http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/ Gastric bypass discussion forum and Lap-BandŽ forum for WLS patients. en Sun, 07 Sep 2008 02:19:49 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/ http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/abbie717/467-surgery-27-days.html Sat, 06 Sep 2008 21:30:04 GMT I am feeling really wierd. I have read and read information from lots of websites and support bloggers. The one that scares me most is the WLS gone wrong. Most of the entries begin with ... 2 years out from surgery (something) has begun to happen. :confused: I am feeling really wierd. I have read and read information from lots of websites and support bloggers. The one that scares me most is the WLS gone wrong. Most of the entries begin with ... 2 years out from surgery (something) has begun to happen. :confused: ]]> abbie717 http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/abbie717/467-surgery-27-days.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/heidiw/466-feeling-soooo-emotional.html Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:52:15 GMT I have been so up & down lately that it is driving me insane. Most people who know know that I am not the type to hug, cry, but I am a very happy person who rarely complains.

Since August everything is out of wack!! I complain at work about things that are so stupid. I want to cry just talking about the fall quarter that is just about to start. I am always tired.

My other bad is that I haven't been eating very much (one meal a day). This isn't by choice but I just don't think about it. I am trying to eat healthy but I have been reaching for junk food lately when really stressed. Luckily I have half a mind to monitor my weight & try to work out as much as I can.

Knowing that my surgery date is Dec 15th I know I know that I need to get my weight down more & keep my eye on what is most important. I am still in therapy but I went back to weekly appt. because I on the verge of cracking which is not good.

