Dreams keep our hopes alive long enough to be realized.

I never thought that I would be here, where I am now. I never thought that I would ever have control of my life. From early on everything I did was always in vain. I could never be the best, I was always the odd one out, always the biggest...and I had no control over it. Its like mother nature had given all the kids recess except me. I wasn't allowed.

A year ago I would never had imagined being approved for and getting the surgery. I knew about it, I had read a lot about it the previous year, but it cost money and I felt like I would never qualify. I saw it as the last chance to get my life back after having tried everything else short of starvation...but even that was kept out of my reach. I wasn't allowed.

I have always been the person people come to, ever since I was in elementary school. Because I never got to do the "cool" things, I often stayed back and just absorbed my surrounds and situation. Because of that people came to me asking for advice because I was a very thoughtful person. I decided that if I can't be that famous basket ball player because my asthma kept me out of breath, or that police officer because I was too overweight to ever qualify then I would be the guy that could solve problems. So thats what I did, I solved problems.

I studied up on Psychology in high school and made it my major in college. I am in my 4th year now and its been tough. I've never forgotten my hope of being one of the proud people in blue that protect people from all the wrong doings of this world, But I figured that being a psychologist would allow me to still help people...though from behind a desk then behind a wheel. Then...this surgery happened.

Never did I believe that I would be given a chance to take control of my life. Never did I think that I could take my health and improve it. I cried on the day I was told I had been approved because to me I didn't hear the words "You are cleared for surgery". I heard the words "You can take control of your life now. You are allowed to do what you've always wanted".

So once I am allowed, I plan on starting a workout regime to get my self in the best possible shape I can, and once I graduate college and am ready, I plan to admit myself to the Police Academy up here in Alaska. I never believed I would ever had control...no thats the wrong word. I never believed that I would finally be free of the weight that tied me down for so long, free to do what I've always wanted to do!

My spirit burns like a passionate fire now that I am faced with this task. I will not fail in my goal to lose weight. The old me is gone now, replaced with the ability to forge my own destiny. I will set my eyes on the goal, and it is because of my dreams, my desire, my hope to become better that I am not able to finally realize it.