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03/09/2017 - I want to walk? I want to walk.

Obsidian

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I feel obnoxiously motivated yesterday and today and I'm not quite sure why.  I've wanted this type of motivation for years.  Motivation to do things I used to do; things I used to enjoy.  Motivation to lose weight, to not smoke, to be active and to be careful about what I eat.  All of these things always seemed like challenges I would never complete, singly, let alone at the same time.  I feel like I've bit off quite a bit and that I should be choking on it, but instead I'm excited for it, looking forward to the next bite.  Food analogy about losing weight.  Fat kid Inception.

Yesterday I walked for a total of 50 minutes and 2.67 miles.  I work in downtown Covington, Kentucky which is on the Ohio River, directly across from Cincinnati, Ohio.  When I go for my walks I usually two blocks to the Ohio River landing and walk down the river and look at the old architecture lining 'River Row'.  Old, beautiful houses in that area.  Yesterday, I tackled a three-story stair from Ohio River landing to the Roebling Bridge, a suspension bridge between Kentucky and Ohio.  I walked across the suspension bridge into Cincinnati, then walked back, taking pictures along the way.  I've saved a couple but am on my work computer so unknown if they will actually upload.  I haven't exercised on purpose for more than a half hour in a decade or more.  I'm hesitant in celebration because I'm unsure of whether this new found motivation is fleeting or here to stay.  But I'm hopeful.

I did not stick to my meal menus yesterday, but I feel like I could have done much worse.  I know that's dangerous thinking.  I followed my menu until I got home.  My wife is a social worker and some days she may receive a report just before the end of her day.  Yesterday was one of those days.  She's usually home before I am, but yesterday she didn't get home until closer to 6:30 PM.  I was starving so I ate two servings of mixed greens salad with two servings of light Asian Sesame Vinaigrette dressing.  I'm not sure whether I would classify this as giving into a craving or giving into hunger.  Giving into hunger, I'm cool with.  I'm hungry, I need to eat.  But I was craving that salad.  But on the same token, I could think of much worse things to crave and fold over. 

Speaking of successfully resisted cravings, I've been absolutely dying for regular Coke and a Hershey Bar with almonds.  Even before I got serious about this journey or even considered it, I would have a Hershey Bar with almonds maybe once a month and a can of regular Coke on a similar rotation.  But every day I go into the break room to get ice and the vending machines are sitting there with that candy bar and Coke.  Or baked BBQ lays.  Or pizzeria Combos.  I'm sorry if I'm triggering anyone here, but I've had the worst cravings for these foods.  I mean, I know I feel like they're bad cravings because I'm actually resisting them.  Previously when I had a craving it was no big deal.  I'd just buy them and eat them. Self control has never been my strong suit, but I'm learning.  Substitute the craving with water, a black coffee, a walk.  Just like smoking.  Concentrate on getting through the next 15 minutes without eating and you'll be alright.

I'm going to try and surpass my time, distance and steps walked today.  That's my goal for the day.  Even if it's one extra step.  For the record, my steps were 13,000 when I took my counter off at 5:00 PM.  First time I've counted steps past 10,000.  :)

This evening we are going to my folks and it's going to be interesting eating right on someone else's 'menu'.  I'm interested in what you've learned on your own personal journeys here.  If I'm presented with crap that I can't eat tonight, do I just try and eat a healthy portion of it, or do I decline and wait until afterward to eat?  What if I'm starving by that point?  What if I'm starving when I get there?  Everything in moderation or strict adherence?  Thanks in advance!

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4 Comments


When at someone else's place I tend to just eat what they're serving....but only small portions, and definitely no sweets. I'm still pre-surgery and not on any surgeon imposed diet though. That'll change in a couple of weeks and I'll likely just not eat out at all when that happens. I can happily just say "I can't eat that" if I'm out with one of the few people I've told about the upcoming surgery, but many others just know I'm trying to lose weight to qualify for orthopaedic surgery and they tend to nag me to "take a break" from the strict self-imposed diet, and then follow it up with sabotaging nonsense that "it'll do you good to spoil yourself once in a while". Mind you they're also the same people that suggest I'm taking the diet too far and if I don't stop soon they'll be nothing left of me. Insert rolling eyes here.....hello....im still obese, just not as obese as they are. Haha!!! They ain't seen nothing yet!!!!

