Nearly 9 months
Posted 07-27-2009 at 06:56 PM by LizzieShell
It will be 9 months to the day of my surgery on Friday 7/31, and I am afraid.
I am afraid of the things I know I can eat, I am afraid of my lack of control over the food and my emotions. I am afraid of gaining weight.
I thought I knew. I really thought that I would not have this problem. What was I thinking? How dumb am I? I used to read other people's journeys and read their struggles and strife, and I thought not me...
Yeah, no .. thought wrong. my emotions are not my friend and food is still the support and crutch that I reach for. I can't say that food is the enemy, cause I know it's not. It's my inability to control my thoughts, emotions and incorrect actions or reactions.
I am hopeful that the therapy group I have found, or it found me - I am unsure which - will help me. Trying to unlearn some of the automatic responses I have will be a challenge. Mindfulness, distress tolerance and emotional regulation will be tough skills to master. But if I am to be successful using my WLS tool, I will need to master the other skills. I fear that without them I will fail. I am hopeful that these skills will also assist me in other areas of my life; with work, friends and family.
One step at a time on this path, one step at a time.
I am afraid of the things I know I can eat, I am afraid of my lack of control over the food and my emotions. I am afraid of gaining weight.
I thought I knew. I really thought that I would not have this problem. What was I thinking? How dumb am I? I used to read other people's journeys and read their struggles and strife, and I thought not me...
Yeah, no .. thought wrong. my emotions are not my friend and food is still the support and crutch that I reach for. I can't say that food is the enemy, cause I know it's not. It's my inability to control my thoughts, emotions and incorrect actions or reactions.
I am hopeful that the therapy group I have found, or it found me - I am unsure which - will help me. Trying to unlearn some of the automatic responses I have will be a challenge. Mindfulness, distress tolerance and emotional regulation will be tough skills to master. But if I am to be successful using my WLS tool, I will need to master the other skills. I fear that without them I will fail. I am hopeful that these skills will also assist me in other areas of my life; with work, friends and family.
One step at a time on this path, one step at a time.
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