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LisaBoston · 02-19-2006, 07:06 PM

For me this time before surgery, I analyze my thoughts and emotions to prepare myself for this change in my life. I had a revelation that I wanted to share with you.

Last night my family was sitting at the supper table and we were having taco's. My 8 year old noticed that we all make our taco's differently and we chatted about this for a few minutes.

From out of nowhere, I said, well when I was about 12 years old or so, my mom would leave me alone at home and I remember a time when I ate a 1/2 of a head of lettuce. I was in so much trouble for doing that. But I remember being hungry and having to make my own meals all the time, and thats all I could find in the house.

My husband was so mad that I had to go through this. I was thinking about this last night in bed and realized the impact of living like this as a chlld. We were not poor, yet my mother and boyfriend would go out to eat every night and leave me to fend for myself. I ate what I could find and make. The light bulb went on and I think that this really set me up for failure with weight loss. I had to eat (and probably binged) when I could get food, consoled myself with food when I couldn't get the attention I needed.

Funny in all these years, I didn't think about this time in my life and it took sitting around the table with my family for me to see and remember it.

Moral of the story - I need to provide a good example for my child, so that she doesn't grow up following in my footsteps in regards to food.