I know things will get better but it is hard sometimes to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I believe writing on here will help me to get focused. I have lots of support & I think that is why everyone around me has been letting me be. They know that this is not me & that things are difficult right now. ]]> heidiw http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/heidiw/466-feeling-soooo-emotional.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/heidiw/465-first-time-blogging.html Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:21:21 GMT Well I thought I would start blogging here being it would help with some of my stress. Back in Feb. 08 I started my journey to having surgery. I weighed over 330lbs & made my goal weight very quickly. I have had support from everyone in my life including my job. I was also attending thereapy to work on me. My visits were every week. Then I met my surgeon I was excited because I knew I was that much closer. Next I met with the psych doctor & cleared it. Finally I got the approval letter during the summer. My husband also purchased our first home. The hubby was nervous about buying a home but I told him everything would be ok. Since purchasing our home my husband has had health issues & truck issues. He is a auto transport driver who was driving a truck from hell!!! The truck was always breaking down especially when he was away from home. Then I recieved notice that my surgery date is going to be Dec. 15th. Right now my weight is 290lbs. I was doing really good until I was required to take 2 weeks off with out pay. I work for the state as an 11 month employee & cannot even get unemployment. My next time I am required to do this is in Dec the day of my surgery. I will not be allowed to return to work until the end of the month. Anyways we have had a bad month going on two. We've borrowed what money we could from my parents. My brother in law bounced a check to us which caused us to $600.00 in over draft fees. When I finally went back to work my husbands income dropped so my that his check today was for $43.00. I've asked my supervisor to make me full time year around. She was going to do it until she got notice from her boss that we had to cut 100k from our budget thanks to our stupid govener (sp?). So I basically was having a nervous breakdown & my therapist is not charging me to see her because I am on the edge. At this point our house payment has not been made & we don't know where we are going to get the money from to pay our bills. My husband is doing everything he can but his health is not great. I decided today to find a part time job to help with the bills. My boss was in shock & worried I would quit. I would never do that because I love my job, co-workers, & students. So out of the blue my boss tells me she went straight to the president of the college & laid it on the line with him. She told him that I am the back bone to the department. She said that I give so much of myself to my job that I deserve this. So he said that he was going to see what he what he could do to make it work. I was in shock she went straight to the top but I will be always be greatful no matter what the decision is. I also had a job interview today which they were aware of. I started getting back on track & I am maintaining my weight but I am getting very little sleep right now. I typed this out to help get my frustrations out. I know that everything will work itself out some how. I know that we are only given what we can handle but I draw the line at some point. lol ]]> heidiw http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/heidiw/465-first-time-blogging.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/bucwild/464-frustration.html Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:43:15 GMT Well this blogs title says it all.. Frustration due to mainly 3 things.. The cannot go below 40 bmi, as explained in the prior blog post along with the fear of denial from insurance. I had to pay a total of 375 dollars to take part in this program , now my fear is that i get denied and wham i loose that 375. Now i am not rich and that money could have been used for other things rather than this. I mean i am only 3 months into my 6 month program and it weighs in my mind heavily Well this blogs title says it all.. Frustration due to mainly 3 things.. The cannot go below 40 bmi, as explained in the prior blog post along with the fear of denial from insurance. I had to pay a total of 375 dollars to take part in this program , now my fear is that i get denied and wham i loose that 375. Now i am not rich and that money could have been used for other things rather than this. I mean i am only 3 months into my 6 month program and it weighs in my mind heavily ]]> BuCwiLd http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/bucwild/464-frustration.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/chunkypeanut71/463-4-months-out-surgery.html Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:53:57 GMT Well Im 4 mo. out from surgery and doing good. Im down about 40 lbs and feeling really good. Lost about 4 sizes and even my feet are smaller. Im doing really good except for sometimes I have to "slime" which is almost like coughing up a fur ball, its disgusting but Im working through it. Ive only had 2 fills from surgery but Im doing great.:D ]]> Chunkypeanut71 http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/chunkypeanut71/463-4-months-out-surgery.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/bucwild/462-such-weird-spot.html Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:45:28 GMT Well today i called my doctors office and spoke to them just to ask the question about my weight loss and got bad news. I was told to only loose 5 percent of my weight, now i have lost the 15 lbs they require. But i sill have 3 months left in the program and i cant loose anymore.. This is crazy! i have to maintain the wait i am at now.. i cant gain or loose weight. I mean i can gain it but i must loose it again before final weigh in. It frustrates me because that just shows how much the insurance industry rules the world.. I cant lose more than 15 because it would put me under 40 bmi and thus i wont be covered Well today i called my doctors office and spoke to them just to ask the question about my weight loss and got bad news. I was told to only loose 5 percent of my weight, now i have lost the 15 lbs they require. But i sill have 3 months left in the program and i cant loose anymore.. This is crazy! i have to maintain the wait i am at now.. i cant gain or loose weight. I mean i can gain it but i must loose it again before final weigh in. It frustrates me because that just shows how much the insurance industry rules the world.. I cant lose more than 15 because it would put me under 40 bmi and thus i wont be covered ]]> BuCwiLd http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/bucwild/462-such-weird-spot.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/eli_far77/461-secret-1.html Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:14:56 GMT ...well not really a secret but...I weigh myself EVERYDAY...sometimes 3 times a day! :D

So this is what I figured out...pre-op I never, I mean NEVER, got on the scale. Why? Because I was afraid...afraid the scale wouldn't read my weight because I was over the limit...afraid to see that 300+ number...afraid of being aware of reality.

Since I never checked my weight before...it was like the problem was not there:rolleyes:.

Now, I fell like I must weigh myself because I want to be aware and know if my weight is changing. Sure I could gauge weight gain in other wasy such as the way my clothes fit or by using a meauring tape...but nah, I prefer the scale...it's more convenient (sp?) and gives me instant feedback.

Lately I have been noticing a slight weightloss...and I can't figure out why? LOL I really haven't done much to cause the loss...not that I'm not happy about it, just weirded out because I haven't lost a pound in months! Hmm...but I'm 3 pounds away from goal!! ]]> eli_far77 http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/eli_far77/461-secret-1.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/eli_far77/460-feeling.html Thu, 04 Sep 2008 00:06:10 GMT Today, I got a message from a gb friend and she writes: "you are so gorgous....ever feel like your fat again?? ugh i do:("

My response was...I have never stopped feeling fat! I know this topic has been discussed many times on the forum and it has been establish that "it takes a while for the brain to catch up" and that "we didn't have surgery on our brains", etc.

So yea, I feel bad reading that type of comment from other gb friends and then finding out that they have gained a bit. I'm helpless...I can only give them encouragment to get back on track. While if I say or think that same thought...I'll get stuck on it.

