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Feeling sad for my fat self.

Posted by andread7644, 21 June 2013 · 243 views

4.5 Months Post Op
234lbs
-91lbs total

Lately, I have been feeling extra sad for my fat self. Trying on my old pair of size 26 jeans gives me a lot of motivation. But today and yesterday, just looking at them makes tears start to well up. It just disgusts me that I never realized how big I used to be. And to think these jeans were getting really tight 5 months ago makes it even worse. Now, I know my body image is probably completely warped since most of the time when I look in the mirror I feel like I still look 325lbs, but its embarrassing to me because if I look like this at 234lbs, then holy cow I must have looked super duper horrible at 325lbs. I've been going onto mybodygallery.com lately just to get a feel for how I look now since I'm not sure if what I'm seeing in the mirror is exactly how I look, and when I type in my old height and weight and pants size, I relate very much to the images that show up. When I type in my current height, weight, and pant size I feel like the women look wonderful, but I don't feel like thats what I look like. Its really frustrating because it almost feels like I don't know who I am because I can't figure out what I look like! I'm not even sure if what I'm typing is making any sense at all. Now I'm just scared for what it will be like once I have actually met goal weight. Am I still going to feel obese and gross? I know I wrote a post about this awhile back already feeling this way, and now that I'm writing it again has me really concerned I will still feel this way when I am a normal weight.




Interesting topic..I was thinking along the same lines myself today. I am down about 60 pounds now about half way to my goal weight,but, when I look in the mirror I see someone still horribly overweight although, I feel so much better than I did 10 weeks ago, physically, my self image is completely shot...I have been overweight for 30 years now, I can't remember what it is like to be at normal weight.I am 10 pounds away from entering a weight zone that I haven't seen in 30 plus years..Andrea,you're big advantage in this self image problem is that you are so young and because you made the decision to take this bold step so young, you will have plenty of time to adjust slowly to your new self image. Over time hopefully, you will have a harder time remembering the bad ole "fat days" You are doing great! You look great... :)

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Honey you were beautiful before and beautiful now and you will be beautiful when you level out.  It's from the inside - always will be.  Now you're just healthier - and probably a lot more comfortable in your new jeans :)

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It takes a while for our internal image of ourselves to catch up to the reality.  I'm almost a year out and still have problems with that.  I've had to constantly tell myself that I am a normal size now, because all I see in the mirror is huge flappy arms and thighs.  As I understand it, it does get better in time as we adjust to our new body size - judging from my hubby's experience, women have more of an issue with this than men do.

 

Cavmommy above is right - you were beautiful before, now, and in the future.  You will just be much healthier and happier to enjoy it!

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I've read posts where even at goal people don't really see themselves as they are. I believe it really does take some time to accept the new person looking back in the mirror, and the much smaller body. There is a feeling of pity and understanding when I see someone as big as I was before. Not really disgust, but a desire to help somehow. I know how it feels.

 

Ditto... you were beautiful before, are now, and will be as time goes by. :)

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