A couple days before my initial appt.

The past couple weeks I have been trying to read and much as I can about Gastric Bypass. It has completely consumed my thoughts. I attended a seminar given by the surgeon on February 17th and I have my initial appointment on February 28th. I have been scrambling to try and get all the paperwork together for my insurance, the biggest hurdle is the weight record for the past 5 years. I was so embarassed about my weight that I have not really gone to a primary care physician for years but I have been spending ridiculous amounts of money on phen-fen and stuff for quite a while. I have found some records from the different diet doctors that I have been to but I am still waiting for at least one year of records from storage. It amazes me that after all the money I have spent (THOUSANDS!!) at their offices on diet pills and shots and whatever else, they would actually charge me to write a letter of necessity and to provide copies of my records. It feels like they are bitter that I may not be contributing to their money making scheme anymore so they have to squeeze every last dime out of me.

I just want to be free from this weight loss industry trap and be able to live a healthy, happy, active life. I don't want to see the commercials on TV and think "ooh maybe that will work for me".

I know I sound bitter and I guess I am to a certain extent but after years of feeling like a failure because of my weight I am ready to be done with this and move on to the next phase of my life.

Now all I can do is wait for the initial appointment and hope everything goes well with my insurance.