My Daughter - ThinnerTimes

Groovey kinda Love · 05-21-2007, 07:33 PM

So many of you know my daughter and I are very close. We practicaly grew up together. Most of her life she only remembers me as being her fat momma, and now things have obviously changed. She is very happy for me that I have fineally reached a healthy weight and life style. BUT she now spends her days obsesing and comparing herself to me... most of you all have seen a picture of her and me together.... she is very beautiful but she doesn't see it. All she see's is imperfection and flaws, something that we all have... but for some reason now in her minds eye these imperfections have magnified multiple times but I don't know how to get her to see that she is very lovely and that her body build (being 5 foot tall and 108 lbs) is wonderful. She can't handle that once I have my TT I will be smaller than her. Her weight is muscle and she can't see that. How do I help her past this? How do I help her see that there is more to who she is than what stands before her mirrior?

LisaM · 05-21-2007, 08:11 PM

The glib answer, of course, is counseling... but she has to want it, and she has to recognize it's an issue. I hope the two of you can find a resolution.

bloomer001 · 05-21-2007, 09:14 PM

My mom was always small (we got her mouth and my dad's butt, nothing in life is fair!) So I can't help going from 'big' to small. But I can tell you even growing up big, my mother gave us such power and self confidence. I mean really, I weighed over 300 pounds and still went sky diving! Her spirt, her love for us (even when we were mouthy teenagers and didn't want it), her ability to 'push us out' and make us doing things on our own. These all made us the people we are today. I guess my point is the best thing (I think) you can do for her is love her, be there for her, and tell her how much you love and admire her. Let her know that she is your hero, that she is strong, and that she is one of the best human beings you know. My mother is now my hero, although I am adult enough to admit it took a while *smile* Her advise to me, "give those in your life the strength and confidence to take on the world like you are not there with them, but let them know that you will always be behind them, holding them up when they need it" (Of course this comes from the women who also taught us "If it has tires or testicles it's going to give you problems")

Sorry this is so long.

Groovey kinda Love · 05-23-2007, 07:45 PM

Thanks guys, I have been applying these princaples the last day or two.... it has been tough but sometimes even the best love is "tough love" you all are great!

MiladyB · 05-23-2007, 08:16 PM

Susie, I'm afraid I don't have words of advice. That isn't a struggle I seem to be having at this point with my girls but we shall see how they feel after my TT. They seem to be more excited for me right now than anything else and have never really been overly critical about how they look. It's so hard to see someone who is SO beautiful struggle with their body image.

Wish I had some words of wisdom for you but they seem to have escaped me tonight.

AlabamaChick · 05-24-2007, 11:16 AM

Susie, I will tell you what came to my mind when I first saw a pic of your daughter that you posted recently and you can tell her I said this....or let her read it if she wants. I looked at her and thought..."She is absolutely beautiful, I would love to be able to get my hair to look like hers. I hope my daughter grows into a beautiful young woman like her"! And I thought how lucky you are Susie to have her because I could see in your eyes in the pics together how close you two are. I even went back and looked at her pic again because I just LOVED her hair, trying to figure out what she did to make it that way. I don't know what can make her see it with her own eyes, but gosh darn it everyone else sees it!!!

Groovey kinda Love · 05-24-2007, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlabamaChick

Susie, I will tell you what came to my mind when I first saw a pic of your daughter that you posted recently and you can tell her I said this....or let her read it if she wants. I looked at her and thought..."She is absolutely beautiful, I would love to be able to get my hair to look like hers. I hope my daughter grows into a beautiful young woman like her"! And I thought how lucky you are Susie to have her because I could see in your eyes in the pics together how close you two are. I even went back and looked at her pic again because I just LOVED her hair, trying to figure out what she did to make it that way. I don't know what can make her see it with her own eyes, but gosh darn it everyone else sees it!!!

Trina, I agree with you whole heartedly. Val takes great pride in her hair, she spends lots of money on hair supplies and the beautician. The day that pic was taken we had gone to our favorite beautician in town and had our hair done and brows waxed. Thanks for the kind words! I do wish Val could see it and just love herself for who she is. And your right we are very close, her hubby can't understand it, he just can't comprehend the fact that mother and daughter could be as close as we are.