It's strange the thought of "feeling" fat but not actually "being" fat. I know I'm not "fat" like I was and probably not fat by anyone else's opinion but I STILL FEEL IT. I know crazy, this thing will just keeps going in circles in my head. So I just try not to think about it. Shopping helps...to actually shop at a regular store with single digit sizes and fitting into mediums better than in large sizes is an amazing feeling. It's one I cannot get used to but that I really do love. :D

So anyway, I'll never stop feeling fat. I wonder if it'll ever go away or if it's some kind of "padding" (I dunno how else to put it) for when I do fail (just in case, nothing lasts forever or what's that other saying...ah I forgot!) then I won't feel so bad. :o

I'm rambling...better go. :rolleyes: ]]> eli_far77 http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/eli_far77/460-feeling.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/nyn/459-update-food-addiction-ambush.html Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:58:51 GMT Wow, it's amazing how quickly I turned back to my "normal" eating habits. My tummy didn't like a lot of the junk food :o I still don't dump, but boy was my pouch letting me know that it will let me go just so far...but no further. That's awesome! Also, during the work week (i.e. today), it was easy to get back into my eating schedule and bring those calories right back down. I actually am too low today, and have so far only had 1038 calories and 50g protein. That's 200 calories fewer than I usually have, and at least 10g protein too few. It is almost midnight, so too late to try to get in more. sigh. The balance can be hard to maintain. Just when I start to get complacent I realize I'm still not getting it all right.

Life long battle, right?


In job search news, I still haven't heard from the potential job that started checking my references on Friday, but I did get called for a second interview for yet another job in which I'm interested. So, I have an interview tomorrow morning in Sacramento, then next Monday I have two interviews in Sacramento, so I'll have to take the entire day off work for that. Should be interesting. I think that even if I land that potential job that I will still go on the second interview for that other job, but might cancel the other one for that day. If that sentence makes any sense at all. I'm too tired to try to untangle it now, LOL. Going to bed now with my laptop to try to study some more for tomorrow's interview. (And maybe I'll allow myself a few sips of scotch to make the subject matter more fun, LOL. Can you tell how excited I'm not? :p) ]]> Nyn http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/nyn/459-update-food-addiction-ambush.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/szar/458-rub-dub-dub.html Mon, 01 Sep 2008 20:52:01 GMT I was just taking my second shower of the day and really got to thinking (not about that you perverts). It was a very hot day, and as is the case with very hot days, I sweat. I sweat a lot. So I usually end up taking a couple of showers so as to ward off discomfort, both mine and others. As I was skillfully guiding my Irish Spring into the great divide (again get your mind out of the gutter, not that great divide) between the folds in my gut I stopped and fear struck me. I have been investigating this procedure a lot. I have read this forum thoroughly as well as a ton of other websites. I have watched Big Medicine and a host of other shows. I have even watched the surgery several times (the best is here). Now given all of that I was still pretty gung ho. I know what I am getting myself into, and I know the risks, and I have been absolutely OK with that. But today I found myself looking at that "in between" part. I have pondered the somewhat distant future, and I am intimate with the present, but I have not really thought too much about what happens between surgery and skydiving -- other than dietary requirements, etc. The thing that got me today was skin. On Big Medicine the other night they featured a school principal who had gastric bypass and has been very successful. She was covered with sagging skin as a result of her great weight loss. Even though she gaining health, she was not gaining self esteem. If I have to shower twice a day now what am I going to do with a bunch of sagging skin. With even more folds how much more work is it going to be to keep things clean and healthy? The woman on Big Medicine had surgery to remove the extra skin, but I wonder if my insurance company is going to be as helpful with it comes time.

So it comes down to one of the classic fights in my head. fear and anxiety versus determination. Fear is of course natural and expected. One does not enter into having someone hop into their gut root around for a bit rearranging their insides lightly. There are significant consequences and a lot of work to be done, it is not an easy road. And I have read and reread the maps and studied the routes and the thought of a healthier and fuller life far outweigh the consequences. I have read a thousand horror stories. I know the possibilities of stricture, dumping, vomiting, blood clots and emboli, death, etc. (can you "etc" death?). But I have also read ten thousand stories of lives changed and knowing completely the risks choose the surgery and in doing so choose life.

