Who's yard stick is it anyway ????

I have asked this question many times over the last year or so. I find that I continually measure myself against some standard that I don't even know how it was set. Who's damn yard stick is it and why do I feel the need to be measured or measure myself against it. It seems that I continue to set myself up for failure by compare myself to this "thing" - whatever it is.... Logically I know that you can not compare people as everyone's personal experience is what makes everyone unique.

Never the less, I find that I compare myself to others on every front. Looks, weight, brains, money, things .... and I am always disappointed. Where does that come from? I will never be able to be happy in my life at this rate. And I really don't understand how I got started on this path. And more to the point, how to I get off of it!! I know it's a path to self-destruction and misery.

I have no sense of satisfaction or contentment at all. When I see someone else with something "shiny" and new, I want to be happy for them, but I feel envy and jealousy. I am sure that I am the only one who knows, cause I try very hard not to that it show.

I have worked hard and have a good job. But I do have a terrible sense of budgeting and I spend too much. I end up feeling like a failure so much of the time in many areas. I am not sure where I thought I would be in my life at 48 years old, but in this space and time is not it. I have to find resolution or I will die one unhappy soul full of regret and sadness. How do I break the yard stick?