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Peckkale · 01-30-2006, 11:59 AM

My daughter and I have gotten into the habit of sharing lunch whenever we are out shopping.

On Sat we had to go into LA to drop off her laptop for repairs. On the way home we stopped for lunch at Denny's.

I sat quietly while she ordered a club sandwhich and told the waitress that we would be sharing it.

It took about twenty minutes for our lunch to arrive. As we sat and chatted I suddenly found myself looking at everyone seated nearby and the huge platters of food each was being served.

As our lunch arrived the waitress set the shared lunch in front of my daughter and I suddenly felt myself feeling very deprived. I wanted a plate of food set in front of me too! I had to reach accross the table to get my portion and it made me feel self-conscious .... Socially ill at ease.

Later that afternoon we stopped by the mall and as we walked past the stores I caught sight of a reflection in a window. It was shopper about my age. She was well dressed and carried herself with a sense of pride. You could see it in her stride.

I was overwhelmed with jealously. Quickly diverted my eyes and thought to myself. "That is what I want to look like."

A moment and another reflection later I suddenly stopped short, took a few steps back and turned. My daughter stopped chattering and asked, "what?" as I stood looking at the store window.

"That's me," I said. She looked at the window and said, "Yea that's you. Why?" I had to laugh at that moment. The thin, well-dressed older woman I had seen and felt overwhelming jealously over was me.

Odd how I the mind works. One moment feeling deprived then jealously followed by a sense of pride.