Rude comments - ThinnerTimes

Christina · 11-24-2004, 03:06 PM

Ok since my weight loss journey has started and even way before hand when the prospect of weight loss surgery had been introduced to me I have come across some really ugly and mean people. When I say ugly I don't mean it in the physical sense, so don't anyone go getting offended on me..

What I am trying to say is that there are some really mean people out there just waiting to prey on their next victim and say things that are so innapropriate and just plain wrong. Before I had surgery and before the thought ever crossed my mind I found myself confronted by plenty of people regarding my weight. I guess they didn't realize that I did already know that I was overweight?

I then realized that most of the people who felt they could simply speak their mind and not expect me to be offended were older people in their 80's.. I guess they knew I wouldn't hit them. Also a lot of them were men. I heard comments like "No man would ever be faithful to you when you are that fat" (I heard that from an old man and I also heard it from my own Father!) Now don't get me wrong, I love my Dad to death, but I don't even think he realizes that things like that hurt maybe even more coming from him. Anyway, my point being that people are mean and rude no matter what weight you are.

Since I have had surgery I have heard the following comments from people who never even bothered to ask my name.. didn't know me.. nothin..

1. I was somewhere I don't even remember where it was and this old lady kept staring at me. I thought that something was wrong with her or that she recognized me or something so I asked her if she needed anything or if I knew her? She said no but I wish I did know you. I smiled politely and asked why is that? She said because then I would not feel so bad telling you that you have no business wearing that skirt. You are too big for it. I calmed myself down quickly and told her that I felt her comment was inappropriate and that if she would have seen me six months ago then she would have had every right to say that. Then I went on to tell her that I had just lost 100 lbs and could safely fasten that size 14 skirt and it fit so therefore, I had every right to wear it. She just rolled her eyes and walked away unimpressed with my accomplishment. That day pretty much ticked me off and I have yet to wear that skirt again. It's kind of a shame too because now it is probably too big for me. This was a couple of months ago.

2. I was standing in line in the post office and this guy kept flirting with me, or I imagine he was because he kept making comments to me and trying to talk to me. Then he made the comment that I hadn't heard in quite some time bringing me back to my 274 pound body frame. He said "you know I really like you thick girls" Thick!!! Now I am not thin by any measure I am still overweight.. but that hurt. I thought I had made some progress. I guess not..

Anyway that got to me too. I kept getting mad all day thinking about it. I am not ashamed of where I came from, and I will NEVER forget where I came from either, but sometimes people can just be so uncaring and insensitive. I swear it makes me so mad. This happened a couple of weeks ago.

However, this one tops it all.. and it was from someone who knows me pretty darn well and it made me madder than anything.. it was from my Boss.. and it was the worst thing I had heard yet and he said it a couple of weeks ago.

Before I got my new position with this company I was the dispatch supervisor at night and we had T-Shirts with the company logo that we could wear if we wanted to.. anyways mine was a 3X and it was admitedly tight on me at the time. Well, I brought it into work a couple of weeks ago and put it up to me (now it looks like a tent on me) and said to my boss.. "Can you believe I used to wear this shirt?" He looked at me and said "You will again" Can you believe that?!!!!?? Oh man was I angry and I told him to bite me and some other choice words before slamming through the door and telling him to stick it where the sun don't shine. Thank goodness he loves me or this behavior wouldn't be acceptable..

But it hurt nonetheless. See he never wanted me to have surgery in the first place, he knew someone who had it and gained all their weight back and said she regretted ever having the surgery. She had it done years ago before the surgery was refined and done as it is today. She had the old stomach stapling not the gastric bypass.. either way I told him that most people who regret having the surgery and gain their weight back are not using the tool .. the pouch .. as it was intended to be used therefore they do gain their weight back. They snack, eat sugary stuff like cakes, and pies, and stuff like that. I haven't done that.. though I know one day I will probably put my hand in the cookie jar and hopefully end up regretting it with a bout of dumping .. hopefully..

