to weigh or what to weigh ???
I have been doing a lot of soul searching in regards to my weight and what should I weigh and where will this "ride" stop.
I took a internet test on yahoo that told you what your "happy" weight should be. It asked a few questions and came back with that weight. The results were 140.2 lbs for me (which is just inside the normal BMI range for my height).
So of course I have been thinking (dwelling) on when will the honeymoon end. Could I be happy right here at 177? I am still obese, but more average/normal looking than I have ever been in my adult life. Or will I be able to continue to 150, or 140 or even my dream of 130?
I know that logically, all of these thoughts are part of my fear of failure. I am so desperate to finally be a normal weight. I am hung up on the number. A woman at my support meeting last month said she lost 99 lbs and she now weighs 150. Boy, I would have thought she was lighter than that. She's one of the people who have warned me about getting stuck on the numbers. It's the same game as with the scale and the calorie counting. I am worried if I do not keep all of the numbers in line, that I will not be successful.
And then I remembered that one of the criteria for being considered a succcess after surgery was losing 60% - 75% of the excess weight and maintaining that loss. Well that means I am nearly there. To lose 60 % would mean I would weigh 170 (ish) and 75 % would be 150 (ish). So in 4 months I am nearly there. Then I only need to maintain, which is something I never was able to do....
I am making myself crazy, but the thoughts will not go away..
I took a internet test on yahoo that told you what your "happy" weight should be. It asked a few questions and came back with that weight. The results were 140.2 lbs for me (which is just inside the normal BMI range for my height).
So of course I have been thinking (dwelling) on when will the honeymoon end. Could I be happy right here at 177? I am still obese, but more average/normal looking than I have ever been in my adult life. Or will I be able to continue to 150, or 140 or even my dream of 130?
I know that logically, all of these thoughts are part of my fear of failure. I am so desperate to finally be a normal weight. I am hung up on the number. A woman at my support meeting last month said she lost 99 lbs and she now weighs 150. Boy, I would have thought she was lighter than that. She's one of the people who have warned me about getting stuck on the numbers. It's the same game as with the scale and the calorie counting. I am worried if I do not keep all of the numbers in line, that I will not be successful.
And then I remembered that one of the criteria for being considered a succcess after surgery was losing 60% - 75% of the excess weight and maintaining that loss. Well that means I am nearly there. To lose 60 % would mean I would weigh 170 (ish) and 75 % would be 150 (ish). So in 4 months I am nearly there. Then I only need to maintain, which is something I never was able to do....
I am making myself crazy, but the thoughts will not go away..
Total Comments 3
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hi lizzie. my name is valerie. im 22 and i had surgery january of 08. i was 230lbs. as of now i flucuate between 148-150. and reading this blog, i thought it was me writting it. i feel the same exact way u do. before i had the surgery i felt like i didnt think about food half the time i do now. everytime i put something in my mouth i look in the mirrior to see if it shows (not literally everytime, but u know) i feel as though after a year i should be at least 135 or 140 at least. for the past couple months ive only lost 5 lbs and i go to the gym 4-5 times a week. i think ive become one of those people who are "stuck on numbers" as u said. i remember having to go out every week and buy new clothes and now i havent had to buy a new pair of jeans since the summer. one day i'm happy with the way i look and feel, the next i'm not.
the main reason why i joined this site is because i wanted to see if anyone else felt the way i do. too bad theres not a magic word out smack in the face out there to snap us out of it! haha u look great though!! and even though u dont want to hear it, dont stress urself out. i kno i sound like a hypocrit huh? haha but thank u for this post and the thoughts wont go away for me either, so maybe we can just talk it out! |
 
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you know what? i think about that all the time too!!
and i just started my journey. |
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I know how you feel, I am 5 months post op and down 73 pounds, my last weigh in I was 174 and looking pretty good. I have been exercising so I have good muscle and if I tell anyone how much I weigh they are surprised that it is that much, they say I look smaller than that. I recently had a conversation with my primary care doctor on what weight I should be achieving. He said for me to be in the healthy BMI range of 19-24% at 5'4' I should weigh between 119-140. To reach 140 I will need to lose a total of 107 pounds. I told him I started with a BMI of 42%, right now I am at 30% and doing well and healthy, what is wrong at staying where I am at. He said not to settle for just being good, I need to finish this and get in the healthy range. I like you feel like a slave to the number, like I will finally reach my true self when the scale says I am good enough. I have lost weight in the past, an obviously never been successful with the maintenance so that will be the key element for me. It sounds like you have your head in the game. I recently received a bracelet, a gift from a friend that say Embrace the journey, and that is exactly what I am going to do.
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Recent Blog Entries by LizzieShell
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- Nearly 9 months (07-27-2009)
- 8 months out ... (07-14-2009)
