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Its been a minute but I need to blog

Posted by Sal, 22 February 2012 · 152 views

I've not blogged since my serious breakdown several weeks back in regards to my FSA being depleted due to some serious misunderstanding with the out of network sleep study center.  

Turns out, my surgeons office called them and they have this arrangement to accept what the insurance pays and will supposedly refund me the difference, two weeks later, I'm still waiting.  I am hopeful but I refuse to believe it until I see it.   I placed a call to their office today and I kinda feel like I was given the runaround but I am going to allow them just a tad bit more time to receive payment, post and issue refund.   We shall wait and see..


I wanted to blog about tomorrows first nutritional and weight loss class.. I am excited.   I had a terrible day today looking for that cute outfit to celebrate my 40th birthday party this saturday but found that looking at myself in a full length mirror thoroughly disgusts me.  I cant believe I've allowed myself to get so out of control.  I look hideous.  There's nothing cute in any store that can mask this deformed body I carry around everyday.   I read someones blog yesterday about how she still sees herself as this large person and I couldnt relate.  I still in my head think I'm just a little overweight.  Looking at that mirror today made me realize I am severly obese and I really need to do what needs to be done to make sure I qualify for this procedure.  I dont know what I would do if I dont get it approved..




I know what you mean! I didn't think I was "that bad" until several years ago when I saw photos of myself (photos I didn't know anyone was taking at the time, so I couldn't tell them the "picture rules.") They were of me from the side, and a very broad shouldered man was in front of me. The pic was the perfect angle for me to see for myself that I was wider FROM THE SIDE than his very very broad shoulders. I fell apart. Had zero idea that was what I looked like. I've been working on losing that ever since. I kept the picture for motivation. Sorry you had to go through that. It's awful. Hope tomorrow is better.
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Keep up the hope Sal. Things will turn around for you soon. Hope you can have your surgery as soon as they clear this insurance matters up.

PS: No one likes their plcs before. I think I refused to take pictures in god only knows how long, now Ive gotta get some of me fat so that I'll have them to compare to the new me coming. Good Luck!
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