How many of you told your employer? - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Lynette · 05-25-2009, 10:18 AM

And I mean before you had the surgery done, how many of you told your work what you were doing?

I think I am the biggest person at my company so along with a Human Resources person who constantly comments on people's looks and couldn't keep a secret to save her life, I put in for 2 weeks of vacation for my surgery since the plan is for lap RNY and implied I was going on a trip. I can't help but feel like I would be thought of in a negative way if I took time off for an elective surgery since it would be a burden to my co-workers. Yes, I am sure it will come out when one day they realize I am shrinking, but I have already lost 30lbs for my pre-op goal with Kaiser and my clothes are really baggy and no one has said a word so who knows? In all honesty, I think it will make me mad when people start noticing I am shrinking like it implies I am disgusting now or something. Is that weird?? Maybe that will change as I lose?

So did you tell your work beforehand? When did they start noticing your loss? If you never told anyone, what did you tell them instead when they noticed your weight loss?

TheFour · 05-25-2009, 11:07 AM

I told no one at work. If they notice I will tell them I am dieting. Its none of their business and I dont need any negativity either, but thats me.

loki8481 · 05-25-2009, 11:16 AM

I told my boss and a couple guys that I'm friendly with at work. wanted to make sure I was covered in case something went wrong and I had to take more time off or even take FMLA.

didn't make a big production about it and if people bring up my weight loss, I usually just credit it to diet and exercise. the 2 weeks that I took off went largely unnoticed since it was during christmas/new year's.

Ms. Readytobehealthy · 05-25-2009, 12:26 PM

I've decided not to tell anyone at work either. I do not think it is any of their business. Can I ask what did you do for your pre - op, 30lbs is very good?

Jeweld · 05-25-2009, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynette

And I mean before you had the surgery done, how many of you told your work what you were doing?

I think I am the biggest person at my company so along with a Human Resources person who constantly comments on people's looks and couldn't keep a secret to save her life, I put in for 2 weeks of vacation for my surgery since the plan is for lap RNY and implied I was going on a trip. I can't help but feel like I would be thought of in a negative way if I took time off for an elective surgery since it would be a burden to my co-workers. Yes, I am sure it will come out when one day they realize I am shrinking, but I have already lost 30lbs for my pre-op goal with Kaiser and my clothes are really baggy and no one has said a word so who knows? In all honesty, I think it will make me mad when people start noticing I am shrinking like it implies I am disgusting now or something. Is that weird?? Maybe that will change as I lose?

So did you tell your work beforehand? When did they start noticing your loss? If you never told anyone, what did you tell them instead when they noticed your weight loss?

I can relate - my work is a very gossipy place. I have been talking to one person at work that I am thinking about having the surgery as he had it done about three years ago, so he has been a wealth of information. However, I do not plan to tell anyone else - I kind of worry about this since I am close to my boss and he may be hurt if he finds out and I didn't tell him, but I just don't feel comfortable. Like you said I don't want my coworkers to feel burdened because of my elective surgery. Unfortuanately, I know me being out is going to affect the other VP a lot as she will have more work to do, but I think I may by her a thank you card or small gift. It is no ones business. As far as the questions go, I am still not sure how I will handle those - especially from the students - since I work in a school I know there will be lots of questions. Well, let me know what you end up deciding - I know it is a big decision.

poet_kelly · 05-25-2009, 01:17 PM

I work from home as a freelance writer, so I pick and choose my own assignments and it was not a problem to take time off. I told my regular clients I would be having surgery and would not be writing for a few weeks. They didn't ask any questions. It turned out a few weeks after my gastric bypass, I developed severe pneumonia and ended up in the hospital for several weeks and was very sick for about another month after that, so I ended up taking a lot more time off than I had planned. I just let them know I had pneumonia.

I also do volunteer work for the juvenile court, and had to take time off from that. Again, I just said I was having surgery. Two people asked me what kind of surgery, so I told them. One of them said she'd had a friend who'd had WLS and had very good results. The other just said good luck.

