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    I am one of those people who must weigh daily, no it doesn't make me crazy, but it is something that I am afraid if I don't do I will get out of control and gain.

    My pattern has been that I will drop 3-4 lbs in a week then stall out for a week. When I stall I stay the same weight for that week. This past Monday I weighed in at 163.3, since I have bounced in the 163 point something range, the last two days 163.8. I have recognized this pattern, yet the stalls still cause me to fear failure.

    I know a lot of people would kill to be 163, but for me at 5 ft 2 in I am just barely in the over weight range, at 164 I would be obese. I am really hoping to lose 30-35 more lbs to put me around 130, which is a healthy BMI. My mom says that due to my fat being spread out and not centralized in one spot that I don't look 163, yet I am.

    I am currently 5 months and 10 days post op, so people who have had WLS that I will continue to lose. Yet, I am so scared of not making it to my goal weight. I wear a size 10/12 depending on the cut, so I know I have gone down sizes (have been as large as a 22), but it just isn't enough. When I look in the mirror I see a change, but I still tell myself I am fat.

    It is like I am just out there searching for validation that I am not fat and will make it, yet when people say I will I fear they are wrong. I have been overweight since I was 5 years old and it is so hard to lose that mind set.

    Maybe I need therapy.

  1. Today, I am 184.6 lbs. I am down an amazing 67.4 lbs since 2/24/15. I feel so good and I am only just past the halfway mark. Guess what I did the other day...I crossed my legs! That is only one thing I can do again, but it is HUGE. I got into a size 14 and although it was a little snug, I managed to button and snap them STANDING UP. No lying on my bed to do it. Again, HUGE. The tide has turned and I am more lean muscle than fat. I know I am eventually going to slow down and in fact, I have some weeks with little to no loss. I only loss .2 last week, but I also lost nearly 2% body fat. That means more fat burn and more weight loss after. I now have a visible jawline, neck and shoulders. I have shoulders! LOL I have an actual shape that resembles an hourglass...still a bit bigger than what I will end up with but it is there, my friends.

    I do have a few issues I am currently dealing with, but I knew going in, that there is always a price to be paid. I am still having difficulty with solids. Some days, all I can handle are shakes and yogurt. Other days, I am fine with most solids. It is unpredictable and I end up with this sensation of having eaten a bowling ball and so nauseous, that throwing up is preferable and I am not a fan of that. So, for the time being, I am sticking to the easy to digest thick liquids stage, and hoping for the best maybe a month down the road. The most important thing to remember is protein, water, and enough calories to fuel my daily workouts.

    The other issue is this funky taste I get in my mouth. It seems to originate from down below and comes up my throat and fills my mouth with a metallic, alkaline, weird taste...hard to describe. It is rather unpleasant. A friend of mine says she dealt with both issues earlier on in her post op days and they went away. I am hoping mine is short lived.

    Aside from those two things though...,and one is avoidable, even if the alternative kind of sucks too...I am doing well. I am no longer using my CPAP!!! That, alone, is cause for celebration. =)

    The picture is actually a few weeks old. That blouse not only used to be small on me, but I was testing the strength of those buttons! LOL Not anymore. I also had to get rid of my jeans as they all kept falling off. Not down...OFF. Whoops! LOL

    Only 64.6 lbs to go!!!

  2. It took me all of 10 months to get down to the size where my body said stop. By Oct 2014, I was 135 and that's where I've been for the past few months. my original goal was somewhere in the ball park of 125 - 130. I picked this number because that's where I see most people that started at my height and around the same size. my doctors goal for me was around 140.

    For several months I was happy with 135 and I did what I needed to do to maintain that weight.

    3 weeks ago my husband says he wants to do low carb for a while in effort to lose about 10lbs. He started at around 208. He is an active military solider and is within his weight limit, however, he does have a nice round belly. Low carb will help flatten that out. His eating habits could use some improvement as well. So I introduced him to my world. No more white flour, no processed foods, no high sugar items, no soda, no fried foods... etc. We have been doing low carb together now for almost 3 weeks with the occasional break for weekends. I have started tracking our intake and have limited him to 100 - 150g of carbs a day. Higher protein then he's used to.