But either way I just thought I would share with you some of the negativity I have received and open the flood gates for any of those who would like to vent about something that someone else said to them and had no right to do so. I can't change the world, I can only change the way I view the world. Now when people say negative things I will come in here and post it on this thread and let it go.. instead of carrying it with me for so long. It's funny how even though you lose 113 lbs or so you can still be looked at as obscene and disgusting by some. When will people ever learn that sensitivity is so easy to come by.. you don't have to voice your opinion on EVERYTHING. I mean who do these people think they are? Are they really better than me in their eyes? I am sorry but I personally don't have the time or the patience for people who think they are better than me weather they know me or not. We are all equal in my eyes.. that's my two cents.. thanks for listening..

pambragg · 11-24-2004, 03:21 PM

Kina,
It never amazes me how freaking stupid people are. Your boss is lucky he didn't get your foot in his crotch, he would have mine. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. If you hear any more of these comments just consider the source, pity it, and let it go. Love you.

Christina · 11-24-2004, 03:36 PM

Oh don't think I didn't feel like doing more to my boss.. but you know I still need a paycheck.. even if it is just for now.. ya know? I can't quit a job until I find another one.. after the Holidays I will be seriously searching but it is hard during them because nobody is hiring. Anyway thanks..

If I hear the rude comments still.. I will do like I said I will post it here and let it go. That way I don't have to bottle them up inside... I know myself too well I will keep them bottled up and then I will explode on the next person. It helps me to get it out. I do pitty people like that especially when they obviously have really low self esteem as well. I have always heard and do beileve that people point out the flaws in others that they feel in themselves. And I can't stand when people act like their S*$T don't stink ya know? People who act like they are better than me or anyone else are just really annoying. I don't care if you are prettier, have more money, or skinner than me, or have anything else I don't have.. you are still not better than me ya know? I mean I may not be the prettiest or sexiest person or even the most successful person in the world, but you know what? I like who I am and who I am is pretty darn good. I treat others with respect, and dignity. I am a great friend, and have a great life. So it's on them I guess..

bridgetgirl · 11-25-2004, 05:35 PM

Dang Kina, that stinks so bad chicken! I am a loss of words, so I can say what Pam said is right on! Mean people suck! I love your face.... congrats on your 10's chicken!

Mysticgirl29 · 11-26-2004, 09:35 AM

Me and two of my friends at work have made up a little thing when we get mad we say breathe...streach.....shake....let it loose and we do the motions as we say it....it really helps sometimes...LOL

Blueyz · 11-27-2004, 11:04 AM

Christina,
How rude of people. I can not believe what people say. People say things to me as well and I just have to bite my tongue and control myself and say "I will not lower myself to them!" You are a beautiful person inside and out and those rude people can just take a hike! Love ya girl...keep your head up..... And keep smiling.

TabFox · 11-27-2004, 07:51 PM

As I pick my jaw up from the desk......some people have NO manners whatsoever!!! What gives people the right to say anything to anyone about their physical appearance!? I try really hard to look at people as if they have a third eye (all the while saying in my mind "what a dumbass") when they say inappropriate comments. I tend to see the beauty in ALL people, but then they'll open their mouths and the beauty is gone. Personality can make someone ugly alot faster than an extra 100 pounds.

Tabitha

Americanwoman397 · 11-27-2004, 09:48 PM

Well girl all the peeps here have said all there is to be said on this. You know what all I want to add is don't forget how much we love you. You are so dang pretty on the inside and outside.

Love you lots

Mysticgirl29 · 11-28-2004, 08:10 PM

Yeah I had a custmer that I have sort of became friends with and the other say he called me BIG Block and he thought it was funny I just smiled but on the inside I was how freaking RUDE was that... I was ok
until I saw him again the next day and I thought about what he called me again..Some people I guess dont realize what they say

watergirl · 11-29-2004, 08:15 AM

Obesity is the last acceptable prejudice. There needs to be words spoken to remind people that we have feelings when we feel violated. Speak up and tell people how rude they are, maybe you'll save someone else from this humilliation.

Christina, you're right not to hold on to this garbage. That's exactly what it is. Stand up to these rude people and explain to them that what they said hurt you, otherwise, if you continue to act the way you have, you'll contine to get what you're getting. It's freeing to stand up for yourself. You'll feel so much better leaving them with their mouth hanging open.