Hubby going under knife... - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Nikki_Sue · 11-29-2007, 01:29 PM

My name is Nikki. My husband is having gastric bypass on 12/10. He is day 4 of his 2 week liquid protein diet. We just got his surgery date last Tuesday. It's happening so fast that I can't seem to keep up. I am very happy that he is going to get help with his weight, and he is very excited. He sees this as his 2nd chance to control is weight.

The thing is...I'm so scared. I know technology has vastly improved since these procedures began, but I still can't shake the fears that something will go wrong. We have 2 small children, and I'm scared of the unspeakable. Has anyone had the same thoughts? I don't like voicing them to my hubby because he always says, "Oh...I'll be fine." And I'm sure he will be. But is it unreasonable of me to have these thoughts?

Btw...has anyone out there done this pre-op liquid diet? What can I do or say to support him. He is sooooo cranky! Not that I blame him...I would be too.

PLEASE HELP!

Momof3 · 11-29-2007, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nikki_Sue

My name is Nikki. My husband is having gastric bypass on 12/10. He is day 4 of his 2 week liquid protein diet. We just got his surgery date last Tuesday. It's happening so fast that I can't seem to keep up. I am very happy that he is going to get help with his weight, and he is very excited. He sees this as his 2nd chance to control is weight.

The thing is...I'm so scared. I know technology has vastly improved since these procedures began, but I still can't shake the fears that something will go wrong. We have 2 small children, and I'm scared of the unspeakable. Has anyone had the same thoughts? I don't like voicing them to my hubby because he always says, "Oh...I'll be fine." And I'm sure he will be. But is it unreasonable of me to have these thoughts?

Btw...has anyone out there done this pre-op liquid diet? What can I do or say to support him. He is sooooo cranky! Not that I blame him...I would be too.

PLEASE HELP!

my husband is scared too....

I dont have a surgery date, but I just started the process....

he's scared to death. I catch him just looking at me like he about to cry.

It's not unreasonable to be afraid, but if your spouse is overweight enough to qualify for surgery, the health risks being that overweight are just about, if not more, dangerous than the procedure. They sure outweigh it in my opinion.

I watched my father die a slow death from Type II Diabetes and he followed his dr's orders to the "t" from the moment he was diagnosed.

And it still killed him.

I dont want that for my children.

I'm willing to take the risk on the table vs. losing my sight from sugar or heart attack...or even living with constant aches and pains.

I want to be able to carry my daughter in from the car if she falls asleep.

it's worth it. And things have come so far now...they really have.

about the clear liquid diet...is he eating jello also? I had to do this one for something else and thought that eating jello helped with the sensation of chewing....

when your body is coming off that junk we put into it, it's hard.....you can either go on a vacation, or lock him in the closet

Toony · 11-29-2007, 01:41 PM

Hi Nikki Sue... One of my FAVORITE THINGS is when spouses come on here to get reassurance and information... I'm pre-op and I don't think my DH has a clue what this is going to mean to me... for me... It's ok... he has his own issues to deal with.

Your DH is already three steps ahead with your care and concern... and finding us!

HUGS and keep a positive attitude!!!

katie

Nikki_Sue · 11-29-2007, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Momof3

my husband is scared too....

I dont have a surgery date, but I just started the process....

he's scared to death. I catch him just looking at me like he about to cry.

It's not unreasonable to be afraid, but if your spouse is overweight enough to qualify for surgery, the health risks being that overweight are just about, if not more, dangerous than the procedure. They sure outweigh it in my opinion.

I watched my father die a slow death from Type II Diabetes and he followed his dr's orders to the "t" from the moment he was diagnosed.

And it still killed him.

I dont want that for my children.

I'm willing to take the risk on the table vs. losing my sight from sugar or heart attack...or even living with constant aches and pains.

