This is my blog diary of my weight loss journey.
The reason I named it "Driving Sideways" is after the Aimee Mann song, "Driving Sideways." I like all kinds of music but the lyrics in this song in particular always made me envision being in a car. "Thin Everleigh" driving and "Fat Everleigh" reclined in the passenger seat.
I've always felt like a thin person underneath the weight.. the thin Everleigh I was supposed to be. I allow my fat unhealthy Everleigh sit back and do nothing and continue to guide me wrong (while assuming no responsibility for where I end up.)
I'm trying to drop off Fat Everleigh at her destination and continue down the road with just the thin me driving the car and making decisions.
The reason I named it "Driving Sideways" is after the Aimee Mann song, "Driving Sideways." I like all kinds of music but the lyrics in this song in particular always made me envision being in a car. "Thin Everleigh" driving and "Fat Everleigh" reclined in the passenger seat.
I've always felt like a thin person underneath the weight.. the thin Everleigh I was supposed to be. I allow my fat unhealthy Everleigh sit back and do nothing and continue to guide me wrong (while assuming no responsibility for where I end up.)
I'm trying to drop off Fat Everleigh at her destination and continue down the road with just the thin me driving the car and making decisions.
I am having a major tantrum / vent party & you're invited
Posted 02-03-2010 at 09:20 PM by everleigh
I just have to vent. I'm so irritable I actually got concerned this afternoon I was pregnant (I'm not, btw.)
My main problem still is my so called established surgery date.
Two weeks prior to surgery I must be off of my Adderall (A.D.D.) medicine and taking enough calcium to harden the bones of 20 athletes. I can do all of this. But not knowing if I'll be able to get the surgery in 2 weeks and then have to go two more weeks? I don't know if I can do that.
You see, I've been off my Adderall before, when I was pregnant. I can do it when necessary. This week I started taking it every other day as my dr recommended to come off of it & I've been miserable. Tired, unfocused, lathargic and mad at myself for it. I don't want to go through this if I don't have surgery in 2 weeks.
Then I wanted to move surgery back a week & dh said no! He cannot take a Wednesday -Friday off. He's barely able to take a Thursday & Friday off. It's not his fault & he's the only one working right now so I can't complain. I'm just feeling so out of control with everything.
I am SO over the vitamins I'm supposed to be taking. I took it faithfully since prescribed until today. I feel very guilty but I am sick to death of going to the bathroom all day... I'm not kidding you, at least 3-4 hours a day.. then another hr at night. It's ridiculous. If I don't get approved on the 17th for sugery on the 18th I will lose my mind.
My main problem still is my so called established surgery date.
Two weeks prior to surgery I must be off of my Adderall (A.D.D.) medicine and taking enough calcium to harden the bones of 20 athletes. I can do all of this. But not knowing if I'll be able to get the surgery in 2 weeks and then have to go two more weeks? I don't know if I can do that.
You see, I've been off my Adderall before, when I was pregnant. I can do it when necessary. This week I started taking it every other day as my dr recommended to come off of it & I've been miserable. Tired, unfocused, lathargic and mad at myself for it. I don't want to go through this if I don't have surgery in 2 weeks.
Then I wanted to move surgery back a week & dh said no! He cannot take a Wednesday -Friday off. He's barely able to take a Thursday & Friday off. It's not his fault & he's the only one working right now so I can't complain. I'm just feeling so out of control with everything.
I am SO over the vitamins I'm supposed to be taking. I took it faithfully since prescribed until today. I feel very guilty but I am sick to death of going to the bathroom all day... I'm not kidding you, at least 3-4 hours a day.. then another hr at night. It's ridiculous. If I don't get approved on the 17th for sugery on the 18th I will lose my mind.
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I so understand where you are coming from. I started my journey 1 year ago(2009) and guess what i just got approved the end of January 2010. I understand the whole thing about the husband as well I told my hubby that my surgery was scheduled for a Tuesday and you know he had the nerve to say can't you do it on a Thursday when I'm off... I wanted so bad to say you A@#hole, I have been trying to get this done for over a year and now you want to me to reschedule because you don't want to take a couple of days off even though you have over 500 hours of PTO... What the hell..... But don't give up or get discouraged everything will work out.... I will keep my fingers crossed..
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Recent Blog Entries by everleigh
- Taking the big test again today (03-16-2010)
- Better and bitter (03-13-2010)
- I'm cheating on my fake pre-op diet already (03-03-2010)
- March WLS Madness Begins! (03-01-2010)
- Mild Trial Run (02-25-2010)
