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10 "weird" WLS behaviors you may find yourself doing...don't feel alone

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nestingdoll

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Oh, we've all been to those wretched team building outings....playing "get to know you" bonding games with the mean girls in the next office or the jocks in the next cubicle. Undoubtedly, you were asked to complete ropes courses blindfolded or lift one of your coworkers using one finger each. (Complete nightmare scenarios!!)

But, there's a part of those team-building sessions that simply intrigues me...the part where, by some sort of interactive questioning, you find out How much you have in common with others. 

Last night, my best friend (that grew up across the country from this army brat) revealed to me that, as a child, she would also stick the Chiquita banana sticker to her forehead, between her eyebrows, where it belongs. I was stunned, thinking that me and my sisters were the only weirdos that fought over that darn sticker, the winner triumphantly strutting out of the grocery store ahead of the tearful runners up.

Then it dawned on me.....what if my weirdness isn't actual weirdness. What is my strange behavior is actually widespread. So, friends, let's play a game....be sure to copy and paste your answers, so we can all see how we common our "odd" WLS behavior is:

(answer yes or no....and feel free to add your own peculariarities to your answer list)

1. Have you ever stood in the mirror, sideways, and tried like heck to pull your stomach behind you, so you'll see what you eventually look like??

2. Have you ever sucked in your cheeks and stretched your face toward your ears on both sides, trying to see what your thinner face will look like?

3. Have you ever worried that the loose skin under your chin will someday look like a V? (Mostly because that's what happened to the character Fat B****** on Austin Powers---still can't get that line out of my head)

4.  Have you ever played  the "Honey, am I her size?" game with your significant other or basically anyone else that will play with you?

5. Have you ever weighed yourself before AND after going #2, to see if it makes you lose a little more that day?? 

6. Have you ever tried on a garment of your child or much-smaller spouse just to see if it would zip?

7. Have you ever celebrated because the weight you gave to the DMV to put on your driver's license is no longer a lie?? (Still my favorite NSV)

8. Have you ever played with a BMI calculator to see exactly how many pounds you'd have to lose in order to be considered "underweight" if for only a moment?? (Okay, maybe this one is just me...)

9. Have you ever wanted to buy a plane ticket just because you no longer need the seat belt extensions?

10. Have you ever had people take naked pix of you, just so you could see exactly what you look like from every angle, now? (And then frantically erase them while making the photographer swear to have a spontaneous bout of amnesia)

 

Needless to say, my YES score is 10/10. But, I'm willing to bet that my odd WLS behavior isn't so very different from many of yours. And, for those of you whose WLS oddities have not yet manifested and are currently giggling at the thought of weighing yourself after using the potty, just wait....some day, you'll remember this blog as you stand on a step-stool, manipulating your shrinking tummy in the mirror to see your future self...

 

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OK, am 8/10... but you'll have to guess which ones I haven't done!  :D

Plus there is the one where you stare at your arms where you can actually see A Muscle and pull the loose skin to the far side so your arm looks both muscular and trim. This is a close associate of the "hold the loose skin on the far side when you are examining your Bat Wing Potential."

Plus plus the one where you are naked and you jiggle as hard as you can, to see where you are taut and where you have excess skin/residual fat, and really really wish you were stupid enough to video it for looking at it in 6 months to assess your progress. But you are not QUITE that stupid but you KNOW in 6 months you wish you had had really poor judgement. 

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1 hour ago, BurgundyBoy said:

OK, am 8/10... but you'll have to guess which ones I haven't done!  :D

Plus plus the one where you are naked and you jiggle as hard as you can, to see where you are taut and where you have excess skin/residual fat, and really really wish you were stupid enough to video it for looking at it in 6 months to assess your progress. But you are not QUITE that stupid but you KNOW in 6 months you wish you had had really poor judgement. 

Oh my GOSH!! HOW could I have left out the Jiggle Rodeo?!?!? My version of this one is to shake hard and count the seconds that it took for it to stop shaking!!!!!! 

Guesses: You have never done....BMI calculator playtime or naked pix

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2 minutes ago, nestingdoll said:

Oh my GOSH!! HOW could I have left out the Jiggle Rodeo?!?!? My version of this one is to shake hard and count the seconds that it took for it to stop shaking!!!!!! 

Guesses: You have never done....BMI calculator playtime or naked pix

I am WAAAY too nerdy not to have done the BMI calculator thing.

You only get 1 mark out of 2, though, as I know my wastrel loutish son (okay, he is none of those) would find the naked pix on my phone and post them someplace or other in a fit of "humor." 

And curse you, now you just know this evening I will be timing the Rodeo.... <_<

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1 minute ago, BurgundyBoy said:

I am WAAAY too nerdy not to have done the BMI calculator thing.

You only get 1 mark out of 2,

And curse you, now you just know this evening I will be timing the Rodeo.... <_<

Hmmmm...then, I'll have to guess "worrying that your double chin will soon look like a V a la Fat Bast*** on Austin Powers" 

And, I'm dying over the fact that I won't be the only one shaking and counting tonight!!!! So great!!!!!

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 stick the Chiquita banana sticker to her forehead, between her eyebrows, where it belongs.

I laughed so hard at this. Darn right, that's where it belongs. 

Hell, I haven't even made it to surgery yet and I do 1-5 on a regular basis. I've done #4 for years as I've always had a difficult time determining what I really look like - people I perceive as smaller than me often wear a larger size in pants, (and vice versa) than I do, and ironically, most of the time I don't feel as big as I am! So I play that game with my husband often, who, wonderful man that he is, typically looks at me like Im crazy and says, "You are much smaller." :wub: Now soon, it may be true :D

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Guilty of a few of these... plus incessant playing with http://modelmydiet.com/ to see what I'd look like at every possible weight between my HW and runway model size. And also playing the "How long ago was it when I was this size?" game. Due to my many previous diet "successes" (temporary ones, obvs), I was this size multiple times in my adult life... :wacko: 

 

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4 hours ago, kayak19 said:

Sounds like I'm going to have to carve out some time...

Nope...it'll carve itself out...you'll just look up and realize that you've spent the last half hour in the mirror and now you're late for wherever you were going

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11 hours ago, nestingdoll said:

Nope...it'll carve itself out...you'll just look up and realize that you've spent the last half hour in the mirror and now you're late for wherever you were going

I think you're going to have to append this list and add another 5 or 10 weird behaviors...

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I will absolutely do that!!! You help me make the list...

1. Jiggle rodeo

2. Kneading your tummy skin like a ball of dough, (while floating on a pool mat) in the hopes that the increase of circulation might make it eat itself 

 

36 minutes ago, BurgundyBoy said:

I think you're going to have to append this list and add another 5 or 10 weird behaviors...

 

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Another:

Drinking the third cup of morning rocket fuel espresso, with not-quite jittery hands, hoping that maybe now you will have a BM before your stupid morning weigh-in, and wondering what ever happened to all the fiber you thickened your protein shake and your mid-day broth with, and all those black beans you ate? Plus how much you subtract for the extra 2 cups of coffee. Just so you are consistent. 

 

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