I want to be able to carry my daughter in from the car if she falls asleep.

it's worth it. And things have come so far now...they really have.

about the clear liquid diet...is he eating jello also? I had to do this one for something else and thought that eating jello helped with the sensation of chewing....

when your body is coming off that junk we put into it, it's hard.....you can either go on a vacation, or lock him in the closet

Thanks for replying! I know this will be the best thing he's ever done. And he has the problems of not being able to play with our kids very long, sleep apnea, and high blood pressure. He doesn't have diabetes yet, but his father is type II. My hubby just wants to "live a normal life" physically again.

Jello? Yeah...I bought him a bag full of ready to eat as well as boxes to make. As soon as I walked in the door, he went through 4 cups just standing in the kitchen. It's helping a little. Right now, he will say, "I don't need to eat anything, but I WANT to." He's dealing with his own demons at the moment. Last night, he told me that he couldn't drink anymore for the day. Trying to deal with the frustration.....

Nikki_Sue · 11-29-2007, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toony

Hi Nikki Sue... One of my FAVORITE THINGS is when spouses come on here to get reassurance and information... I'm pre-op and I don't think my DH has a clue what this is going to mean to me... for me... It's ok... he has his own issues to deal with.

Your DH is already three steps ahead with your care and concern... and finding us!

HUGS and keep a positive attitude!!!

katie

Thanks! It's hard right now because he is so "snappy". I know he's just cranky because of the diet, but sometimes he doesn't realize when he's snapping at me. Trying to count to 10 and not say anything...

Claire-in-Texas · 11-30-2007, 09:46 AM

Hi! Good that you came here!

Here is the MOST important part of his liquid diet, and his beginning. And it's very important. He is now starting the process that will, if he cooperates, bring him to a place where the good habits he will learn will replace the bad ones that have caused him to be where I was for many years. That liquid diet is the beginning, and it will reduce the size of his liver and make his surgery much safer. It will also put him in the mode.

The way to be successful with this is to be a willing spirit. This doesn't mean he has to be happy all the time - it means that it is all a means to an end.

May I suggest the book "Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies." I got it on amazon.com. It is absolutely an amazing resource that I still use from time to time.

You have friends here. So does he. It's ok to be afraid - surgery is always a worry. But would I do this again? You bet, and 100 times over.

Best of luck and here's to a healthy and happy future for the two of you!

fisher1000 · 11-30-2007, 10:54 AM

Somebody in another thread a few weeks ago said something that really made me feel good:

Yes, you are taking a risk. But, isn't it better to take a tiny risk now that something "could" happen versus not during the surgery and be guaranteed that something "will" happen.

With current technology, the death rate is less than 2% nationally, and for some doctor's, it's much less than that. If you have an experienced doctor with extremely low rates for deaths or complications, then you have nothing to worry about.

I was scared to death before the surgery, because I like living. But that was also my reason for having the surgery in the first place: I like living. I WANT to be there for my wife and especially for my daughter, and this is what I had to do to make that happen.

I remember the morning of the surgery. I woke the baby up so that I could hold her in case it was the last time. I was so upset and I cried all the way to the hospital. I wish I had known then what I know now...it wasn't bad at all.

I've made the right decision. I take risks everyday--driving, talking back to my mother, running with scissors...that sort of thing. (kidding...) This surgery is just another risk to make the life I lead a fulfilling one.

You'll be fine.

-Mike

LQQkn · 11-30-2007, 12:44 PM

Ummm this is not true Mike! If you have an experienced doctor then you have nothing to worry about? Death is not the only complication from this surgery! I prayed that I would die after suffering for months and months! I had Dr. Callery the father of this forum, and yet I had hidious complications. So with current technology.. I'm here to say that it's like rolling the dice, and it's a crap shot! Janie

Quote:

Originally Posted by fisher1000

Somebody in another thread a few weeks ago said something that really made me feel good:

Yes, you are taking a risk. But, isn't it better to take a tiny risk now that something "could" happen versus not during the surgery and be guaranteed that something "will" happen.

With current technology, the death rate is less than 2% nationally, and for some doctor's, it's much less than that. If you have an experienced doctor with extremely low rates for deaths or complications, then you have nothing to worry about.

