• entries
    40
  • comments
    89
  • views
    2,114

Pool season!

lightenupwoman

261 views

The best thing about getting a divorce was moving to this complex that has the nicest pool ever. I think my daughter and I have been every day since it opened. No kidding. 

I was just thinking it is so nice to just swim and not feel self conscious about being over weight. And to not get winded or something when I'm playing with my daughter. 

At the same time, the typical female brain of a woman living in this culture starts doing really annoying things. Like looking at other women's bodies and missing my curves, missing my larger size breasts, looking at women in bikinis with totally flat stomachs and realizing I will never have that. I just wish when I was young and thin I would have appreciated my body for one damn day! 

Oh well I tell myself I need to love myself. I didn't have surgery to look good, I did it to feel good. And I need to love the fact that I made the right choice for me. This surgery was so life changing. 

I live in an area where half the people at least are from other countries. And so there are many times I am literally the only white American at the pool, which is fine, that's how I like things to be, I've always tried to put myself into situations where there is a lot of diversity. One thing that really bothers me is that the women from some countries apparently aren't allowed to swim. But their  husbands can. And I just feel like it's so unfair. I have seen everything from a woman wearing a sari, a woman wearing the full on hijab with the full body gown/dress thing sweating by the side of the pool, and then just women who apparently have to wear long pants and three quarter length sleeves at all times. 

And I look at them, then look at their husbands, and I just feel like this is shitty. This is so shitty. And then I wonder what they think of me, not just me, I wear a suit that has swim shorts and a tank top type thing, it's more sporty than sexy. But then you see women with huge breasts with them just hanging out or suits with almost butt floss. And I wonder what these women are really thinking, are they feeling like we American women are slutty? Does it bother them that their husbands can see us but they have to sit there in the heat and just watch their families have fun? I do have to say the husbands don't seem to notice the American women, they feel very safe and like they aren't pervs or anything. I'm not trying to say that at all. Most of them are focused on their kids and it's cute to see.

Or who knows, maybe the moms are thinking about something else and it doesn't bother them or they are so devout that this is their religion and this is how it is, this is their role and they wouldn't want anyone to feel sorry for them. 

I love swimming and if I couldn't swim because it was supposedly wrong for me to show my legs and arms in public, I would be so sad. 

 


Zyia, Clickin and Michael_A like this


6 Comments


I love to swim also. I am wearing a suit that hides my flappy skin, so I am happy with that also! (https://www.walmart.com/ip/Suddenly-Slim-by-Catalina-Women-s-Slimming-Retro-Ruffled-Swimdress/55179097)

Regardless, my two cents, those women are probably thinking, if they thought about you at all, that it's sad that you don't have a husband that would want you to protect yourself from seeing eyes, such is our and their culture. Wearing the clothes that cover them up is not only for their husband's benefit, but for their gods also. Their culture believes that being covered up also forces people to pay more attention to them as an individual instead of being biased as to how they look. Cultures are fascinating, we see something as restricting and think "My gosh, how unfair, shouldn't these women be allowed to do this" and they see us and think "My god how unfair, shouldn't they know that only god should see them showing that much skin?"

Perspectives aside, swimming is great, I love the water, yesterday I took my daughter's out to a nearby lake, course it was 105 degrees out and I was melting but, still :D 

Edited by Zyia

Share this comment


Link to comment

@Zyia I lived in the Middle East in a Muslim country for a long time, and I have to say, you really hit the nail on the head with your ideas about what the covered women are likely thinking, particularly in regards to their religion and husbands. Something like: "Poor Western women who have to show their bodies to everyone and be reduced to the appearance of their bodies in so little clothing while shaming themselves in the eyes of god. They must feel so oppressed by their culture that requires them to do that." Different perspectives, for sure. Perhaps somewhat like I feel at the beach in France when there are lots of topless women... Not for me, for sure, but they seem to be enjoying themselves.

In Muslim countries, there are often special opening days or times for women only (plus their children) to swim, so women who want to can. At the big water park in Dubai, Thursday night is ladies' night. I taught at a girls' high school for a summer school course, and the pool was often full of girls in normal bathing suits frolicking about. There are also special covering bathing suits that some wear. But, you're right @lightenupwoman, I often have been to the beach and seen groups of males having fun in the water while the females sit on the beach and look on. Doesn't seem fair to me, either, but normal for them.

@lightenupwoman I'm so happy to hear how much you're enjoying yourself at the pool, taking pleasure in the experience and just generally loving the feeling. It's something I look forward to. It sounds like your attitude toward your body is really positive. Such a good role model for your daughter :) 

 

Zyia, lightenupwoman and athenarose like this

Share this comment


Link to comment

You know I'm glad that's what they are thinking and they aren't feeling repressed or bad about it. I am such a mermaid I think even if I were in that country I'd be depressed watching other people swim when I couldn't! 

Jen581791 likes this

Share this comment


Link to comment
On 6/20/2017 at 9:16 AM, Zyia said:

I love to swim also. I am wearing a suit that hides my flappy skin, so I am happy with that also! (https://www.walmart.com/ip/Suddenly-Slim-by-Catalina-Women-s-Slimming-Retro-Ruffled-Swimdress/55179097)

Regardless, my two cents, those women are probably thinking, if they thought about you at all, that it's sad that you don't have a husband that would want you to protect yourself from seeing eyes, such is our and their culture. Wearing the clothes that cover them up is not only for their husband's benefit, but for their gods also. Their culture believes that being covered up also forces people to pay more attention to them as an individual instead of being biased as to how they look. Cultures are fascinating, we see something as restricting and think "My gosh, how unfair, shouldn't these women be allowed to do this" and they see us and think "My god how unfair, shouldn't they know that only god should see them showing that much skin?"

Perspectives aside, swimming is great, I love the water, yesterday I took my daughter's out to a nearby lake, course it was 105 degrees out and I was melting but, still :D 

I love that suit! So cute! 

Share this comment


Link to comment

Now I'm down because it's only 80 and I think it's too cold to swim. I might go up in late afternoon and see how it feels!

Jen581791 likes this

Share this comment


Link to comment

I hear you about the not appreciating my body when I was younger!

We are our own worst enemy when it comes to self image. It's funny because I've never been judgemental about big girls in swimsuits but as a big girl I would've never dared to wear a bikini, maybe a tankini with shorts. I was so uncomfortable and self conscious while doing it. I was one of those who would sit by the pool/beach/river and watch everyone else having fun while I roasted to death and hoped my boob sweat wouldn't give me a rash!

Those days are gone. While I'm still not rocking a bikini, I'm to the point where I really don't care anymore. It feels good, it's one of the many ways I feel lighter!

lightenupwoman and Jen581791 like this

Share this comment


Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now