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About this blog

Just want to document my journey

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Kathleenm1964

I grew up in upstate NY, one of 3 children; an older sister and a younger brother.  Yes I was the typical middle child; self-sufficient, lots of friends and all about going to school for the social side!  I wasn't overweight as a child, kind of gangly and Tom boyish, playing in the woods behind my house!  It was a good childhood, family camping, trips to zoos and parks and the occasional vacation to Wisconsin or North Carolina or Virginia to visit family members!  Once I hit puberty my body started to change of course but I think I took the widening hips and larger breasts as somethin I needed to tame!  That kind of set me up for failure & I spent way too much time obsessing over my changing body than it warranted.  I spent my teenage years at a normal weight but I couldn't see that!  I married when I was 18 (1 week past my 18th birthday) because I thought I was a grownup and had my 1st child at 19.  By the time I was 27 I had 5 daughters and weighed somewhere south of 180 lbs....it wasn't a bad weight for me it was just not the weight I wanted to be!  Then we moved to Florida for my husband's job...Florida is a place where you cannot hide your weight, too little clothing!  I have spent the following 20 years going from 175 lbs to 245 or so pounds, up and down with much ease really....gained 20 lbs...try this weight watchers diet....gained by 45 lbs...let's try that herbalife diet.....gained 50 lbs.....let's try phentermine and vit. K shots!!  And then we move to Tennessee two years ago....let me tell you I Love Tennessee!   But we adopted our 5 year old grandaughter and I decided to stay at home after working for a dozen plus years in a fast paced (as in you ran for 12 hrs straight, no sit down breaks or anything remotely like a break) medical floor as an RN.  I started baking our own bread (yum, yum!) And pies and goodies! And quickly ballooned up to 275 within a few months!  It has progressively gotten harder and harder to keep up with my newest charge and I feel guilty because I'm not able to keep up with her.  We went on vacation to NY by way of Gettysburg and I spent the majority of the time being out of breath or just sitting in the vehicle waiting for my husband and grandaughter to return from whatever sight I couldn't even get to!  We went to breakfast to this overpriced cafe that I sat so gingerly in the chair I couldn't enjoy even a moment of that ridiculously over priced food because I was afraid the chair would break!  We rented a rustic cabin for our stay in NY and it was beautiful there, I got to see my family but I ended up with a UTI because she says under her breath, it's hard to perform proper hygiene while in a  rustic cabin (I know TMI!)  I had already decided to try to have WLS before that vacation and it couldn't happen quick enough.  I had gotten to the point of weighing in at 316 lbs, I'm diabetic, have hypothyroidism, osteoarthritis in my back, hips and knees, high blood pressure and needless to say mobility issues and constant pain.  I want to be around to help guide my grandaughter to her adulthood.  I want to be around to enjoy our retirement and enjoy my 10 grandchildren!   I want to kayak and swim and slide downhill and just grow a garden and raise some chickens!!!!  

I started this journey on August 30th, 2016 when I went to my first consultation at the Vanderbilt center for bariatric surgery and weight loss. I won't kid you the journey from August to finally having surgery on March 31st, 2017 was not easy, but was so worth it!!!   Ten years ago I would have told you you were crazy to say I would have WLS, but now I am so grateful and happy that I have had WLS, it's given me hope for the future that I had lost!!  Here's to a new me and here's to a new you!!!

Kathleenm1964

Yes it's happened, over the last 10 days I've lost 2.8 lbs!  It's here, the stall that my doctor warned me about at my 4 week check up!  I figure it's good that I've lost any weight and not gained but still......it's a bit disheartening that at my starting weight of 316 lbs a stall couldn't have waited a few weeks!  But overall I've lost 36.6 lbs and that isn't bad, it's great!  I can muddle through this to the losing part!  I am going to celebrate my current weight, which I haven't seen in about 2 years so there you go!  I've also learned not to have weekly weight goals because it'll happen when it happens.  Maybe monthly goals are a better idea....so there it is.

Kathleenm1964

This is the first month of the rest of my life!  I have been overweight or struggled to keep extra weight off since I hit puberty, which in my case is quite a while ago!  I remember when I was 16 years old doing exercises to try to trim my thighs and I look at a picture of me from that same time frame and I was really smokin hot!  I was hour glass shaped with pretty perfect proportions and I thought I was heavy!  Crazy what you think you see in the mirror!  I just got home from going to a park with my two daughters and my 3 grandchildren and this is the first time in many years that I could chase my 2 year old grandson around and actually play with him!  What a great feeling, and it's only just begun!!

I am so glad that I finally did this, I just wish I had made that decision earlier!!

Kathleenm1964

Well I was sooooo excited to finally have soft food, and on Easter!  It was like those balloons that you blow up for birthday parties, big and shiny ready to burst!  Then a slow leak poooof!  I had my salmon recipe all picked out, it smelled soo good baking...and the first bite!  It was just so disapointing, I could hardly eat any of it, I was so scared it was going to hurt!  

I'm now on semi-soft (actually mostly full liquid diet!)  And taking the days slower until I can feel comfortable with my own body again!  STILL SUPER HAPPY I'VE DONE THIS!!!!  I am taking one step at a time and living every day, which is something I've almost forgotten how to do!

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