Hi Ivana,
I am sorry that you have to deal with this situation. I was super nervous to tell my boss for fear that I would have to explain what surgery I needed time off for, but he just asked if I was going to be okay. He didn't ask any questions beyond if I was going to be alright and I was so relieved. And then I got a voicemail from HR about my leave not being under FMLA so now I think I am going to have a discussion with HR about it. Always one more hurdle, right?

Your post really caught my eye because your surgery is scheduled for three days before mine. I think it would be fun to stay in touch as we go through this process!

Have a good night!

I see that you had your pre-op visit with the surgeon, I hope all went well. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation with a partner who is not as supportive as can be. When I undertook this process I sat down with my husband and three children ages 22, 19 & 16 and we discussed everything and they also read some of the WLS for Dummies book which has become my bible. The one thing that was very clear to me from the beginning is that I can't do this alone, it's not just my problem to deal with alone. Success can only be achieved with support and like minded behavior in the home. This isn't to say my 16 year old doesn't hit McDonalds, I hope not, but if he does I don't know about it and it is not brought into my house. The smell of those french fries would send me into a 3,000 caloric food binge. With that said, I hope your wife can change her thinking and realize her behavior affects your success. My brother is classified as extreme morbidly obese, his wife weighs 150 pounds. They live 3 hours away and I don't see them as often as I would like. The last time I saw him I was shocked at how big he had gotten and out of my love for him I decided to say something to his wife. When I spoke with her she mentioned casually that yes he does have a problem and he will need to figure out how to do it. I mentioned to her that she can be a champion in helping him with a supportive food environment and healthy cooking. The thought of losing massive amounts of weight can be daunting, even worse when you are left to handle it on your own. I have read that some partners, not intentionly, sabotage because they are scared about losing the person you are now and also they are not strong enough to face their own weight issues so it's easier not to. About the house being a mess, I love listening to Peter Walsh on XM Radio with Oprah & Friends. He talks about letting go and ridding things that hold you back. He's a good source of useful, fun information if you have time to look him up. Congrats on the water, I too use a mini jug and play games with myself to drink it up before the day is out. I think it is awesome that you are seeing a counselor, this person will be your #1 champion. How exciting the final countdown for your surgery is almost here.

I have not had surgery yet but you really got me thinking about this. Most of my adult life I have been over weight. The problem is I can't think of a time when I did not think I was over weight. I can look back when I was in high school, maybe even before that, and I have pretty much always thought I was fat even when I probably wasn't. It's hard to believe as a cheerleader in high school I thought I was fat, though looking back that was not the case but in my mind comparing myself to others I thought I was. At various weights and stages in my life I have thought the same thing, regardless of how I looked or what I weighed. How much of "feeling" has always been in my head? And maybe a better question would be if that thought will ever change? I am often confused by skinny friends or co-workers complaining about being fat and needing to drop some weight when they are half my size. It just goes to show that we all see ourselves one way regardless of what others see and what the scale shows. Yes the number of the scale confirms it now for me, but at some point in becomes just that - a number. Wil there ever be a time when that number does not matter anymore?

Wow, you have some great, thoughtful things here. I know you are much further out than me (my one year is coming up!) so it is kind of saddening to think that I might still feel this same way for a long while. Because I definitely still feel similar to how I felt when I was fat. I can't tell you what a shock it is to catch sight of myself in a full-length mirror (I don't have one at home, so I only see it in the bathroom at work) and see daylight between my thighs and my hips looking so small. I certainly don't feel as thin as I really am. I guess it would be odd if I was already used to being 175 down in a single year, but still. I sit here and feel very simliar to how I felt before. What does thin feel like, anyway? LOL!

Sometimes if you think of the weight loss in smaller amounts instead of the whole thing at once. The total loss can be overwhelming. I also try to do the very best I can do everyday. I have also found water aerobics which is fun and a good workout so that helps keep me motivated.Keep your eye on the prize, it will pay off. One thing i have found is a shake with 24 grams of protein to help control the hunger. You can do it, you came this far!!

Hey there Nyn and Pegs. Thanks for taking the time to read my story so far and for taking the time to comment. It has been good for me to get the thoughts the down and I hope that as I continue it will be a good documentation of my journey.

Thanks again !