The other classical battle that goes on in my mind is one of the reasons I am determined to get this tool. There are two things that motivate man (women are far more complicated and I would not even dare to speak for them). Men are motivated by food and sex (I know, I will wait for those of you who fainted to reawaken). I am motivated by food and sex. Unfortunately they must be in balance in order to coexist. Food has long since pinned sex to the matt and has held it there. I want what everyone wants, to be in a real relationship that leads to a real connection for life. Unfortunately, food has so battered sex leaving it bruised and battered, that it cannot function. I have tried to help sex get up off the ground and into the ring to actually fight, but I have failed. If I jump up on the ropes and grab the tool that WLS is going to give me I will be able to give food the beat down and live a longer life, hopefully with someone who will love life as much as I will. ]]> szar http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/szar/458-rub-dub-dub.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/hopefulten/457-i-have-first-appt-date.html Mon, 01 Sep 2008 01:21:26 GMT After much research and waiting I have my first appt with a Weightloss surg.09/08/08:D I've been working on the hugh pack of paperwork they sent me. I told my mom that I was thinking of having WLS and my boyfriend knows but not my uncle or sister. I don't know what they'd think. School is not going so well. Before I thought I needed to change careers away from Purchasing but I really miss working. Largely I miss having money and going places. All in all I really like purchasing. So I'm thinking of taking a couple months off school, looking for a job and see if I'm more at peace with that. Wish me luck ]]> hopefulten http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/hopefulten/457-i-have-first-appt-date.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/patti703/456-9-days-post-surgery.html Sun, 31 Aug 2008 16:04:08 GMT I made it through the lapband procedure, and am on day 9 of the post-op diet. I made it through the lapband procedure, and am on day 9 of the post-op diet. ]]> patti703 http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/patti703/456-9-days-post-surgery.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/nyn/455-food-addiction-ambush.html Sat, 30 Aug 2008 23:34:42 GMT (Ok, my computer seriously hates me! This is the 3rd time typing an ever-shorter version of this post! Arg! Wish I had money to take the laptop into the shop...guess my computer has an addiction for eating my posts. heh.)

I had a bad day yesterday and ended up buying some junk food. Nothing nearly as bad as I would've done over a year ago, but still not great: 100-calorie packs of Doritos, a single serving size of Lucky Charms, a box of egg and sausage breakfast sandwiches, Weight Watchers calzones, sugar free Reese's cups (which I didn't even know they made), and the worst thing, a pint of Haagen Dazs chocolate peanut butter ice cream. It could've been much worse, but I still hate what it says about my emotional eating food issues.

Food addiction is a lifelong thing, I know. It doesn't make it any easier that unlike other addictions, human beings cannot go cold turkey from food. They haven't invented food vitamins yet, more's the pity. But since I've been so good over the last year, I guess I got cocky and thought I was more "cured" than I am. Didn't stop me from having a 1/3 of a cup of Haagen Dazs after all.

Food is warm, safe, comfortable and life is harsh without its protection. I guess I just wanted a little of that protection back when I was down and reeling from life's blows. After spending hours thinking about this, I realize that I am also a little angry about being denied some of the pleasures of participating in some of the cultural food traditions. For example: I always see skinny girls who have their period/broke up with a boyfriend/have a mean boss get to eat pizza or chocolate or otherwise have a food break from life. It's just not safe for me to do that, despite the fact of my rotten day yesterday, which included starting my period a couple of days early, which is making today pretty rotten, too (effing cramps!!!). Not to mention the typical hormonal cravings, which I'm not entirely convinced aren't culturally induced into our brains in the first place. My inner screaming 12-year-old is stomping her feet and clutching a Tampax in one hand and a tube of Pringles in the other. Not pretty!

So now I have junk food in the house, some of which I admit that I've already dug into. The rest I'm pretty sure I'm going to give to my mom. She should understand. Sure wish I had more dumping symptoms than just some stomach cramps to keep me from eating this stuff...but life shouldn't be that easy, I guess. Time for more emotional brain surgery. I'm determined to shed my warm and fuzzy food blanket forever one of these days!! :( ]]> Nyn http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/nyn/455-food-addiction-ambush.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/agodewey/454-update.html Sat, 30 Aug 2008 04:54:12 GMT Wow, I can't believe that it has been so long since I have posted.

