sex..yes sex - ThinnerTimes

BarbB · 06-26-2006, 02:04 PM

I don't write often but I love the ideas and support from all of you out there so here is my question...since I have lost weight for numerous reasons I love having sex now more than ever...not so much my appearance (sagging etc.) but for many other reasons. My husband is fine with it for the most part but he does get tired and works a lot but it is all I seem to think about...does this seem to get more leveled out as time goes by? Also, did or do any of you want more attention from the opposite sex for that ego boost. I never cared before and now I love the looks etc. Please let me know if I am alone in this or what I can expect. THANKS

Barb

Cinerbelle · 06-26-2006, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarbB

I don't write often but I love the ideas and support from all of you out there so here is my question...since I have lost weight for numerous reasons I love having sex now more than ever...not so much my appearance (sagging etc.) but for many other reasons. My husband is fine with it for the most part but he does get tired and works a lot but it is all I seem to think about...does this seem to get more leveled out as time goes by? Also, did or do any of you want more attention from the opposite sex for that ego boost. I never cared before and now I love the looks etc. Please let me know if I am alone in this or what I can expect. THANKS

Barb

This worries me a tiny bit for you. You do not say how stable your relationship is with your Husband. My Mom had this surgery 20 years ago and lost 140lbs. She got down to a tiny size for her frame. Needless to say, her personality TOTALLY changed. She turned into a sex crazed party chick and ended up cheating on my Dad at least 3 times that we know of. This all happened during my high school years. It wasn't easy to watch my Dad's heart get broken. This is exactly the reason I was a little afraid of getting the surgery...that little voice in my head saying "what if you turn our like her and lose the love of your life". Well, I figured out that I am not her and my Hubby and I are rock solid...so I went ahead with the surgery. I think you need to do some soul searching on this one. Good Luck!!!

Mavisavis · 06-26-2006, 04:32 PM

I agree with Cindy......not that I am saying it is an issue, but make sure it is not a new addiction surfacing. That happens a lot with this surgery. But it may very well just be that you are feeling energetic, positive, and just lighter! Do some soul searching and head to counseling if you think it might be out of the norm. If it is just new energy, confidence, and feeling good......then better start giving hubby massages, buying some lingerie, and hitting a "toy party"!

chellchatting · 06-26-2006, 07:01 PM

Well I havent lost weight - this is my first week after surgery. But FOR ME...I have noticed even a touch more confidence. I am married 7 yrs. 2nd hubby and we didnt really have a thriving sex life lately. But I think it was more ME. Anyhow, even in the hospital we shared those little sexual innuendos and i notice the past couple days he is more touchy feely teasy withme than he has been in a few yrs. Yeah! I know TMI (too much info) but I find that I just keep looking at him and so attracted to this man again. We are very simple looking people - he is avg guy - middle 40's and so for us I have noticed a difference. I am like you though - I believe our marriage is rock solid - we have that Christian foundation base that we met upon in a singles group. We took counselling before and aftr marriage.
I have been finding this week new feelings undercovering for us too...so you never know?
Anyhow that is my 2 cents. I

BarbB · 06-26-2006, 07:33 PM

ok....I totally understand why you are asking the questions you are...yes my marriage is very good, however, I feel like a cat in heat all the time and wondered if anyone else ever had this happen after losing so much weight. I do understand addictions and for that reason and because I do not believe anyone should never say Never...I guard myself carefully so that I do not slip into a bad decision or put myself into that type of situation. I felel guilty liking attention or compliments from men and I am not sure if that is "normal" either..Lets face it, most of my days were not so normal in many ways. I did buy the lingerie for a trip we are taking in a few weeks. Thanks for all of your thoughts and concerns...I have thought about counseling at some point. I still have issues with the way I look etc. as well. Thanks for listening.

lve

Mavisavis · 06-26-2006, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chellchatting

Yeah! I know TMI (too much info)

Oh contrare....no such thing on this board!

I'm glad your spark is back. This surgery can do wonders for an already strong relationship. There is often more confidence, passion, and just generally more energy and activity.

Mavisavis · 06-26-2006, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarbB

ok....I totally understand why you are asking the questions you are...yes my marriage is very good, however, I feel like a cat in heat all the time and wondered if anyone else ever had this happen after losing so much weight. I do understand addictions and for that reason and because I do not believe anyone should never say Never...I guard myself carefully so that I do not slip into a bad decision or put myself into that type of situation. I felel guilty liking attention or compliments from men and I am not sure if that is "normal" either..Lets face it, most of my days were not so normal in many ways. I did buy the lingerie for a trip we are taking in a few weeks. Thanks for all of your thoughts and concerns...I have thought about counseling at some point. I still have issues with the way I look etc. as well. Thanks for listening.

lve

I'm glad to hear you are being watchful, both about the addiction possibilities and the attention. Honestly, I like attention if it comes my way. I am average and middle aged, so even smaller it's not like the guys are all over me. But a worker at a store flirted with me one day and did the whole, boy your perfume smells good thing. I immediately called my BF because I was so excited about it. lol So, I think it's ok for that to feel good. As for the counseling.....I think most of us could benefit from some. I doubt many of us got MO without some dysfunction or issues.

I had lots of issues with looks too. I saw myself as fat for a long, long tme.....and still do at times. It's hard for the mind to catch up. Then there's the saggy boobs and such. But it gets better with time.........at least it is for me.

laura · 06-26-2006, 08:51 PM

I am only two weeks out but I have already noticed more interest from my husband, which makes me more interested. I think an increase in your sex drive is very normal. Sex was much better for me before I became MO. You have alot more sensation which makes it easier for orgasm and the more orgasm's you have the more you want. I do think sex can be addictive but I dont think thats always a bad thing as long as you focus your addition on your partner.

Mavisavis · 06-26-2006, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laura

I do think sex can be addictive but I dont think thats always a bad thing as long as you focus your addition on your partner.

AND, if he can still maintain his job!

lol I think some of the things we do to replace food are indeed good replacements, and I agree sex can be one. I used shopping and warm beverages a lot in place of food also. I think it's about making sure whatever we use does not hinder our health or relationships. Break out the lingerie!!