It is done. GB done Thursday @ 3:00. It was better than I expected I got out of the hospital Friday @ 6:00pm went to my sons house and stayed until this morning. We drove home today Sunday and everything is going great. I am really tired and sleep allot. The liq stay down fine I have had no nausea and very little pain. Drinking the fluids feels kinda like when you eat to fast and there is not enough room for something to go down seems more like a gentle reminder. At first each drinking caused a small amount of cramping. I was told to stop my blood sugar meds before leaving the hospital. YAHHOO I do not feel shakey as I did prior if I missed a meal with my diabetes. It was more of a major surgery than I expected but tolerable. I had it done at Fresno Heart Hopsital by Dr.Higa. I recommend him to anyone. Dr.Higa does not recommend any protein supplements as he says they will slow weight loss be cause at this point they would only be used as calories for energy and not as protien. So I am only on Clear liq for the first week. I go see him again on Thursday. Well I am getting sleepy. I will check in later. God Bless to all

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Hey Carrie! Welcome! Wow, it looks like you're doing great. One thing though (and please tell me if I'm misreading this!) is that you say you reached Onederland on 8/28...but on this Forum at least we use that term to mean that your weight is down into the "100's" so it is a number that starts with a One, see? You have lost more than 100 pounds, so we call that joining the Century Club. Well, it is all kind of silly anyway, but just wanted to clarify that. If I'm wrong, please let me know and I'll drag my foot out of my mouth. So far it looks like your weight is down to the 300s, so that is Threeopolis. 200s is Twoterville. LOL! It's just something that makes us smile around here. Again, congratulations on all your success -- you're really doing great!

I love that you use this journal format to get out your worries and struggles. It's very healthy to write things down and maybe you can even go back later (days later or even months) and think about where you were and where you are. At least, that's how it works for me. I'm so sorry you were in an accident! That's happened to me before, too. It really plays havoc with your emotions. I hope you wife starts to realize what a downward spiral it sounds like she's in. The tendency to put things off "just until this is over" is a classic avoidence technique. I should know since I used to use it all the time!! I'm glad you have a counselor and hopefully that will help her -- and you too. Congrats on getting in all your water. It's so tough after surgery so practice will really help. I guess I don't really have any words of wisdom to share, so this message is mostly just to let you know that I'm listening and have definitely been through some of the same things as you. Keep on keeping on, and good luck.

Wow, that's a tough work situation. Since it is just you and the boss, I suppose it's really hard to keep personal boundary lines drawn. As a boss, he is not supposed to get too personal with you. I think poking his nose into your diet is really inching over that line. You sat him down and told him that you are having a medical procedure and will need time off. He should have accepted it and moved on. I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns, but worried what will happen when you come back. I hope he doesn't keep pushing the boundaries! Keep being strong and standing your ground. After 12 months of education, I'm sure you're knowledgable enough to counter anything he says. GOOD LUCK!

I have been thinking about this issue for awhile now. I know at some point I am going to have to meet with my HR department about the time off I am going to need. Even though it is a big place, word gets around fast and I already know that there are some in that department that talk even though you know it is not suppose to happen. Still I have reserves about telling my immediate co-workers. I know I don't need to explain my decision to them but I have a feeling I will be doing that. I know some will not understand the decision I have taken so much time to make. I am still anxious about telling my family. Being 1300 miles away from them, and not seeing them very often, they are not going to see the changes as the happen. It has been 6 months since I have seen them and it will possibly be 6 months or more after surgery that I will see them again. They know I have been dealing with other medical issues that have prevented me from exercising so those issues being resolved would be explaination enough but still... Aside from making the decision to have surgery this is the biggest one I have been faced with and am torn with which way to proceed.

Sounds like you are adjusting quite nicely. That is good to hear.

Thank you so much! This is why I love coming to a support group place like this -- you meet people who have had similar life experiences and when you say something they know exactly what you mean!

Karrie,

Best of luck with the surgery I'm sure you will do great. I just got a call from my surgeon's office and my date is 9/15/08!! I look forward to losing along with you...

You know, I read this post and it made my heart hurt... there is such a clear reflection of my mother in yours! I have had many such experiences with my own mother and, though i love her dearly, she is absolutely a major factor in my ever increasing (until now) weight!

Thank you, for putting so eloquently into words what so many of us hide in oour hearts!

good luck on fri....

Mike,
Good luck with your surgery Friday, I'm in the final stages of approval and waiting for the final go approval and my surgery date. Looking forward to losing along with you...