Still Struggling

It is amazing the up's and down's I have been through in the past 3 weeks. I am still somewhat frustrated and am thinking at this point that surgery was a mistake. I am experiencing back pain that can only be described as disabling. I always had back pain due to being over weight but nothing to this degree. I went to a chiropractor yesterday, he did all the tests and I go back today for an adjustment. I am avoiding "traditional" medicine because all my doctor wants to do is treat the pain, not the problem. I seem to do well on some days and terribly on others. Again, I feel maybe I did not make the right choice. I followed the rules to the T until I figured out breaking them really resulted in nothing. I have not once had a dumping symptom, vomited or even felt a little bad. I have now only lost a total of 9 lbs. which I am sure is because I can pretty much eat like I did before. I am not running to McDonald's and eating 2 value meals but I can pack down some cottage cheese no problem. Does it feel uncomfortable? Absolutely. But as any over eater can identify with, I wanted that uncomfortable feeling when I was able to eat 3 Big Mac's - I am not sure all of the psychology behind all of it but the fact is I crave the uncomfortableness. (I do understand the psychology behind my being over weight however.) As I have said in the past I went through this surgery because I thought I would not be able to eat or drink as I did in the past and finding out I am still able is very very frustrating. I would appreciate not being judged for posting how I am feeling. I get it. I am setting myself up to fail. I just can't wrap my mind around putting my body through this and now being in more pain, both physical and mental, then before. The back pain is so bad that even walking kills me so I have not been able to exercise. I am just so lost at the moment. But this is unbelievably cathartic.