I was scared to death before the surgery, because I like living. But that was also my reason for having the surgery in the first place: I like living. I WANT to be there for my wife and especially for my daughter, and this is what I had to do to make that happen.

I remember the morning of the surgery. I woke the baby up so that I could hold her in case it was the last time. I was so upset and I cried all the way to the hospital. I wish I had known then what I know now...it wasn't bad at all.

I've made the right decision. I take risks everyday--driving, talking back to my mother, running with scissors...that sort of thing. (kidding...) This surgery is just another risk to make the life I lead a fulfilling one.

You'll be fine.

-Mike

fisher1000 · 11-30-2007, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LQQkn

Ummm this is not true Mike! If you have an experienced doctor then you have nothing to worry about? Death is not the only complication from this surgery! I prayed that I would die after suffering for months and months! I had Dr. Callery the father of this forum, and yet I had hidious complications. So with current technology.. I'm here to say that it's like rolling the dice, and it's a crap shot! Janie

Janie,

I don't want to start another two weeks of negativity on the forum and I certainly don't want to hijack this thread, but our experiences with gastric bypass are very different.

I wrote about both death and complications in my post, not death only and statistically, the complication rate is around 7%, death rates around 2%. For most people, there isn't anything to worry about, though I understand that your experience is different than most.

It is very useful for all of us to share our experiences, but I don't want mine diminished or called out as being untrue. Our truths boil down to what our personal experiences are.

I stand by everything I posted already. In fact, except for one person, out of probably 15 that I know personally that have had the surgery, there were no complications. The one person that I know that did have complications eventually got them worked out and is fine now.

I personally think the odds are much, much better than a crap shoot. (Especially considering that the larger "crapshoot" would be remaining morbidly obese...) If I thought that, I wouldn't have had the surgery in the first place. The fact is, and the science speaks louder than opinions, that this surgery is a good option for many people. There may be some that have a bad experience, and my heart goes out to them, and you, but serious complications are NOT the norm.

-Mike

LQQkn · 11-30-2007, 02:56 PM

Mike I'm going to address this... I don't see a disagreement about issues "two weeks of negativity" on the forum. If you do then so be it.. I am not going away from this forum any time soon so if you don't like my posts don't read them or respond to them. YOU and MY experience are very different yes.. but not so much from other people here suffering from nausea, vomiting, acid reflux, etc. You say you know 15 people.. do you know how many people are having gastric bypass surgery? I think the number I read out of one of the Times magazine was somewhere around 300,000 .. YEARLY...My complications (prior to reversal) are the norm... I just happen to have them more severe than others. It's a pretty serious surgery and the part I take offense to is how it's referred to as no biggie, nothing to worry about, etc etc. I also stand by my post Mike... plain and simple .... it is a crap shoot. There are only a handful of people on this forum that have had NO complications. I don't think THOSE odds are very good. Janie

Quote:

Originally Posted by fisher1000

Janie,

I don't want to start another two weeks of negativity on the forum and I certainly don't want to hijack this thread, but our experiences with gastric bypass are very different.

I wrote about both death and complications in my post, not death only and statistically, the complication rate is around 7%, death rates around 2%. For most people, there isn't anything to worry about, though I understand that your experience is different than most.

It is very useful for all of us to share our experiences, but I don't want mine diminished or called out as being untrue. Our truths boil down to what our personal experiences are.

I stand by everything I posted already. In fact, except for one person, out of probably 15 that I know personally that have had the surgery, there were no complications. The one person that I know that did have complications eventually got them worked out and is fine now.

I personally think the odds are much, much better than a crap shoot. (Especially considering that the larger "crapshoot" would be remaining morbidly obese...) If I thought that, I wouldn't have had the surgery in the first place. The fact is, and the science speaks louder than opinions, that this surgery is a good option for many people. There may be some that have a bad experience, and my heart goes out to them, and you, but serious complications are NOT the norm.

-Mike