I want to add that I didn't really look at it as elective surgery. I mean, it wasn't an emergency surgery or anything like that, but I believe it was medically necessarily. Elective surgery, to me, is like a nose job.

Kelly

Jeweld · 05-25-2009, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poet_kelly

I work from home as a freelance writer, so I pick and choose my own assignments and it was not a problem to take time off. I told my regular clients I would be having surgery and would not be writing for a few weeks. They didn't ask any questions. It turned out a few weeks after my gastric bypass, I developed severe pneumonia and ended up in the hospital for several weeks and was very sick for about another month after that, so I ended up taking a lot more time off than I had planned. I just let them know I had pneumonia.

I also do volunteer work for the juvenile court, and had to take time off from that. Again, I just said I was having surgery. Two people asked me what kind of surgery, so I told them. One of them said she'd had a friend who'd had WLS and had very good results. The other just said good luck.

I want to add that I didn't really look at it as elective surgery. I mean, it wasn't an emergency surgery or anything like that, but I believe it was medically necessarily. Elective surgery, to me, is like a nose job.

Kelly

Kelly,

Good point, you are right - I guess I just always hear them say that "elective surgery" at my doctor's office, but the truth is for many of us the results if we don't do it aren't something I want to think about. Thanks!

Lynette · 05-25-2009, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms. Readytobehealthy

I've decided not to tell anyone at work either. I do not think it is any of their business. Can I ask what did you do for your pre - op, 30lbs is very good?

I have Kaiser and they give you a 1200 calorie diet to follow to help lose your pre-op 10%. I dunno if they really care how you do it though, I just followed it because although I found Atkin's works well for me, I have kids at home so I needed something more balanced so I wasn't doing 2 seperate meals every mealtime

Kelly- I totally agree with the elective nose job vs. WLS, it is just something the program has drilled into me: "It is a high-risk elective surgery with a 30% failure rate." :rolleyes

Thanks all for the different perspectives! I do have one co-worker in particular who I think would be kind of hurt that I didn't say anything to her but I also think she wouldn't be able to keep it to herself either. I guess in the end I will just have to see how it plays out.

Snow-Belle · 05-25-2009, 04:43 PM

I wasn't going to tell them at work...but once I had my surgery date, I went ahead and told my boss and co-workers (and HR, of course). I did wait until I was positive I'd be covered by FMLA (in fact, my surgeon insisted on it because I was such a 'worry-wart' and he said I'd have enough to deal with without worrying whether my job was safe).

I guess I didn't think of it as elective surgery...I had problems with my joints, blood sugar and sleep apnea and felt this was to save my life....

I was only out of work for three weeks, at had my surgery at a 'slow' time for my department--so my co-workers weren't unduly stressed by my absence.

I'm glad I told people at work. My experience so far has been incredibly positive.... and the people that are critical would have been critical any way.....(and being as I don't like them, I don't give a gosh-darn what they think anyway).

Looking back, I'm glad I did tell everyone I was having the surgery...for me it was the right decision.

feliciadragon · 05-25-2009, 05:30 PM

I told my boss and my coworkers, and as someone else said, didn't really care what they thought. But I knew that I was going to be losing over 200 lbs and that isn't something that can easily be explained away. There had been another girl there that had been out for several weeks and then lost over a 100 lbs and people just gossiped about it and speculated. I figured it would make it less interesting to gossip about if I told them the facts straight out. I did deliberately wait till our slowest time of year. Everyone I told was very supportive, no one was publicly negative or critical although I'm sure some of them had things to say about "the easy way out" when I wasn't around. I also got LOTS of questions since I was open about it, and I was ok with that because I think that the surgery is misunderstood and a lot of the negative preconceived notions people have are because they don't know facts. So I took the opportunity to educate my coworkers (whether they wanted to be or not - lol!)