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delilas

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I share my office with another nurse, who lost 70 pounds last year after a visit to her doctor put her in the prediabetes range. She ate a ketogenic diet for 6 months and dropped it all. Since taking a desk job and stressing about a few things in her life, she's gained some of it back - and while she constantly talks a good game about needing to get the weight off, she's also one of those "frenemies" who constantly tries to push you into eating something. I don't think she does it meanly, I think she wants me to keep eating the way I used to because then I was her excuse, you know? "Delila ate x, so I ate some too!" But for the past couple months I pack a healthy lunch most days and this seems to have almost made her more aggressive. 

 
Yesterdayy, I ate what I take pretty often - chicken salad that I fork onto small slices of cucumber to eat. It's a nice meal to try to focus on eating slowly and listening to hunger signals, and the cucumber helps keep me from wanting to drink too soon. She asked me three times if I wanted anything from a local sandwich shop and I told her no, pointing at my lunch. She said, semi sarcastically, "Oh, so healthy" and rolled her eyes. My boss also brought in brownies as its been one year since our office opened, and my officemate started in about that too, that I wasnt going to have "at least some?". Mondays are my official weigh in days for my pre-op program, and she knows as such. She offered me a pickle as well, and when I declined I got a rather harsh "Pickles don't even have calories!" I've tried explaining before it isn't about the calories - it's about the fact I'm satiated and don't need anything further, but it just falls on deaf ears. 
 
I finally told her it had to stop yesterday. I despise personal confrontation. If someone is interfering with a patient, I'll be on your butt so quick you can't even blink, but when it comes to defending myself...not so much. Asking her to stop and respect that I'm doing what I need to do to get healthier was super hard, and she took it wrong ("I'm just saying a little brownie won't hurt you, I don't know why you're so upset" etc) and we sat in an awkward silence until it was time to leave. I can suffer through some awkward silence for awhile if it means the badgering stops, though. I have enough food demons to battle without someone I sit next to 8 hours a day encouraging them!
 
TLDR: badgering coworker finally put in her place (kinda). 
 
I also had my weekly class last night. Only a few ounces lost, but between hormones (TOM) and having a broken foot reducing my activity, I'll take it. At least its not a gain!  Last night's topic was "Self Care". Was pretty interesting to see everyone's different definitions and rituals for psychological, emotional, and relationship self care and how it can relate to weight loss. Several people graduated over the last couple weeks, so our class is a bit smaller now and kinda cozy with each other - its made it less of a chore to attend for sure!
 
Puppy tax for long winded personal issues posting :D This is my patriotic pupper, Wifi. 

wifi.png



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HA @ the puppy tax!!! But thank you. 

Your coworker sounds like perhaps she may be a "neck-stomper," a category that nay-Sayers evolve into when their may-saying attempts fail. (Also known as saboteurs or jerkfaces in my house). 

Bravo for standing up for your plan. If she continues with her, "eating blah blah blah won't kill you" tagline, you may want to remind her that you are working under medical advice, not amateur hour.  

If all else fails, bring your earbuds to work. 

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LIke you, I dislike personal confrontation - but it can be really, really effective. Seems unlikely (that in the future) you will be asked twice or thrice after you have politely turned down something once. The workplace is a professional environment first... 

 

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Ha, @nestingdoll - jerkfaces is usually the term I use at home too :D I do think a reminder that I am working under medical advice could be super useful, actually, thanks for the suggestion! I do bring my earbuds often but she is not the kind to be deterred by that, unfortunately. It is still some awkward silence today but lunch time has arrived without her making any suggestions of what to eat, so that's a plus!

@BurgundyBoy - totally agree. We are a bit more than coworkers  as we knew each other in the hospital as well and just happened to both get our first non-hospital RN jobs in the same location - not quite friends but not quite just people who work near each other every day? But I still agree - professionalism is key, and theres no professionalism is badgering people into eating food they dont want. 

@Gretta thanks on both counts :D that dog and my husband are my favvies, and my husband wouldn't wear the patriotic bowtie :P

 

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Good for you for standing up for yourself. Confrontation is hard (well, except for those who treat it as a sport...) but I hope the direct talk will have the intended effect. 

Food as bonding ritual is a hard relationship to break as it seems culturally hard wired into most people and it involves both parties - one person not holding up their end of the ritual is seen as a breakdown of the social order. It tends to be felt as a personal rejection. Would it smooth things over to make an offer of some of your food to her? Like if you brought some extra? It might at least subconsciously feel like a conciliation to her. 

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I am not at all a dog person (sorry, I know I'm in the minority) - but that puppy is the cutest!

This was a great blog post for me to read.  It is probably a pretty classic example of how people close to you (either relationship-wise or proximity-wise) are using your food choices as a barometer for something else:  their choices, the relationship, competition, whatever.  Standing up for yourself in that way was amazing and necessary and a piece of taking care of yourself.  I hope that you are experiencing the desired effect in the aftermath.  Please know this example is going to stay tucked away in the back on my mind until the day I need it.  Thank you for sharing it @delilas.

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