    I didn't have intentions of losing weight during this process just being more mindful of my intake to support his changes, but in doing so I have jump started the loss process again. When I noticed the scale moving, I thought wow, my body is O.K. with more lose. Now I have set my mind to lose a total of 5lbs. not a big deal at all. Who notices 5lbs.

    Well 5lbs on a person of my "body type" might be a huge difference. My weight for the last 5 days has been rotating between 131.2 - 132.6. I'm happy that it is not 135 - 137 anymore but I set my goal to 130 and it is ticking me off.

    I know I have lost inches and my size 2 jeans are getting looser. When I see my belly in the mirror, I can see my ribs, followed by a bunch of loose skin around my mid section. I have a lean muscular frame with a 19% body fat which is considered below average. I should be ecstatic.....

    Why am I freaking out about 1lb. Why is it so important to me that the scale reads 130 or lower. I am determined to see that number on the scale and will not allow our "diet" to stop until I get to goal. But at what point does this mental block become a concern?

    Hubby is at 200 now BTW and he wants the scale to read below 200 as well and is just as determined. He loves his new eating habits and I believe he will be more aware of what he puts in his body from now on. He says he feels cleaner and has more energy. He's asked for at least 1 more week of this diet which of course I am happy to do since I don't eat most of the stuff he used to consume anyway. It just makes my life easier to not have to worry about what starch to put on his plate.

    I want him to be happy and healthy and would love for him to be more fit.

    Im still being healthy (as in not being malnourished). Im eating less then 100g a day of carbs. At least 100g a day of protein. My fat intake is @45g. My calorie intake is @ 1000 a day. I know most post ops think this is too much but I am also very active and walk at least 4 miles a day. So since im doing the right thing... is really that bad that my body is losing weight in the process? Is it really that bad that I have cut out the bad things that I had let back in? My NUT would say no.... but my ribs!! Ahhhh..

    Thoughts....

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    Whew, my last few weeks have definitely been a challenge at work. I am having to learn to trust, both in my professional life and personal/physical health. The stress seems to be taking a toll on my health...I have a horrible case of bronchitis, I am sure this has been worsened by both the stress and my insurance refusing to refill a prescription for my moderate (good days) to severe (bad days) chronic asthma medication. They will fill the rescue inhaler but not the corticosteroid. So very frustrating.

    Though this new season has some rough edges, I am looking for the silver lining. I want to find my lesson in all this and I think it is trust, learning to trust. Not man but God. He is bring my faith to a new depth.

    The flip side of this is that my blood pressure is way down my Cpap is no longer needed. I weigh less than I have in the past 24 years! So exciting and rewarding!

    Growing is not easy, but it is rewarding, this is a season of growth for me, in so many ways...Ill take it, cant wait to see where I land!

  3. Just checking in, this weight loss process is just that, a PROCESS. The surgery is NOT the goal, the liquid diet never really goes away and exercise is somewhat essential.

    Here is what I have learned:

    1) I can't catch a break, I must count, measure, and select correct foods ALWAYS.

    2) Exercise would help things go quicker, but I still have not been able to embrace the gym, I do like to ride bikes.

    3) Red meat is very difficult to digest, it actually causes a strange sensation and takes about an hour to go away

    4) Macaroni is out of the question, oh how i miss Mac and Cheese. Cheese is pretty much off the menu too

    5) Most fast food places are just not worth the trouble, strangley enough, French Fries are the easiest to eat, but who wants those calories?

    6) Menapause is a #*%$#, my skin is dry and it interferes with weight loss, I have to work harder, Morel of the story, do it while you are YOUNG

    7) Becaues of Menapause, the skin is not going back, the more I lose, the worse the melting candle looks. Again, do it while you are YOUNG

    8) I am not longer diabetic, but I still have to select correct foods

    9) I fell off the weight loss wagon more than once and got a lecture from my doctor GET IN A SUPPORT SYSTEM. So I joined weight watchers and finally settled down to the reality of the situation.

