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About this blog

At age 53 and yoyo dieting for the last 30 years I am finally taking that step in creating the person I always wanted to be.

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babykinz53

I am a slow loser....

 

  At first it depressed me, it aggravated me, and had me wanting to give up. Its my way, its the way Ive done this journey for the past 3 decades.   I am good at losing weight, but when it stops I give up.

 

  Now here I am, I haven't lost any weight since June.   I only lost 50 pounds since surgery......it pisses me off.  

 

 Now I can say, I have not been perfect, but I can count the number of times I have eaten off plan on one hand, I can remember each time in the past year vividly because the pain it has caused.

 

  I do not eat bread, pasta, starches and very limited sugar. By that I mean I will have a life saver now and again and my vitamins do have sugar in them.

 I go to the gym three times a week and do the machines, I can see the results, especially in my shoulders and arms. This last summer I wore tank tops for the first time in a couple decades.

 

 I have this love hate relationship with this forum.  I love reading about people who have lost weight, but it really makes me angry as well. People who have started at a higher weight than I did and have twice as much in half the time. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! but yeah them!

 

  But here I am, a little over a year since surgery and I am stuck at 160 pounds, on my 5'2 frame. My goal was 130, but I am stuck at 160. STUCK! 

 

  I've tried everything, I've upped my calories, I've lowered my calories, I've upped my carbs and lowered my carbs. I even tried going into ketosis by stop taking my vitamins. 

 

   I am averaging about 1200 calories a day....which leads me to my other thing.

 

  For about a month now, I have been constantly hungry....yeah I know, the end of the year honeymoon period thing.  But  OMG, the constant hunger. I know its not a vitamin deficiency(which was my first thought) because I had my blood panel and I am in the standard range for everything except b-12 which I was WAY high on because I was taking too high a dose.

 

  So I graze, mostly at night. So to compensate I eat smaller meals, really just a few ounces of protein, thats what I eat, in one form or another, protein. Veggies are like a luxury to me because in order to get my 80+ grams of protein in I stick to protein snacks, lefts overs, eggs, cheese and nuts.

 

  But yeah, I'm stuck...160.....but ya know what....I dont care!    I look at before and after pics of myself and I am proud, and for the first time since 1985 I can look at pictures of myself and not cringe.  I went from 3x to L-XL.   I can wear cute clothes, I can wear a PDF when I kayak. 

 

  I am not giving up.........Yes its been a LONG stall, but I am not giving up. Just 30 pounds to go.....I will get there. It might take me another whole year, but I WILL GET THERE.  Because regaining the weight I have lost in not an option. Its just not!

 

  All I have to do is look at my before pictures to know, regaining is not an option.

 

  Here I am rambling....but this forum is my ONLY support. No one knows about my surgery....maybe that's why my slow weight loss is a good thing. If I did lose 100 pounds in 6 months it would be obvious, but since I am struggling and losing slowly, I am just like everyone else on a diet.

 

 

 Crazy ramble is over......

 

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babykinz53

2 Days to go

Sitting here sipping my soup, doing last minute research for my Gastric Bypass on Tuesday.

Been on a liquid diet for 7 days, and it hasn't been too bad. Lots of yummie soup, which by the way, Imagine makes a really great line of creamy organic soups. Naturally low fat and very yummie. I am enjoying the Creamy Butternut Squash Soup, tomorrow is clear liquids so I have some broths on stand by.

 

So far in my journey to the new me I have eliminated several things from my life.  Caffeine, Sugar, white flour, and diet pop. The diet pop was the hardest, I had physical withdraw symptoms. Every muscle in my body ached, I was light headed most of the time, and the fatigue, ohhhh the fatigue, all I wanted to do was sleep. Took a good two weeks to feel normal again. It scary the thought of something that can cause such withdraws was such a huge part of my life since I was a teenager.

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