was too good to be an Olympic diver and quit shortly after high school. She also had a couple bad marriages. She said she was very physically abused in her first marriage, and was the abuser in the second. It was during her second marriage she let herself get out of shape. She has no children. She did go to college, and has a good job (she didn’t say, and I didn’t ask).

She appeared very lonely. She wouldn’t look at me very much, kept her head down. In fact, she actually seemed disappointed that I’m not only married, but genuinely happy. She went on to tell me how depressed she is at the way she looks and wished there was something she could do. She told me she had looked into weight loss surgery, but because of the way she is shaped, the doctor told her it most likely would not help, that the best she could do is have liposuction. I asked if she went for a second opinion, she said yes, and was told the same thing. She does have a thin body above her waist, nor does she have the typical obese stomach. Like I said, it’s almost like she’s deformed.

She asked about me and my family, so I told her. I also told her I was waiting approval for weight loss surgery. She replied she now understands what I went through. I told her maybe she does, but she didn't live with it all her life, like I have. I related a few stories of what I had gone through, and how very fortunate I am to have someone who loves me for me, and not for my appearance, money or anything like that. She asked how long we’ve been together and I told her 21 years. She asked if my wife is “heavy set”, and I told her no, she the same height as me, and weighs 120. The more I told her, the lower her head seemed to go.

Then, she simply got up, said she’s happy for me, and said she had to go. I wished her well and we went our separate ways.

This was the most bizarre situation I’ve ever been in. It was almost surreal. I had to go for a walk to clear my head from what just happened. It’s almost like WTF just happened?

VanessaSFL · 03-09-2007, 07:56 PM

Pat~I love these stories.I was not fat during highschool..in fact I was one hot looking Belinda Carlise,Madonna hair having babe of the 80's.I never had a boyfriend because I was nevr asked out.I went to Jr Prom and Prom with my freaking brother(Thank God for him) again ..no one asked me to either dance.
I had a reputation from hell for being a "Slut" although I was a VIRGIN untill I was 20

Anyway,fast forward almost 20 years...I am in charge of my 20th class reunion.All these punks from highschool have to get in touch with me and have to send pictures...I am telling you it has brought me the most joy ever.Some look good,others rough..we all look older...some thin ,some heavy.It's like I get the last laugh.Bad,right?I know*evil laugh*

I run into male classmates that I had crushes on and they say," I always thought you had a boyfriend".....Yeah,thats why my brother took me to Prom.

I know your in shock now but it is still a cool story.I am glad she found you happy and doing well in life.Good for you!!

V

LisaM · 03-09-2007, 08:31 PM

I'm so glad you were able to point to your happy marriage. Peer pressure in high school comes from every possible direction, doesn't it? She was purely miserable in high school, or at least that's how she remembers it. She was evil to you because her clique pushed her to be, and obviously now regrets it. Poetic justice, to my way of thinking...

Personally, I was a chub in high school, and not to put too fine a point on it, when I lost the weight shortly afterward, I went back and went to bed with every guy that I could get my hands on, the ones who wouldn't so much as acknowledge me in high school. Had a ball (if you'll pardon the expression), and basically got over it. Not proud of my minor brush with slut-dom, but it sure worked a number of issues out for me...

Hope I don't ever run for President, y'all will have WAY too much blackmail info on me already!

Don't know if there's a 30-year high school reunion for my class this year - but if there is, I'm planning to go back for it!

readyforit · 03-10-2007, 12:38 AM

Hi Patrick

Thank you for sharing this story . . . there are so many who will relate to it. It is a sad story, but I am happy that you were able to handle it will care and sensitivity.

CeeCee · 03-10-2007, 09:27 AM

Patrick, that's an amazing story. I had a somewhat similar conversation with a highschool classmate last yr, when they were planning our 30th reunion. This girl called me out of the blue- I hadn't talked to her in 30 yrs. Well, her health is a mess, she's been divorced twice, her kids are in trouble with the law. She asked me how I was doing. Basically, life is good, I have a lovely home, a job I like, I make halfway decent money, I have the most wonderful, caring, sensitive, intelligent man in the world. Then she tells me she use to feel sorry for me but was afraid to stick up for me when everyone made fun of me- from 1st to 12th grade, mind you! (Yup, I have always been chubby!) It's like they've come to some turning point in their own lives, and want to make amends? Ask forgiveness? I'm not quite sure. I don't bear grudges, life is too short to carry that extra weight too! But I am a smidge resentful, kind of, that they want to use me to feel better about themselves? Is that it? Whaddya think?

MILA · 03-10-2007, 11:56 AM

Very interesting ... thanks for sharing your experience. Just reinforces my own belief that most people are phonies and carry "stuff" around inside that they refuse to deal with - its a shame many can't cut through the crap and learn to live a "real" life, based on true compassion to others and honesty.

Mavisavis · 03-10-2007, 12:54 PM

Wow....unreal....but it sure shows you that nomatter the outside, we all carry issues on the inside. I feel badly for her and all she's been through....and who she became. Makes me rethink envying life's beautiful people........I'd rather be happy and loved.

Bella · 03-10-2007, 01:40 PM

Not trying to be mean but ... payback is a bi***.

You are soooo much better off than she is.

Debz · 03-11-2007, 11:13 AM

I understand completely the urge to think about payback...but part of me really can't help but think about compassion and forgiveness. I have to say, that while I wasn't a bully as a kid, there are things that I look back on and am ashamed that I ever did them. If I were to be judged solely on who I was as a teenager, I certainly would come up short. None of us are who we were when we were kids. I also try to remember that people who treat others crappily are not happy people themselves.

On the other hand, if I still carried anger around at the people who shunned me as a kid, I'm not sure I could bear that weight...no pun intended. One of the freeing graces of turning 40 is the ability to not worry so much about what others think. HS was an awful time for me...and I'm so glad that I've been able to leave that hurt behind. But to do that, I've had to forgive. And I didn't do it for them...I did it for me. Not trying to sound like a sappy Polly Anna...just my two cents.

All that being said, I have to admit to a certain charge upon seeing the snottiest bitch I went to school with a while back...300 pounds and looked ten years older than she really is.