    10) I am now faced with cosmetic surgery.

    Regrets: getting the EVIL band in the beginning, it was a useless idiotic choice and only delayed things. I had revision to a SLEEVe and yet I wonder if I would have done better with BYPASS. We ALL have that discuss in the back of our minds, what if?? So play the cards you have. Eat LESS and get busy focusing on other things to do. The WORLD of Karen no longer revolves around FOOD.

    Now i am planning for plastic surgery, tummy tuck and breast lift. It is very big surgery. My top weight was 240ish, and now I am 161 and those 80 pounds did a number on my body. I realize people here have lost way more and look fabulous, but I don't. So I am going to do something about it.

    I still have other goals, desires and wishes. I still wish on stars believe that things just may all WORK OUT in the end. thanks for reading, Karen

  4. Hi All,

    My name is Cathy, I am in my thirties weigh 95kg - 170cm tall. I don't have huge amounts to loose and although my BMI isn't enough to qualify me, the fact that I had gestational diabetes allows me to have surgery.

    I had the band put in by Dr Justin Bessell at Adelaide Obesity Surgery, in November 2013. Can you believe that I have actually gained 2 kilos since then.

    I have had many adjustment's - putting more fluid in, then taking it out and this has been going on and on and on...

    When I have my period, the band feels so tight and cant eat much at all, then for the other 3 weeks of the month it is too loose and I eat too much.

    I went back today, and they agree that this has not worked for me mainly due to my hormone levels.

    Dr Bessell isn't a huge fan of the Sleeve - he doesn't like the idea of throwing out a huge portion of your stomach, which is something that concerns me as well.

    The Bypass does sound good, but it scares me a lot.

    I would love to hear your feedback on this.

    Thanks

    Cathy

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    Things I will not miss...

    Being the biggest girl in the room

    Feeling shame and embarrassment about the way I look

    Not being able to bend over and touch my toes

    Feeling full

    Binge eating

    Struggling to get out of a chair

    Back pain, leg pain, joint pain

    Not being able to touch all my parts

    Using a sleep apnea machine

    Taking meds for high BP, cholesterol

    Being out of breath walking from a parking lot

    BEING FAT!

    On to the next chapter...

    PS The one thing I do like about myself are my ankles. I've made it this far without having KANKLES. So if you check me out, start there. hahaha

  5. I've lost 60 lbs. Some days the scale will be up a pound or two. Bad scale? Water weight? It gets frustrating when I hear others have lost more in the same amount of time. Am I doing something wrong?

  6. I can't believe it's only been 9 weeks. I still vomit occasionally and have woken up in the middle of the night to vomit- there doesn't seem to be anything in particular that sets it off.

    I have sublingual Zofran and it helps, but I worry I will get esophageal erosion if this doesn't stop. I still get diarrhea and gave just resolved to accept that as my new normal. Anything I have tried to treat the diarrhea only makes me extremely constipated and more miserable. The weight is coming off slowly now. I don't know how much is normal but I eat my proteins and supplements and get my fluids, but I can't always get the recommended amounts thanks to the vomiting.

    I have discussed all this with my PCP but I don't think she knows why I am having these issues, either.

    At least I'm still losing.

  7. its been a long time since ive been on here... I am up to 200 lbs again and trying to get control. carbs from food and beer have been the devil in my life lately and finding that none of my summer clothes fit this spring has been tough. I will be 3 years out end of july. I cant believe I let this happen! I am so dissappointed in myself! Back in XL tops to cover my muffin top sucks! Why is it so damn hard to eat healthy? I was doing so good. and then life flew by and here I am, regained 40+lbs. So here i am confessing, hoping it helps. Planning to get on here daily again, log on myfitness pal, and stop putting crap in my mouth. I read a few of my old blogs and just cried. still crying. I resolve to BE INTENTIONAL! I must remember NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS SKINNY FEELS! How did I forget these things? How can I get back on track? Where is my willpower? I have to find it! Ill keep you posted...

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    Beckie
    Latest Entry

    Has anyone heard of "pouch reset"? If so, does it work? I read an article on this and was thinking about trying it.

