So here we go, yo...
Posted 08-06-2009 at 01:29 AM by anjelika
this is the second time i'm "enrolled" in the queen's comprehensive weight management program. the first time around, i thought i could do "traditional" weight loss. well, i did lose 30 pounds (around there), but then i gained it all back while on a trip to washington. a few years later, here i am another 20 or so pounds more! my health issues seem to be piling up. i have allergies (hives), severe migraines, heartburn, gastrointestinal issues, and more recently, hair loss and the creeping up to being diabetic. *sigh* my weight this second time around in the program started at 281. that was back in may?? it's now august 5th 2009 and i'm 276. after meeting with the dietician, psycologist and internal med doc, i'm apparently "ok" to go to surgery by 2 of them. i have an appointment on friday with the psycologist who will maybe tell me if i'm ready for this. even if she does, i still need to be cleared by my neurologist and the actual bariatric surgeon. so, what's the deal? here's the deal... I'M not too sure if i want this. i've been reading everyone's stories (good and bad) on this site and to tell you the truth... I'M FREAKED OUT!!!! i mean, they can only tell you so much at the program. they're the docs, they haven't had the surgery themselves. All the people on this site have! these are REAL issues, REAL stories! this is what my life will be and i don't know if i can handle that. i don't think i can handle not being able to take my migraine meds (maxalt and advil) when i'm suffering migraine death. i don't know if i can handle MORE gastrointestinal issues. i don't want MORE bad things to happen to me. i thought this surgery would be for the better? but will it? i'm not diabetic, but i can be if i stay on this unhealthy road to nowhere. i don't have high blood pressure. i don't have sleep apnea. after all these years of my pcp telling that there's really nothing wrong with me... i guess i have to believe that i really am a semi-healthy fat person! 
after reading these stories... i can actually be worse.
i'm on the fence now... which side will i jump down on???
to be continued...
after reading these stories... i can actually be worse. i'm on the fence now... which side will i jump down on???
to be continued...
Total Comments 3
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Greetings Anjelika
Hope at this time your feeling more confident about the direction you're to embark upon. I've just a post of yours and I think you've decided to go ahead with surgery. I've just now read your blog, came upon it by chance. I sure remember feeling similarly to you. It was my consultant that first recommended that I have bariatric surgery so I had to give it serious consideration. Even before I had my first consultation with the obesity clinic I was soooo shook. This was something I didn't want to deal with. When I discovered that I would not be able to eat what I thought to be reasonable portions again.. This scared me further. I'm a foodie for sure. Gradually, I started researching and I found this site TT. It changed everything for me. I was able to come to terms with my fears... I was motivated to research the surgery I was put forward for.. but more imporantly, I got to understand myself better. I realise the type of relationship I had with food and recognised that i could still eat and socialise with friends and family, just that I'll never eat the same size portions again, what I will have is a restriction to the amount I can eat in any one sitting. Lots of changes ahead, I'll have the tool to help me lose and maintain weight loss. I'm looking forward to improving my diabetese or losing it all together; getting rid of the high blood pressure, improvements on my PCOS and so much more. WLS was suggested to me some years back by the consultants, but I would not hear of it at that time and dismissed it. My health conditions became more acute and now I have some kidney and heart damage compliments of my BP. So think of the benefits to you when and if you decide to go forward. Good luck though, whatever you decide. |
 
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thanks so much for the encouragement Hychap! yes, yes, i'm a foodie too! i love it!
but yes, my doc did say that if i stay this heavy and continue my bad eating habits, i WILL be diabetic! so, though i was thinking "why make things worse when i'm a healthy fatty now?"... i just needed that reminder... "because i will become completely UNHEALTHY if i don't make the neccessary changes!" i appreciate your insight! good luck to you too! so, wait, have you had it yet? or will soon? |
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Hi again Anjelika
Hope I was some help. When you've got time have a look at my blogs, you'll see the journey that I have made so far. Being a foodie, one of the things I decided to do fairly early on was to research the kind of foods I will be able to eat at various stages of progress, I read some of the meals other TTer's were eating and seeing whether I could source some of the products. The fact that i'm in the UK some of the suggested products are not available here, so I look for alternative. In doing this I have sourced a number of products - today I even recieved some protein drinks to try; I really can't imagine drinking milky type protein drinks every day so wanted an alternative. In my stash I have a few bottles of the sugar free syrups, different flavours (Da Vinci) low carb potatoe powder; unflavoured protien powder amongst other things. I go to UTube where there is countless cooking demonstrations for recipes suitable for people who have had WLS. Also there are people who have had WLS there doing Video blogs, they give you a good idea of the types of products to buy before surgery. Theres loads you can do to keep yourself positive and motivated and in some ways have some control over whats happening. Seeming your a foodie like me, why not create your own recipes in anticipation. I've created a 6 day food plan for post-op stage two. Do let me know what you think. Keep in touch. Hyacinth |
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Recent Blog Entries by anjelika
- well, i guess things happen for a reason???? (09-13-2009)
- GB and the Great Recession! (08-10-2009)
- 08/07/09... psych meeting and the changing of a mind... (08-08-2009)
- So here we go, yo... (08-06-2009)