Well, since my last post I've had my surgery approved on 8/14/08 and scheduled for 9/19/08. I have my pre-op appointment with the surgeon in only a couple of days (9/4/08) and I am getting nervous all the time. The nervousness is starting to effect my wife, and she has noticed that I have been more quick to anger and frustration than before. I have to admit that I have hurt her feelings too many times.

My weight loss continues, with a brief hiatus, and now at a slower pace, I think? My PCP really got on me at my last appointment for not doing my walking like I was supposed to, so I started in a few days ago and I do it every week. I'm doing it in the morning, as suggested to me by my support group leader, Ann. She said that if you do it at the begining of the day, life cannot work itself in the way or you have more time to come up with excuses why you can't do it. I just couldn't seem to get on top of the drinking thing, so I broke down and bought a "Bubba Keg" that holds just a little more than 64oz. (the amount I was told was a recommended minimum per day). Since then I have done much better and I am even, on some days, like today, drinking more than the full keg during the course of the day.

I am having two major struggles lately. One is the fact that I can't seem to keep to an eating plan, so I rush through meals and don't watch my portions. I have had a suggestion from one of my friends online that I should prepare my food the night before and put it in an igloo cooler that I can take with me. This way there are no excuses for not following planned meals and pre-set portions. As far as rushing through my eating, if it is already preparred, it will take less time for meal time. The second problem is the relationship with my wife. I am working hard to do all the right things to lose weight and prepare for the surgery, and she is doing all the things to gain weight and sabbotage my surgery (i.e. fast food, eating junk food in the house and around me, and sleeping most of the time). I don't tell her just how much it troubles me, because I am afraid I will come off angry and hurtful. I am going to seek the advise of our counselor tomorrow. I know part of it is the fact that on 8/19/08 we were in an accident where the car behind us hit us while we were standing still in stopped traffic. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt, so the impact really did a number on her back. We both go to a Chiropractor three times a week to get our backs back in shape.

One other thing that I am struggling with is our home. It is a mess, and we both don't seem to do anything about it. I am not working on it because I feel like I'm the only person working on things around here, and I am not sure why she doesn't seem to be able to help. I am worried about her. She is at an all time high for her weight and doesn't seem to do anything about it. She has told me that after the stress of the surgery is past, she will do better, but I fear that things might get worse rather than better. I guess that is another issue for the counselor.

Tonight I am dealing with a little bit of hunger. I ate an optifast about an hour ago (my last for the day) and I am still feeling a bit hungry. I am working on drinking some extra fluid to possibly curb the hunger.

Well that's about enough for this post. It seems very long again. I'll have to work on saying things in a more concise manner.

Thanks for those of you who are reading, and feel free to PM me any words of wisdom, or opinions that you think might help. Good night. ]]> agodewey http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/agodewey/454-update.html http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/ivana/453-i-finally-did.html Fri, 29 Aug 2008 22:45:34 GMT I have a special situation in my job. I am a personal assistant and my job is wonderful. My boss is a very health conscious older gentleman who is in fabulous shape and has always lived a life of wellness and health. Unlike myself who is 42 years old and a 100 pounds overweight. I was having a personal dilema if I should tell him about my surgery and just request my vacation time or just come clean and be open about the 12 month process i have just completed. I decided to come clean and have the "discussion". He was very understanding. Since then everyday he has been having discussions with me about the WLS and his own ideas about it and today he left me some paperwork on the proper way to eat. I respect his views and concerns, but my mind is made up and I have a feeling that he will become mad if i go thru with my plan. This is putting extra pressure on me. When we spoke it wasn't up for discussion it was more of an informational chat. I am holding toght with my well thought out planned decision for surgery. I think i should have gone with option #1 and kept my mouth shut. my surgery date is 10/6 and i am so excited, this feels right for me. I can understand why it might seem extreme for those who have not had to walk this path. ]]> ivana http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/blogs/ivana/453-i-finally-did.html