  8. Yesterday 5/3/15 was my 5 month post op. I am loving life. All the NSV and scale victories (even though those are slowing down).

    I have not decided my final goal weight yet. I thought I had, but I really dont want to look sick thin. I want to look think, but not sickly thin. That is why title states 20-30#s.

    I am wondering, since I am in slow mo with my weight loss, how did you lose those last lbs to make it to goal weight. I go to gym 3 times a week for 1 hr a day. I am in the middle of our corporate challenge events here at work. I run 5ks and 4 milers when i can.

    HW 256

    Pre op W 242

    SW 231

    CW 169

    GW 140-150

    Any suggestions would be greatfull.

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    Rona
    Latest Entry

    Jeeeeez guys tell me that it goes away.. I'm in a private clinic and I can't even use the shower cause the smell in the private bathroom makes me gag... Not before the surgery though. I'm holding my little fluids down for everything i can whilst taking my clothes on and DUMBASS i put on a perfume.....

    And now I'm sitting with my head out the window writing this thing..

  9. So sorry I haven't been on or updating everyone! I got home yesterday and slept most of the day away. I am feeling pretty good today! Just a little bit of gas and muscle pain. Getting to learn my new stomach is harder than I though. I'm not even sure if I'm drinking too much or too little. I'm not attempting my protein shake yet cause it was causing stomach cramps pre surgery. So I'm just sticking to fairlife milk 2%. NUT wants 20 grams of protein and never really gave me a liquid goal. So I'm trying as much as possible!

  10. Well, I went to my 6 week check in since my lapband surgery. I have lost 20 pounds.

    My Dr. asked if I wanted to do an adjustment and said it was up to me.

    But, I have been doing well thus far.

    So, He said take it week by week. If I feel hungry more or stop losing. To come it and they will tighten it up.

    Bronchitus has put my activity level down lately. But, I am trying my hardest.

    If by Wed I haven't lost any more. I will have a fill.

    I'm nervous. Of course my only question.... Does it hurt?

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    40over9
    Latest Entry

    So last week I hit the 50lbs down mark and wasn't the happiest with my prerogative, given that the week before (1 week post-op), I had dropped 10lbs in a week. The 3lbs that followed rounded me up to 50lbs and I was a little perturbed. This week I'm 4.2lbs down, closer to getting back on solid (or at least chewable) foods and am feeling a lot better. To cheer myself up with my 54.2lbs loss, I decided to look to see what I could compare for my weight loss.

    These things weight 50lbs each:

    - A small bale of hay

    - A big bag of dog food

    - A commercial bag of sugar

    - A small bag of cement

    - A case of potatoes

    - A case of rice

    - The average 6yr old

    - The average adult male bulldog

    - Two car tires

    - 10 - 5lb bags of sugar or flour

    - 6 Gallons of water

    - $200 in quarters

    50lbs of fat is:

    - 175,000 calories or the equivalent need for an adult male for between 70-87.5 days.

    - 22,680 grams of fat or the daily recommended value of 70 grams per day for 324 days.

    I feel a lot better now knowing that my lifestyle before was the equivalent of carrying around those things above on a daily basis. Granted not everything I probably lost was fat but its still amazing feeling the way I do. Now off to the gym!

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    I was 8 weeks post-op on Tuesday, the 7th. Since I started my pre-surgery liquid diet two weeks before surgery, I am down a total of 47 pounds...and today, for the first time in a long, long, long time I feel pretty. Granted I am still very overweight but I can see change and I feel change, and I have hope for my future. It's good to see my efforts pay off.

    Overall the last 8 weeks have gone well. I can tolerate most foods if eaten slowly, however I have had some episodes where I ended up sick, two of which were bad...first one was the shrimp I swallowed too quickly without chewing enough - OMG - that was horrible!! And then last week was the chicken wings my Hubs made. Must have been too much fat (butter) in the wing sauce and ranch dressing because I was really nauseous and had to go to bed right after dinner.

    All in all I can't complain. I'm grateful I have this opportunity to make my life better. I will not take it for granted and will work daily to reach my goals!!

