bryanquijada

I'm logged in under my hubby's account, but I would like to know if anyone has any advice on how to be more supportive and if there is anything I should know about in advance. I don't want to let him down!

foxyfuzz

Hi and welcome!

You need to be supportive, but not over obsessive. Don't harp on him about his water and protein intake, but yet be there and help him get those requirements in.

Understand that he will start changing, and as long as you are supportive and not a stick in the mud about it, you both should be fine.

Go out for walks with him and just enjoy eachother. There will be good days and bad days. But either way support him.

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Cerissa

Never regret something done with affection; something born with a true heart will never be wasted

Sometimes you have to forget how you feel, and remember what you deserve.

313 / 298.5 / 169 / 150
Start/Day of surgery/Current/Goal

Surgery on 12/18/2008

watfam4

Just remember that he will be going through a kind of "break up" with another love in his life, FOOD. So he may go through some blue periods or seem a little extra rough around the edges during the next couple of months. It is a lot of adjustments that most are not fully prepared for.

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Jim

RNY Surgery date - 06/08/05
Highest/Pre-Op Goal/Current/Post-op Goal
470/265/235/??

Mynewlife

And every time he eats he's gonna gripe or be proud . Getting water down or protein in is a huge achievement for me and I would make a big deal of it the first while. I am sure every one was tired of me buuut...they cheered me on and eventually I found new obsessions -like the scale hehe

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Tabby
LAP RNY 2/3/2009
Gall Bladder Removal 6/10/2009
13 Pounds to FIRST goal **Century Club**!!!!

poet_kelly

My partner has been a great support to me. What's helped a lot has been his willingness to come to dr appointments with me, to go for walks with me, and his excitement over my progress. What would be nice (but what he's not doing) would be if he changed his eating habits some. Of course he doesn't have to, but I wish he didn't bring home pretzels so often.

Kelly

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RNY 11/4/08

surgery/current/goal
270/147/130

bryanquijada

Thank you so much everyone for your fast replies! I do go to every appointment with him because that is something we started way back when our oldest was in-utero 16 years ago. He went to every appointment with me because this was life changing for him, too. I am seeing how much alike having this surgery is to having our family. Another life changing moment! I'm overweight, too, so I want to help him as much as I can by walking, cutting back, and I promise not to bring pretzels home (though I have to admit a slight addiction to those myself :O). Snacking is a behavior that we'll have to overcome together, but I am confident. I'm still a little scared of complications because he's a diabetic. We've been together for 20 years and I can't imagine my life without him in it.

poet_kelly

Of course there is always a real risk of complications, but the truth is that he is more likely to develop serious problems from his diabetes if he doesn't have surgery than if he does. There is a good chance that having the surgery will resolve his diabetes in the end. In all likelihood, surgery will prolong his life.

Kelly

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RNY 11/4/08

surgery/current/goal
270/147/130

girl1dir

I am a wife to GT-R Mark -- he had sugery on 3/23/09.

I went to every pre-op appt as well.
And when he had to start his pre-op diet. I did it with him.
I knew that I couldn't go through the sugery with him, but I also knew I wouldn't know what it was like -- that liquid diet -- unless I went through it. SO I did! It was the best thing I have ever done!

As you can see by my ticker -- I have lost a bunch of weight with Mark! It was the trigger I needed to change my eatting habits!! It has been the most amazing experience for us.

I read all of the materials. I joined the forum under my own name. I did reading and research on my own. I asked him a lot of questions. I went to the doctor with a ton of questions written down. I went to the seminars (3 of them) with him and took notes.

I ask Mark questions post op -- about how he's feeling, what it's like, "is that too much?" you know -- the wifely type questions since I can't tell what's going on in his belly!

But we all should know our spouses well enough to know when enough is enough. We haven't ever hit that level b/c I know him pretty well.

Ask me anything -- I'll tell you what I can!

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~Michele
GTR-Mark's Biggest Fan

poet_kelly

I think it's great that you did the liquid diet with him! I actually suggested my partner do it with me. He keeps saying he wants to lose weight. He thought about it, but chickened out.

Kelly

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RNY 11/4/08

surgery/current/goal
270/147/130

girl1dir

Thanks
It was HARD!!! BUT SOOOO WORTH IT!!! Mark didn't even know I was going to do it until that night before I dont' think. It was a last minute decision on my part -- but damn -- I am so glad I did it.

Have him do it!! It changed my life!
It was so great because -- it was strict -- and he HAD to do it, so I HAD to it! I enjoy rules! hahaha!! don't laugh! But I really do.

Protein shakes are something I can do! And eating a little bit -- is something I can do! So this has worked out great for me!

I'm ~29lbs down!! woohoo!!!!
If your partner needs any encouragement -- send 'em my way!!

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~Michele
GTR-Mark's Biggest Fan