The past few days, I have mostly been obsessively looking at operation mortality rates (yes, low...but 1:1000 for an elective surgery) and flipping out about why I am even doing this. Just stop eating crap forever without an operation...if it were only that simple.
Not aided by finding a post here from a grieving mother whose daughter died during surgery...I just have to keep digging to the pit of my soul and finding the logical statictitian in me that says...even with the risks associated, I am likely one of the lower risk people having the surgery and focus as hard as I can on the projected benefits. Making plans for the next year when I get thinner and healthier...having a skin bin list of things I want to do which weight has stopped me from thus far in life and really trying to switch off the naggy niggly voice inside my head that is making me wobble.
I am categorically having the surgery, I will make my next 3 weeks far more bearable if I can just accept that my decision is made and stop trying to overthink everything!