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Fear

delilas

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When I started looking into WLS, I was 75% sure I was just going to go with a lapband. Easily removable, I thought. No big malabsorptive issues. Just a bunch of restriction - a kind of hand-holding into making me eat the way I need to. 

Then I began my real research, and saw the complication rates were higher, and the amount of appointments necessary were higher, and that overall weightloss was considerably lower. Many people complained of still feeling hungry - which makes sense, when you consider that the rest of your stomach is still there, still largely empty, and still playing on hormones like grhelin to mess with satiety. 

So I began to slowly embrace the idea that "real" bariatric surgery was my answer. I've come a long ways since being stalwart in my belief that I didn't need WLS - even if it took me years to get there. For the last couple months, I've been pretty set on VSG. 

Lately, fear is creeping in as I read the experiences and see the weightloss of those with VSG versus GB. Don't get me wrong, I see plenty of people who have done absolutely exceptional on VSG and I know it can work - I'm terrified I will make it not work. That I'll end up being one of those people who eats ice cream as a "pureed" food, manipulates what can go in, and will suffer with little weightloss because of it. That I'll need the further restriction and malabsorption offered by a GB in order to have real weight loss. 

I've devoured every thread on "how did you choose?" here on TTF and I know that some of my questions will be answered when I finally have that sit down with a surgeon, but in the meantime, I keep adding to my list of "Am I going to be one of those people who goes through a major surgery just to sabotage it?" 

I try to shake off the thoughts - I wouldn't be surprised if they're fairly normal. I'm doing well in my pre-op classes (small gain this week, but there was a considerable amount of partying for my parents anniversary this weekend). I understand all that the surgery brings, and I think seeing success after surgery will be a fabulous motivator towards continuing the plan. 

All that certainly hasn't stopped the "what ifs" though! <_< The mental part of weight loss is certainly exhausting. 


Trish13, Havamal, Jen581791 and 2 others like this


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It's a tough decision, for sure, but I think the most important decision is the one you've already made: to get WLS. 

I feel like you're not going to sabotage yourself because you've taken the time to really learn about the ins and outs. I wonder if anyone has studied whether there's a difference in outcomes between high-information patients and low-information patients? I know humans don't live their lives based on pure quantities of knowledge, but it seems like the ones who've made the effort to really get to understand the why and how (well, as much as can be understood) might have greater motivation or have learned better coping skills or something.

Anyway, I hope your chosen surgery works well for you, and you for it.

delilas likes this

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I can totally relate to the indecision. Over the months I have read everything I can to help make the "right" decision... as a result I have flip flopped almost each week! About the time I think I have come to a decision I read a study, report or personal experience that makes me question my decision... wash... rinse... repeat.

Hopefully I will have come to a firm decision by 7/25... that's when I am scheduled to go under the knife! :blink:

Jen581791 and delilas like this

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To be honest, I began this journey 5 years ago this month with the thought of lap band.  Then I found out gastric bypass might help my diabetes so I changed to that.  Then second guessed myself for the 6 month supervised diet..  but all has worked out way better than I ever dreamed..I was scared I'd sabotage myself.  So not many people know I had surgery.  I didn't want another failure under my belt.  

good luck on your journey!  

Jen581791 likes this

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Fear is normal. Anyone who did not worry about both the surgery, and also about whether or not their behavior would sabotage the potential for loss, is far more secure than I am. My two cents is that if you were to puree ice cream to sabotage yourself, you could do it just as effectively after a bypass as after a sleeve. The marginal extra malaborption is just not enough to combat a determined saboteur. The studies Res Ipsa dug up recently showed the difference to be real but small. 2 quarts of ice cream a day would bury that small difference. 

I think you'll do fine. You are doing a lot more due diligence than 99% of the people getting WLS, you're engaged, and best of all, as your ace in the hole: we all have your back and will give you stern talks or tough love or a sympathetic shoulder as needed to help you if you quiver or quake when the stalls happen or the will is weak. So there. 

Jen581791, delilas and Trish13 like this

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I have to say unfortunately that I am one of those people who has had a Bypass and still gets hungry. My stomach literally growls. I discussed it over with my nurse/psychiatrist and they both said it sounds like genuine hunger as opposed to head hunger. I'm not saying this to sway an opinion and scare you. But it is something that can happen so its best to be prepared with the thought that it might happen to you. I never really considered the band because its not really done here in the UK any more so I can't really say anything about that.

I know you've read my blog too so you know I too suffer with the fear of weight gain. I just keep telling myself that I am eating considerably less and much different then I used to. You'll be just fine and this forum will be here to support you the whole way. Keep us updated on what you decide. <3

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