    - Michelle (327 / 295 / 165)

  11. Well as of Monday, I am officially 6 mths post op. I'm down a whopping 68lbs too. Just minutes ago I realized I'm almost half way to my ideal body weight. The changes are so fast my mind just can't keep up. I've went from a tight 22 to a comfortable 14. Shirts were 3x and now L-XL. I can't look at clothes and determine if they fit right now. My mind can't comprehend my new size just yet. I hold it up and think "that's too small" and it either fits or is too big. I wore a skirt last week for the first time in probably 10 years! I'm loving all the changes but I still see the need for more. I'm ok with that too, it keeps me motivated. I'm admittedly uncomfortable with people gushing over the weight loss. Some even say I need to think about stopping. I pray it doesn't become a "you're too skinny" situation. Like most, my biggest regret is; not doing the surgery sooner. I wasted so much time being fat and miserable! I'll be 40 in about a month and I feel like I've been given my life back. If this is half way, I'm gonna be ecstatic when I hit goal! Everyday it's like there's something new I notice. I wonder if my mind will ever fully grasp the new me. This journey is awesome!

  12. Ok, so a week out and I'm feeling fine. Truth be told, I actually felt almost normal the day I left the hospital. Luckily, I can do the majority of my weekly job from a couch, or bed, or a chair...anywhere I have my laptop and wifi. So, I decided to stay home all week last week and rest, which was probably a good idea. It was even more difficult because I felt so good.

    It's funny- the two week liquid fast? Easy. Wasn't really a challenge and I didn't cheat once. But now, essentially being three weeks into a liquid fast, I am done with it. I want food. I don't mean junk food or anything bad- I just want some real food. A piece of meat, some chicken, a plum- I don't care. Just real food. Eating, even though I don't eat much right now, is so boring. I go to my first follow-up meeting tomorrow with my nutritionist and I know that my next phase is pureed, and I'm just praying that it's short...even though I know it's not.

    Onward and upward. I'm feeling good and ready to keep losing the weight.

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    Blog. Just the name makes me roll my eyes. You know what I am talking about. That vapid, self important person you overhear at Starbucks or at work, "Yeah, you should totally check out my blog, I review the latest chai-tea and compare it to my favorite." Yes, that person. I always looked at blogs as a very conceited thing. Who wants to read about other people? Who is so self absorbed that they really think other people want to know what they had for breakfast and how it compares to what they had last week? I certainly didn't think it was very important.

    Until now.

    What changed, you may ask?

    I actually read some blogs, then I watched some video-blogs (Vlogs?). I saw people giving advice, relating experiences and telling stories that were interesting. Not every blog is a self righteous clown spouting the latest trend and it's importance to the cultural feasibility of generation Y. Some of them are genuine people with things to say and experiences to relate.

    I hope I can be one of them. I'll try. But, if I post about the latest trend in anything but a sardonic manner, feel free to call me out on it!

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    Its been hard on me lately. From losing my job, my mom being put on disability and other personal issues I havent been making good choices. Im not in control of my food right now and its super hard and frustrating. My doctor wants me to lose 10-15 pounds before surgery and it seems impossible to even do that. All ive done is eat and eat and eat. I almost did well today and then got carried away. Im tired of my life being about food and it determining how i feel about myself. I wish that I were strong enough to just get through this but i feel like im not and today just made everything feel a lot harder. im afraid to weigh myself because more than i fear having made no progress i fear that Ive gone backwards and gained weight. I wish i didnt have to think about food all the time, i wish eating wasnt a big life struggle where i win or lose against it, i wish that i could just eat a tiny plate of food and be alright with myself instead of having to eat and eat and eat and then feel bad about myself. None of this is fun and im so very tired of dealing with this. I feel like im a child whining but its hard for me not to complain when i feel so overwhelmed and like i just cant do anything right in regards to my weight. it makes me scared that i wont get this surgery and if i do scared that ill mess up and not lose the weight. Im really worried and frustrated and feel like im stuck. sigh.

