I have been doing a lot of “soul searching” so to speak. The time I think about the decision to have WLS the more I think about what got me to where I am today. Reading through others stories brings up more things for me to think about. It is sad to look back on my life and see how long ago I had problems with my weight or what I really think started out as a self image issue. I am sad to say my biological mother laid a pretty crap foundation for that early on for me.

It sucked when...

nicki

So I continue to go to as many meetings as I can. Sometimes travel for work or just work itself gets in the way of being able to make a meeting, but the staff at the surgeons office tells me as long as I make it once a month I am doing OK. The meetings are a tough thing. They just are not geared towards men. I sat there one night listening to a lecture on how fruits and vegetables shaped like body parts were good for those parts. I had none of the gear they were talking about. They mentioned...

szar

That epiphany came in the form of my job being eliminated. Of course I gained more weight. And more. But I went back to school. I had been big into lighting and theatrical effects so I returned and joined the Electrical Engineering program rather than what I had been studying. I continued to see a counselor, continued to take medication, continued to get fatter. I tried diets again. Oh did I try diets! Nothing seemed to work. I was lucky to get a job working with computer support in the...

szar

Now things were pretty lousy and I just started looking for something to do. Anything at all. I ended up taking a scenic design class in the theater department and they had a requirement that I work for free for one of the university shows. The show going on at the time was Don Quixote and I was assigned to run a follow spot. It turned out that I loved it, absolutely loved it. I got to dress all in black, hang out in the shadows, and make something beautiful come to life on stage in light,...

szar

Blogs of long entertained me. I never really felt that I had anything to say that anyone else would be interested in reading, and some of the ones I have read have come across as having been written by a pretentious jerk. Hopefully I can pull this off without being a jerk or pretentious.

My doctor long ago suggested I keep a journal for when it comes time to get insurance company approval for the surgery, but I have been only keeping mental notes and a binder of test results, etc....

szar