Could use your input - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

Vim&Vigour · 12-27-2007, 11:50 AM

Kim,
You are or have been to your in-laws, your husband's camp, where he will feel "safe".
In view of your former separation and counselling, I wonder whether your husband is having an affair or trouble at work, making him "defensive" with regards to your finances.
You are the mature and strong one in this relationship it seems. Firstly, remain always correct, courteous and above all feminine. Lead by example. In the meantime, imagine quietly to yourself how you would cope permanently on your own, with your children. Imagine you are leading that divorced life and that how you run your home and children is entirely down to you. It will help you organise yourself, plan, teach you how to depend on your own ability only. With that "secret" gameplan, you have the "benefit" of having your husband around (at week-ends) and will enjoy his "offerings" much more if you don't depend on them.
I adore my husband and we have been happily married for 25 years. However, each marriage has sticky patches and I have had mine too. DH was "stingy" and I spent generously. I used my above described plan and learned to live independently (whilst perfectly married). Instead, I came to "enjoy" my husband a lot more because I was not relying on him - in that area of my marriage - but instead on myself. However, my husband was/is a shining star in totally different areas and we have (without ever discussing anything) re-allocated our marital "duties" in our relationship. All in all, we have been plain sailing since those difficult days...
I wish you fortitude. Only you know what is right for you and your babies. If you are safe first, then you can keep your children safe too.
Best wishes!
Vim

nextbigloser · 12-27-2007, 12:46 PM

we made it to Kentucky and Christmas was great. Everything is going good. I limited the gifts to 3 per kid and they were happy. They got so much from all of their grandparents. DH and I are doing good. I want to thank everyone so much for their advice. I think there are some insecurity issues with me having the surgery. We have been talking and he is being supportive right now at least. I know we have so many things to work through but I did enjoy spending the time with his family and I think he needed it. He only sees them once a year. I will post more later we are still in KY and heading out to visit more people. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.