Edited by Aussie H

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11 hours ago, Aussie H said:

When at someone else's place I tend to just eat what they're serving....but only small portions, and definitely no sweets. I'm still pre-surgery and not on any surgeon imposed diet though. That'll change in a couple of weeks and I'll likely just not eat out at all when that happens. I can happily just say "I can't eat that" if I'm out with one of the few people I've told about the upcoming surgery, but many others just know I'm trying to lose weight to qualify for orthopaedic surgery and they tend to nag me to "take a break" from the strict self-imposed diet, and then follow it up with sabotaging nonsense that "it'll do you good to spoil yourself once in a while". Mind you they're also the same people that suggest I'm taking the diet too far and if I don't stop soon they'll be nothing left of me. Insert rolling eyes here.....hello....im still obese, just not as obese as they are. Haha!!! They ain't seen nothing yet!!!!

Absolutely!  I'm 4.5 months out from surgery.  My insurance says 3 months, but has a provision for smokers that they must be 6 months off the stuff before surgery can be approved.  So, eh, what's 6 months compared to ~30 years?  My aunt and uncle (the folks alluded to above) kind of know the score, just not EVERYTHING about the surgery.  They think it's potential, not in stone, and honestly, they're technically not wrong.  But my aunt was very hospitable and served grilled 4 oz pork chops with fresh green beans, roasted potatoes and macaroni and cheese.  I had one pork chop, a serving of green beans and roasted potatoes and skipped the macaroni and cheese.  I would have skipped the roasted potatoes, too, but here was my excuse: Prior to eating dinner, I have consumed (of my own volition) 533 calories, most of which were protein.  I had also walked 2.2 miles of a hilly walk at 3.5 - 4 MPH, which is just a hitch below jogging, while climbing stairs as they come (and there were plenty), which, according to Samsung S Health equated to an estimated 300+- calorie burn.  So, if those numbers are to be believed, my net calories before dinner were somewhere around 233 and it was 7:00 PM.  So I ate the ****ed potatoes.  hahaha

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I have to say the 6 mo. smoking thing kind of ticks me off.  I get it.  Smoking is bad, you don't heal as well, etc.  But the 6 mo thing seems punitive.  My doc insisted on 8 wks, which is pretty high from what I've seen, but it meshed well with all the other requirements.

That said, I'm sure you'll do great!!  I used Chantix to get me over the hump. As my doc warned, it works great but brings out whatever crazy you have in you.  Mine was being a major smartmouth.  Lol.

And managing all of the other requirements for approval takes forever too.  One foot in front of the other and you'll get there!!

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19 hours ago, TentativeMe said:

I have to say the 6 mo. smoking thing kind of ticks me off.  I get it.  Smoking is bad, you don't heal as well, etc.  But the 6 mo thing seems punitive.  My doc insisted on 8 wks, which is pretty high from what I've seen, but it meshed well with all the other requirements.

That said, I'm sure you'll do great!!  I used Chantix to get me over the hump. As my doc warned, it works great but brings out whatever crazy you have in you.  Mine was being a major smartmouth.  Lol.

And managing all of the other requirements for approval takes forever too.  One foot in front of the other and you'll get there!!

At this point, as a smoker who doesn't want to smoke anymore anyway, I've kind of gotten resigned to the fact that I've got to jump through extra hoops and endure my Two Minutes Hate in any particular junction of my life.  My salve is that I know I've rounded a corner this time, and also that I've been fat for the better part of ~30 years.  I can handle waiting for treatment for an extra 3 months.  I have a pretty easy going temper though, especially when I feel resigned towards something.

My PCP prescribed Welbutron XL (sp?) 300 mg.  My problem has been remembering to take it.  I justify learning to remember as practice for when I end up having to take a daily vitamin supplement.  The Welbutron, I suppose, has worked pretty well.  I say I suppose because honestly I was as miserable as I have ever been, but I actually did it this time, as opposed to the other times.  Whether this was due to the medicine or because I knew I would not be able to progress with possible BS if I didn't is certainly up for debate. 

Thanks for the comment, that's pretty much how I'm attacking this.  One foot at a time.  This time two months ago my journey hadn't even started.  Now I'm two months in, developing healthy habits and excited to continue this Bataan Death March.  ;)

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