  13. WooHoo I am definitely off the dreaded plateau big time. When I posted my last blog I had lost 2 pound 1 week 7 the next and just last week I lost a whopping 11 pounds. I am so happy the weight is coming off again. Plus it looks like I will hit my 1st goal by the time I go to my knee Dr. to see about surgery approval.

  14. i just would like to get this out as a simple observation. there have been some things that i've seen that have bothered me to a certain extent. and i'd like to clear the air here before things continue to get out of hand.

    as you can see from my stats, i am a new sleever, still in the honeymoon period. i came to thinner times as a pre-op back in august. (ba dum bum) i lurked and observed until i finally joined in. i've been obese all of my life. so i was nervous, and scared about surgery... but excited.

    i started to ask questions. i got honest, truthful answers. and not once (with the exception of a bacon incident) did i step out of line. because i knew that there are people here who have the same struggles, have been through similar circumstances, but come out on top - lose the weight and KEEP it off, because they're willing to work.

    now i know i'm not perfect. and i haven't agreed with everything that some have said on this forum. but i also know that i'm not a veteran at this. i still have a long way to go, and the veterans here have been kind enough to share their experiences and offer advice, which is what this forum is for.

    so i just have a few words of advice for all you newbies.

    - please don't talk back or cause a scene. whether you agree with what someone is saying or not, this is not a forum for name-calling or backhanded comments. we are a team here. there isn't a competition. if someone is being up front and direct with you, it's because they're trying to help.

    - follow your doctor's plan. none of us here are surgeons, but 9x out of 10 you were given a program before you signed up for surgery. and i can probably tell you that your long-term plans goes something like this: protein and veggies first. measure everything. drink tons of water. stay away from sodas and other carbonated beverages. keep carbs and sugar low. stay away from bread, rice, and pasta. take your vitamins. and if you feel like it - exercise. you don't have to if you don't want, but if you do - go for it. follow your guidelines to a T. if you're stalling, there's a reason for it. be honest with us and yourself.

    - remain humble and willing to listen. there's a reason you're here. and there's a reason that you're obese. if you knew everything, you wouldn't be here.

    - YOU WILL STALL DURING THE FIRST 3-4 WEEKS POST-OP. i cannot stress this enough. IT IS NORMAL.

    - no matter what we here on the boards have to say, it is up to YOU to lose the weight.

    that's all i have, really.

  15. It's not til April 24. I know how slowly the wheels of medicine turn. I live it everyday. Still I am surprised at how long it took to get an appointment. If I had seen the other surgeon in the group the wait wouldn't have been as long but he isn't up to par with Dr. Moon. He's the one. I'm in a fortunate position to have seen both of these surgeons as a nurse and in a professional capacity. The wait may not be what I want but it is definitely the best thing to do. I have already started making changes so I feel confident that I can succeed in this journey. Training for my first 5K... what was I thinking?!? Oh, well I already paid the entrance fee so it's happening :)

  16. Do me a favor everyone. Please. Hug your loved ones around you. Call your loved ones you live away from. Connect. Re-connect. Tell them you love them. And really mean it!

    *sigh*

    I think I've come on here 7-8 times in the past 2 weeks, trying to make this entry. I get the title in. I get 4-5 sentences in. And then I just can't continue. I'm going to push past the 4-5 sentences now. I don't promise it's going to be coherently written.

    Saturday, February 28th, my beautiful 29 year old sister, Nicole, took her own life.

    There. I said it.

    We know how. We're about 90% sure we know why. She left a letter to my Mom & Dad. And she left a letter for our baby sister. We've found other evidence. And, while we know the why, we still just don't understand. I don't think we'll ever understand.

    Your little sister isn't supposed to die before you. Especially when she has so much good in her life.

    *deep breath* Reel it in, GA!

    I am struggling. I am angry. I am hurt. I am lost. I feel guilt. It's a never ending cycle.

    I am currently searching for a therapist to talk to. Or a support group. Hard to find one that's not religious based.

    Anyway, my whole point of this entry was to ask you to please love your family. Even if you're so mad at them you could spit nails. Keep in touch with them. LOVE them and let them know you love them!